The Boyfriend Brigade | Chapter 38

by Samantha in Texas

*Oh my flipping God it's over! (Epilogue anyone?) I hope you enjoy it because I think this is my favorite chapter! <3 Thanks for your comments people! You guys rock!

THIRTY-EIGTH

            He’s just going to hurt you, that’s all he ever does.

            Peter was right. That’s all Jake has done to me. All he’s brought me is hurt and confusion these past three weeks when all I ever wanted was a normal, regular school year. I guess I only have myself to blame though—I allowed myself to fall ‘in like’ with him, even after strict warnings from Peter and Sydney. I allowed myself to think he was a good guy when really he was the bad guy.

            That’s all he’ll ever be.

            “Jessie,”

            I gasp at the touch of someone’s hand on my bare shoulder and spin around to face a beautiful-looking Sydney in a black sequence mini-dress and her light brown hair pulled up into a complicated looking up-do and her eyelids dusted with smoky eye shadow giving her clear blue eyes a mysterious feel.

            How did Erik not fall in love with her?

            “Are you okay?”

            I’m unable to respond because I don’t know how I’m feeling. I never liked Jake the way I like—love—Erik. He’ll never be him no mater how hard he tries. I told him I’d give him time, and he goes and takes Stacy instead.

            That’s what she wanted, and that’s what she got.

            “I’m fine, I guess.” She opens her mouth and closes it just as fast. “He’s looking at me, isn’t he?” Sydney nods slowly and I turn around to face a flush looking Jake and a smug looking Stacy. He’s busted, and he knows it.

            “He thought you weren’t coming. That’s what some people were saying after they heard about your nonexistent breakup.” I don’t even care about that. All I care about is Erik and how this is going to hurt him. Tears prickle in my eyes and I turn around to face Sydney. She sees my tears and her eyes widen. I’m crying because I knew Stacy was using Erik and I did nothing to stop it. I don’t care about Jake, I just care about Erik.

            He’s the only one I’ve ever cared about.

            “It’s—it’s okay Jessie, don’t cry. You’re a beautiful girl and—”

            I cut her off. “Tell my friends I had to go, okay? I can’t…be here right now.”

            Before I can hear her answer, I turn around and run out the gym.

            I can’t be here right now, not because of Jake.

            But because I won’t be able to bear seeing a hurt expression on Erik’s face.

…

The sky is most beautiful at night.

            I sit on the patio swing on the deck, looking out at the starry sky and humming along to Paramore’s The Only Exception. I don’t consider it a sappy love song. I talks about love, yes, but it talks about the downside to it. Hayley William’s vocals fill the chilly night air with a love song that finally tells the truth.

            Love isn’t always what it seems.

            I scrubbed the make up off my face and picked my hair up into a ponytail as soon as I got home. It wasn’t me. I changed into some sweats and Dad’s Penn State hoodie again. I like it this way.

            Peaceful, I mean.

            From where I’m sitting, I can find the Little Dipper. I wish Erik were here. We love finding the constellations together.

            Erik.

            I don’t even want to imagine what he’s feeling right now. How betrayed he must feel and lonely. I bet Stacy told him I knew, I bet he hates me, I bet—

            “It’s the Little Dipper.” My head snaps toward the sliding door of the deck at the sound of Erik’s voice. He looks nice. I suppose he was wearing a blazer but now he’s not—probably tossed it aside when he entered the house. He knows where the spare key is. His hair is in its normal state, dark and sweeping across his forehead.

            I love the way he looks.

            “What are you doing here? Why aren’t you at the dance?”

            Erik stops the porch swing and just stands there with his hands on the bench-thing behind me. We’re pretty close. I can make out his barely noticeable freckles and the color of his eyes right now.

            They’re green.

            “Sydney told me you left. You shouldn’t be walking home by yourself at this time.” He searches my eyes for something but it feels like he’s looking into my soul. “Or crying over jerks,”

            “I’m not. Did you see—?”

            “Stacy and Jake dancing?”

            My brow furrows. “You saw?” Erik nods nonchalantly, as if he’s not hurt at all. “And you’re not—”

            “Mad?” I give a small smile because I like that he can finish my sentences. “Why would I be?”

            “Because you liked her. And she just…just…”

            I can’t finish my sentence because of the way he’s looking at me. His eyes are looking into mine with such intensity that I have to look away or I’d be put in some kind of Erik Trance. “Used me? I don’t care because…because she’s not you, Jessie.”

            I look at him in complete awe. “W-What?”

            “You know when I say you mean too much to much to me I mean exactly that, right?”

            “What do you mean?”

            He brushes a piece of hair behind my ear. The place that his fingertips brushed against burns hot. “I mean that I love you as so much more than just a sister to me. And I don’t want to loose you. Not again.”

            I just stare at him, unable to muster up any kind of response. So instead, I cup his face gently in my hands and kiss him. And he kisses me back. There’s something about this kiss, some feeling that I just can’t put my finger on. It’s bliss, I think. Erik’s kisses bring me pure and utter bliss.

            Once we break apart I laugh.

            He smirks. “Are my kisses that bad?”

            I shake my head and look at his outfit and then mine. “No, not that. We just look…odd…I guess. You’re all dressed up and I’m all…well, not.”

            Erik chuckles to and looks at me through his lashes. “You always look nice.” I blush and he slides his hand into mine. “Don’t you think we both deserve one good dance tonight?”

            I nod. “Yeah, I think we do.”

            Erik helps me to my feet and we dance. Right here, on the deck with the starry night sky in the background and Secondhand Serenade’s Fall for You chiming in the background.

Tonight will be the night that I will fall you

Over again, don’t make me change my mind

Or I won’t live to see another day, I swear it’s true

Because a girl like you is impossible to find

You’re impossible to find…

            “I like this song.” I state, resting my head on his shoulder and taking in the smell of his delicious cologne.

            “Then it’s our song.”

            I remove my head from his shoulder to look up at him. “Our song.” I repeat.

            Erik nods. “Yeah, but I’m not falling for you all over again.”

            I reach up on my tip-toes and peck his ever-so-soft lips. “Me either.”

            And that’s the truth.