The Dinosaurs of the time portal (Draft) by, Ethan C

by Mrs. Lovello's Winning Writers
in South Carolina

March 16th, 2008

Quietly I Nigel sit patiently at my old rusty desk trying to learn more about dinosaurs and their names. I think and contemplate how I can build a time portal that can bring me and my team more than 600,000,000 years back in time. My brain throbbed because I was thinking so hard. Ah ha I came up with a brilliant idea. My computer can build a computer type lazer that will bring me and my team to the cretacious period. I want to bring a pack of titanosoars back to prehistoric park but me and my team have no idea what other dinosoars we are going to run into. A few weeks later the park was looking good so was the lazer powerd time portal. The time portal was almost ready for a human being to go through oh im kind of sleepy im going to take a nap good night zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz wake up wake up the time portals ready yes. a fuw hours later we were all packed up and ready to take our 600,000,000 trip back in time. everyone ready yes turn it on ye ha we spun and spun finally we were in the cretacious period. wow it sure is different here ROAR over there allasoars run hide behind this tree oh that was close. back at the park my teammate Bob is fixing up the titanosoars cage. Back in the cretacious period me and my team almost got eaten by a 28 foot a allousoars but we got away. the wind was bloing north tordse a swamp were 50 foot crocks creeped among the swamp floor. just to tell you we are meat so watch out. one crock smelled the scent and crept out of the freezing cold water. At that time we were sitting on the shore of the lake. Watch out!!! the crock splashed out of the freezing water and soacked everyone. run!!! we ran into the creepy forest the crock wont go into the forest the crock growled and we headed into the forest and began our search for the titanosoars.Well I do have a red horn maybe I can set the time portal to the 21st centry and use the horn to scare the titanosoars into the time portal. A few minutes later the plan was retty 5,4,3,2,1 honk!!!!!!!!!!. Watch out there charging. Finally we had a pack of gigantic titanasoars back at prehistoric park yes. Great job nigel now we have a pack of titanosoars at the park.finally we have a pack of titanosoars at prehistoric park. And join me and my team on my next amazing trip.


See more stories by Mrs. Lovello's Winning Writers

coolio! keep writing!

coolio! keep writing!

(Hydra, Amber's sister)
"SHEESH!"~my trademark phrase

Sounds great! Good job! "So

Sounds great! Good job!

"So our kids won't see a polar bear. I've never seen a dinosaur and you don't see me crying about it!"
~Jackson from Hannah Montana

You are on the right track.

You are on the right track. You have used a lot of vivid words we have talked about. Great job! Could you tell me who is telling the story? Are you Nigel? Look at 4 lines from the bottom--Should it say, "Back at the park my teammate, Bob, is fixing up the titanosoars cage."? I can't wait to find out what happens! Are you working on this in class tomorrow? Make sure you have a copy of it in your notebook to continue writing.
~~Mrs. Lovello~~ :0)

That is SWEET!

That is SWEET!

Great job dude.=D

Great job dude.=D

I cannot wait for another

I cannot wait for another peice by you! Keep writing and never give up!

Ethan this is a good story!

Ethan this is a good story! I can't wait to find out what happens next great job dude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Min


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