Kati

Okay, I'm kind of watching what I put on here now, but anyway . . . I hope this doesn't offend you, but this is going to be a little more constructive criticism than usual.

First off, it's well written. Good storytelling, and I liked the grabber. That never changes. The only thing I have with it is: why a dragon? Why would this dragon pop into this kid's world? And if the answer is trans-dimensional travel to save an alternate world, then please tell me.

Also, I thought you might find this interesting: people with chronic insomnia suffer a condition called 'hyper-reality experiences.' Basically, it's an LSD trip without the LSD. Symptoms include seeing remarkably bright colors, motion being more exaggerated, seeing auras around people and things, and in some cases, severe hallucinations. I thought that might be where you were taking it . . .

It's good stuff, but the dragon thing makes it pretty hard to bite. So, if it is a real dragon, give the audience something new to chew. Sorry to be so frank, but I can't put it any other way.

Denique Caelum