Christmas Party

by Josie
in Arkansas

"Hi everyone!"said Christapher.We all said"Hi!" back."I'm so glad your hear"Ma eclaimed."And I'm glad to be hear,"Christerpher said in a very scary voice.Ma said"Scince everyone is hear i will start Chrismas dinner.About an hour later Christapher said"i will go cheack on the food!'Once he got in the kitchen we heard a bloody cry.I yelled"Ma!!!"I ran in the kitch

en with fear.Blood was everywhere.Ma was lying in the middle of the floor with a nife in her back,Christipher was gone!!!!Blood was dripping from the top of the celling,there was a note:CHRASTIN is next!

See more stories by Josie

Login or register to post comments
180 reads
Email this page

You need to work on this (I

You need to work on this (I fixed your mistakes)

"Hi everyone!"said Christapher.
We all said Hi! back."I'm so glad your hear (Here! You didnt spell this wrong but you go the wrong type of here)"Ma eclaimed (exclaimed).

"And I'm glad to be hear (Here),"Christerpher (Christopher) said in a very scary voice.

Ma said"Scince (Since) everyone is hear (Here) i will start Chrismas dinner.About an (A) hour later Christapher said"i will go cheack (Check) on the food!"

Once he got in the kitchen we heard a bloody cry.I yelled"Ma!!!" ("Ma!" I yelled)I ran in the kitch (Kitchen)

en with fear.Blood was everywhere.Ma was lying in the middle of the floor with a nife (Knife) in her back,Christipher was gone!!!!Blood was dripping from the top of the celling,there was a note:

CHRASTIN is next!

Red means spelled wrong

green means needs to be capatalized

Bluee mean grammer

purple means to fix the words around

orange means Huh?

yellow means different puncuation (I can never spell that right!)

. "Join the Random Club: http://www.kidpub.com/story/please-join-rc-1931113403 THE MOST EPIC LOVE STORY! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EADziqTgT0s IT LEFT ME IN TEARS! BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH!!! Maggie: Saying Epicletastic a day keepes maggie from stalking

Posted by Thing 3/Dr.Seus... on Thu, 11/24/2011 - 18:40

Sorry, that was bad. A lot

Sorry, that was bad. A lot of spelling mistakes. It didn;'t make any sense.

'I'm Hannah Montana! Not an Hannah Montana Impersonators!" Diary of Hannah Montana

Posted by I collect socks on Thu, 11/24/2011 - 18:52

its my first

its my first time Shooting-Star

Posted by Josie on Thu, 11/24/2011 - 22:26

Dear Josie, Don't be mad at

Dear Josie,

Don't be mad at these two comments.Even though they might be hurtful,the words are constructive critiscizim.These people are just trying to make you a better writer. DON'T BE ANGRY AT THEM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Sophie on Thu, 11/24/2011 - 22:08

thanks sis eventhought i

thanks sis eventhought i have anger issuse

Posted by Josie on Thu, 11/24/2011 - 22:20

Yeah Josie! Don't give up! .

Yeah Josie! Don't give up!

Posted by Thing 3/Dr.Seus... on Fri, 11/25/2011 - 08:10

thanx 4 lifting her spirits,

thanx 4 lifting her spirits, y'all she gets kinda mad sometimes.

Posted by Sophie on Fri, 11/25/2011 - 12:19

well,i do too

Posted by Sophie on Fri, 11/25/2011 - 12:20

well,i do too

Posted by Sophie on Fri, 11/25/2011 - 12:20

now that I think about it,

now that I think about it, that was a pretty good story! I am sooo sorry for what I said

'I'm Hannah Montana! Not an Hannah Montana Impersonators!" Diary of Hannah Montana

Posted by I collect socks on Sat, 11/26/2011 - 14:55

Your on the right track!

Your on the right track! Just keep working at it!!!!!

Posted by Thing 3/Dr.Seus... on Sun, 11/27/2011 - 08:20

I am so

I am so happy!!!!!!!!! Keep on goi'n Josie!!!!!!!

Posted by Sophie on Sun, 11/27/2011 - 16:12

KidPub Authors Club members can post their own stories, comment on stories they've read, play on KidMud, enter our contests, and more! Want to join in on the fun? Joining is easy!

CLICK HERE TO GET STARTED!