Living Every Moment~ Chapter 1~ Cara
Posted January 12th, 2012 by SaddleAngel
“What do you mean, Daddy? I don’t understand!”
“I know it’s hard to get, baby, and it’s not fair. But I need you to try to listen to me, all right? This is really important.”
There are tears in my daddy’s eyes. I don’t really get what he’s saying. He told me all of this big people stuff, with big words- leukemia, disease, fatal. We’re in the waiting area of the emergency room. I got checked out by a nurse- she wasn’t too calm. I didn’t know why. I still don’t. Then she rushed out and brought a man doctor in. I didn’t like the way he looked. He seemed scary. He had a scruffy beard and red eyes and bags under them. He could’ve been in one of those horror movies my big sister Kaylyn always goes to the movies to see. Her and her boyfriend, Ashton, bring me to the theater, but when we get inside, they always go and get popcorn while I get my ticket. Then, when I go and get snacks, they go and get tickets. They don’t even talk to me when they pass me going into the theater. Sometimes, after the movies are over and the one I see is longer and Kaylyn and Ashton wait in the chairs near the snack bar, I see them kissing for a long time. Sometimes, I listen and Kaylyn makes these nasty noises and Ashton does, too, and then one of them pulls away and Kaylyn says why the movie scared her. Then Ashton goes to kiss her again and I walk in them ‘cause I don’t want to listen ‘cause it’s really nasty.
“Cara, are you listening, baby doll?” My daddy’s voice cracks what I’m thinking about. “Sweetheart, I need you to listen to me, okay?”
“I am listening!” I whisper-yell. I do this a lot because I don’t like everyone looking at me but I need people to listen to what I’m saying, sometimes.
“Okay, honey,” Daddy says. He’s almost smiling. I don’t know why he isn’t. Usually, when I whisper-yell, he laughs in a really big way, and people look at me- even though that’s why I don’t really yell in the first place. Like, one time, we were in the middle of the food store, and I whisper-yelled that I really wanted chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, ‘cause that’s my favorite. Daddy was getting mint chocolate chip, ‘cause that’s Kaylyn’s favorite. So I whisper-yelled, and Daddy started laughing really loud and people stared at us and I didn’t like it. Kaylyn’s the opposite of me, though. She loves having everyone staring at her- especially when Ashton’s with her. Once, I asked Mommy this a couple years ago- before she died- and she said it was because Kaylyn’s popular. I still don’t even understand what popular means, really. Kaylyn got really annoyed when I asked her in front of Ashton in his car after the movies one day. But she answered me even though she was angry. She said being popular means that everyone you know loves you. I don’t really get how everyone Kaylyn knows could love her all that much, though, ‘cause she’s really mean to me a lot. Like right now. She’s sitting a few chairs away from us and she has her phone and her big square sunglasses on. I don’t know why, since it’s December. But she has sunglasses on anyways. I think she thinks that she looks cool when she does it, but I don’t know. Kaylyn left the room that I was checked out in as soon as the doctor talked a little bit. She didn’t just walk out like normal, though. She started running out, and when everyone looked at her, she flipped her sunglasses down- they were on her head- and said that Ashton texted her. And then she left. Why didn’t she stay with me? That’s what any good big sister would do.
“What’s wrong with me, Daddy?” I ask. “I don’t get it! What do you mean? I don’t understand your big words!”
“Sweetheart, you’re sick. You know how you haven’t been feeling good lately? How you’ve been sweating a lot at night and you hurt all over and you’re not hungry?”
I look at Daddy’s green eyes and nod. Kaylyn had pretty, different-colored brown hair like him and his eyes, but she didn’t like it. She got blue contacts and dyed her hair blonde, but I don’t know why, again. She looked so pretty with her brown hair and green eyes. Now, she just looks like everybody else. I asked Daddy why she did this awhile ago, and he just said that he didn’t know, either. Kaylyn didn’t answer us when we asked. She just got really mad and stormed off and slammed her bedroom door and didn’t come out until dinner. Me and Daddy just laughed and got some ice cream and watched an episode of our favorite show, Good Luck Charlie.
“Cara, honey, please. I don’t know how to tell you this the right way, so I’m just going to say it, okay? You’re really sick, honey. You have cancer. We can fix it, but, for right now, we need you to do everything we tell you to, okay?”
See more stories by Hadleigh Philomena