Torture and Healing Chapter 4

Another epic chapter! You're really amping the suspense here.

CC TIME! XD

Yet, I was wrong. I wasn't the next one to go. As soon as I heard the gunshot, I knew that I wasn't.

We ran torwards No R in towards! the noise and saw it... one of the police officers that was stationed outside was slumped against the fence. The sheriff there was never a sheriff before. went over and pushed the guard gently over onto his belly, just in case he was still alive. But,  no comma here! we all knew he wasn't. His bloodshot eyes rolled back in his head and there was a huge gunshot wound that was most likely to be made by a forty calibur   this is spelled caliber  .

I gulped down a huge lump in my throat. That lady was not taking pity. She wasn't going to stop until every single morsel in our house was murdered just like she was.

That night I called my friend   Specify! Is this her friend from the first chapter, or a new one? Put in the name, either way  . I told her about the police officer and the gun. I told her that no one believed me when I said I saw the lady. She gave me reassuring words and then we said goodbye and hung up. Tonight, I would stay on the couch, this time, with a police officer at my side. The plan was I would hold a blanket over my body and when the lady came, if she came, I would throw it over her head. Just to make sure she was a ghost. It was risky but it was worth a shot.

Well, night came. I snuck out of my room after telling the police officer my plan and hid under our red blanket we had ontop two words! of the couch. I had a peeky hole where I could peek out with one eye but no one else could see me.

An hour passed. No movement. Then another hour. No movement. And yet another hour, and the air seemed to stir. I heard a slight wind whistle and then a cloud of dust appeared. The police officer hesitated, scared for his life and family. I took a deep breath and got ready to pounce.

The lady, in her swirling white cloud --INSERT COMMA HERE-- walked over without making any noise to the police officer  What do you mean by this? How does Lisa know that she makes no sound to the police officer? and pulled out a match and a knife. Right before she lit the match why does she need the match? Maybe this is just another mystery...?, I went into action, throwing the blanket over her. For a moment her body took shape under the blanket, then the blanket fell to the ground. *gasps* So she really is a ghost!

Scared, I backed into the wall. The police officer had retreated as soon as I pounced. So much for police officer. Nice touch of humor here. Suddenly, the white, vampire like face was right next to mine, her gripping hand over my throat. She lifted me off the ground, choking me. I gasped with no prevailance. The lady whispered in her deep voice, "Don't cause any more trouble, cause if you do, I'm gonna kill you!" I'm not sure about this piece of dialogue. I don't know any old ladies who talk like that, and the fact that she's in a dress leads us to believe she's very proper. Thus, 'gonna' to 'going to' and 'cause' to 'because', and maybe '.' instead of '!'. This is just a suggestion, but I think it may run better if you do. Then she dropped me and disappeared. As she disappeared I --INSERT COMMA BETWEEN DISAPPEARED AND I-- saw my parents and the police peeking through the door, mouths open. I collapsed and choked in some air, then stared at my parents. I had proved my point. Like the attitude at the end here!  

Again, this is a really awesome horror story.

However, how long have her parents and the police been there? Couldn't they have helped?

Off to the next chapter! And again, please do not be offended or discouraged by all the CC. I think this is a really great plot and story, and I just want to make it as good as possible. :3

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I'm not clumsy. I'm graceful and just act clumsy so that less fortunate humans, like, I dunno, Olympic athletes, don't feel bad and jealous. XP

~ LST XD

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS STOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRYYYYY IIIIIIIIIIT DEEEEEEESERVES TOOOOOOOOOOO BEEEEEEEEEEEEE PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBLIIIIIIIIISHED! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MR. BOSCH: What is your favorite animal? PSEUDONYMOUS: To eat? MR. BOSCH: No!~ Pseudonymous Bosch, interviewing himself..

THANKKKKSSSS SSSOOOOOO MUUUUUUUCCCHHHHHH for the support! :D:D:D:D THANK YOU!

__________________________ You wanna be in an NES? Go to the Eragon NES!!! Become a character anytime!!! WRITE NOT FIGHT!!!