| | by
Nicole in British Columbia |
jo was up bright and erly for his day of work at the beach.he put on his life gouar suite and ate breakfast fast.then he heded out the door and started the 10 minute walk to the beach.every day he satarted work at 8.00 and ended at 4.00.it was a lng day that he had to sit in a chiar and watch the people.when he got to the beach it was a lready started to filll pu.boys and girls ran all over the place.he was just a few feet away from the chair when a litlle boy around 7 ran into him.oof said jo as hey both fell into the sand.the boy picked himself up and shook of.before jo could say if he was all right the boy said hiy!im visating for the summer!my family gos to the beach every day!thats nice!said jo.im the knew life gourd heare.they talked for a litlle bit before he ran off and played.then jo slimed up to his chair and watched the children.jo must have been dozing when he herd a scream.he glanced a round.a litlle boy was runing out of the water in a panick.many of the other kids folowed.jo jumped of his chair and ran to were the kid was staring at the water from a good yard away.whats the mater?asked jo.at ferst thee boy did not anser but then he started.it was sea monster!big and scary!by then all the kids wereout of thewater and were with there parents.jo made his way o the water.he waded out deep.sudnley his foot brushed somthing wich felt like fuff skin.he steped back a litlle and peared down.what he saw was not a sea monster but some seeweed stuck to a stick.he picked it up and showed to every one.they all ran backinto tghe water wich got jo soking wet but he couldn resist.
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How old are you? You have a
How old are you? You have a nice writing idea, but you need to form it into a story. Your writing lacks spelling, grammer and a wide range of vocabulary, which makes it a bit hard to read and enjoy. Keep working at it though, I promise to read the rest of the chapter, but please try working on your writing. You can do it!!!
thanks for the idea!ill try
thanks for the idea!ill try it outin the next chapter!
You might want to put
You might want to put quotation marks around the sentences the people speak. And check up on your spelling. You might also want to break it into paragraphs and such....All of this counts to make a story good! I like this story, though! Keep going!