The Black Tornado
by Dragon Prince
Chapter 1 One day Collin was walking home from school. Thinking of something to do after fencing class, "Ahhhhhh! What was that?! Run Away! There's a Black Tornado chasing after me!" asked Collin. "Where and who are you, and what's that thing on your wrist?". "The Black Tornado is in the forest, and I'm Jeena. The thing on my wrist is a prizpod. It holds a creature called sprectrobe and the specetrobes are used to battle the Black Tornados. I usually beat them, but that krawl that beat me ha 999,999,999,999,999HP." Jeena said. "Maybe I can try," Collin said. Chapter II - The Talk "No, you can't fight until you are fully trained. That means you're fully trained when you can beat me." "What!" Collin bellowed. "Are you kidding me? Wait, I remember you. You're in my fencing class and you're the teacher right?" "Yep" said Jeena, "and let me guess, you're Collin?" "Yes, I'm Collin" he said. "Then after fencing we'll battle." Chapter III - The Attack

Cool story! Sounds exciting!
Cool story! Sounds exciting! This is just a suggestion, don't be offended. If I were you I would press enter after each talking. Not this: "hi" i said "hi ran for your life! "ahhh" "so" "run!" See it's kind of confusing. But if you do this:
"Hi"
"Hi run for your life!"
"AHH!"
"so.."
"RuN!"
Plus it will make your story look longer :) Thats what I do :) Great story though! Keep writing!
Good Story! A person is a
Good Story!
A person is a person no matter how small- Horton the elephant