in your dreams
The frost seemed to cloud Hazel with dread. She had just started fifth grade in September, and already, she hated it. The teachers were rude ( especially her math teacher), and the lunch this year with the new menu--URRGGHH.
Hazel Kamalachi had tons of friends--okay, not really. She had five. Taylor, Zoey, Fiona, Cady, and Jake. Turns out her only friend that's a guy is totally insane. Well, all of her friends were. That's why she loved them like brothers and sisters.
But back to the weather--URRGGHH fits the description well. It was snowing softly, almost pleasantly, but extremely cold. Snowflakes landed on her jacket hood, standing white against black. They landed on her eyelashes, on her nose (and she quickly shook them off), on her shoes--everywhere. Hazel walked slowly, feet tapping away the 23rd day of the third month of her last year of elementary school. Her swamp-green backpack slid off one shoulder, and she hurried towards her locker.
"Hey, Haze," a voice said casually. "Haze" is what he called her.It's what everybody called her. Hazel turned, slightly annoyed, and saw Jake smiling thinly next to her. "Why the down face?"
Hazel rolled her eyes, and made a perfect pre-teen pouting face.
" 'Cause. Ms. Livvie is so strict! And Mr. Rilestone gives out SO much homework! Plus, look at the weather out there! Freezing, Jake, freezing cold!"
The two ten-year olds stared at each other until Jake broke the silence. "Well duh, Haze, it's snowing," Jake concluded thoughtfully, counting his fingertips. "It's winter, and it's fifth grade. Teachers are gonna be meaner this year."
Hazel groaned inwardly, and walked into her homeroom, pushing Jake to his seat next to hers, chin in palm, and on her teacher's orders, flipped her math book to page 57.
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No, the whole 'book' isn't going to be this boring. But, relax, it's the beginning. I'm just introducing everybody's personality, etc.
...Dont' judge a book by the first page. Lol.
See more stories by Heather
Haha, really great! Didnt
Haha, really great!
Didnt think it was boring.
Sad thing was,
I was exactly this way last year...
Thanks. And thanks for
Thanks. And thanks for letting me using your name for Ms. Livvie's name, lol.
Which way?
LOL, I acted my age. Very
LOL, I acted my age.
Very pre-teeny, I guess you could stay.
Like Hazel.
Like me. I modeled Hazel
Like me.
I modeled Hazel after me.
Even her friends--actually, Hazel's story is a somewhat changed version of my life.
I changed all the names, weather, blah blah BLAH.
But yeah, later on in the story...
This is kinda... weird. Dont
This is kinda... weird.
Dont you think?
What's weird...?
What's weird...?
You are exactly like
You are exactly like me...
Haha, its actually funny.
The whole Connecticut thing,
the fact that your bio pretty much explains ME.
: O
cool. haha.
cool. haha.
Okay, first off, you are
Okay, first off, you are going to be a happy reciever of the KAZEL GUARANTEE!!
The Kazel Gaurantee, do you ask? Well it's the whole comment package for ya! It is a happy bundle of critiques AND compliments!
So....
Compliments: It is very real it life. I like the detail and word chose.
Critiques: You seem to be introducing things and people WAY TO FAST. Slow it done, let the reader find stuff out for themeselves, eh?
I'll read the next page 'kay?
Hmmm... A bit slow and at
Hmmm... A bit slow and at the same time fast (I know that sounds stupid, but it's true).
I like it. I'll read the rest.
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*Create wonderful things* *Be good* * Have fun* *Write on*