(help comment on a good title!!!) (intro)
 | by
Er-Bear (Erin) in Texas |
I wrote a book in fourth grade (and it's pretty bad,) and so I was going to take the ideas and plot of that old story and make them into a good story. First of all, is this a good idea??
second, here's the plot. Tell me if it sounds good. (btw, i was always into fantasy, so this might sound a little like the locket. Also, this is for my 2nd grade sister, not a teen!)
Two friends find something magical, and they get transported into another world called ______ (this would be my title) and land on a beach. They meet some unicorns, and a girl who takes them to their palace. The princess is missing, and they have to go find her. They set off on an adventure, along with a handy guide, and go some days with little food. finally, they hear mermaids and go up to them, asking if they've seen the princess. They magically give the girls tails, and they swimm after the mermaids. Thy've kept the princess there becausse they want to be her friend, and then release her because she promises to come back one day. They go back home. The king is overjoyed and makes the girls able to come back to __________ (the place name) whenever they want.
the end.
Well, that's how i wrote it in fourth grade... but i will make it a lot better and actually have a conflict, lol!!!
OK. I NEED U TO COMMENT ON A TITLE (NAME OF PLACE) AND NAMES FOR A PRINCESS, AND CHARACTERS!
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is good! world could be called Arcadia or Utopia
sounds a bit cliche to me
It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye, then it's just a game. Find the eye.-Sergant McFluffers
I find it highly logical to speak in a manner akin to that of Mr.Spock.-JS
Hmmm...well, you might want to add some twists or something, because it sounds a bit like...well, like a story you made up in fourth grade. Maybe it's just the way you described it, but it sounds all happy happy girly girly pink kitties hearts puppies rainbows. Cute cute cute. Of course, if you made the story a bit more...dark, that could add a nice irony. And yeah, a conflict would be nice.
The thing is, even though it's for your second-grade sister, that doesn't mean you have to make it all...gooey. Don't talk down to kids. That's the number-one fail of children's book writers. As long as the ending's happy and the middle isn't too gory, it should be fine.
Um...dunno about a title, or names.
But if you do this, I'll definately be reading. It should be interesting to see what you're going to do with it.
I agree. It sounds like you did write it in 4th grade. You should change it up just a little. It would turn out great if u added twists and turns (like clarissa said).
BTW GOOD PLOT!
You could have the princess run away and everyone just thinks she was kidnapped, or give the mermaids an alterior motive... Just suggestions.
For names... Uh... Anketh? Yeah, I'm not amazing at names.... BTW, Utopia was a book by Thomas Moore.
Every person's life is a fairytale written by God's fingers ~ Hans Christian Anderson
Lorataye LOR-A-TAY-
The stories that i'm currently writing, here on kidpub are.... 1. The time- traveler 2. Silence of the Gods 3. Emails from me to you and to you from me 4. Care to chat--(Haven't worked on it recently, but I will soonnnnn 5. Around the USA (Facts abou