After Living: Part One (reprise) READ PLEASE!!!!

I know this seems kind of strange, and this really shouldn’t be happening.
I didn’t know it would happen, myself. I’m just writing about it so other people can understand. So they don’t freak out.
Listen to me. I’m babbling, seriously. I’ve got to get to the point. Otherwise there would be no point.
Okay, here it is:
There is somewhere you go when you die.
It’s just a little different than what you might be expecting. I should know. I’m in that place right now.
I’d say that I live there, except I’m not really alive.
That’s right. You heard me.
I’m dead.
You’re probably thinking this is a big joke. If I came from any other family, you’d be right.
But--
And this is a big but.
But I come from the family I come from. And I’m not joking.
You’re really confused right now, aren’t you?
Okay.
My family is extremely strange. They believe in “limbo”, whatever that is, and being in two places at once. And ghosts, and reincarnation, and all sorts of other weirdo stuff. You know, spiritual whatever-the-heck-it-is.
Trust me, this all gets kinda annoying after a while.
And every single person in my family has a claim to fame—except me. Mom is a stay-at-home mother who has a psychic hotline. Dad paints in the garage and has had several “visions”. My older sister Juliana ran away a year ago, when she was seventeen, to take an “enlightening” tour of India. (She paid for the plane ticket herself.) My twenty-year-old brother Zane is a super-environmentalist and aspiring cryptzoologist (the study of animals like Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster).
And me? I’m just Ronny Nathan, your average twelve-year-old girl who likes elephants and Pirates of the Caribbean. And cookie dough ice cream.
So obviously, well maybe not obviously but you get the point, I had to live up to my family.
But I’m kinda getting ahead of myself. This story starts two weeks ago. Not now. And everyone reading this is probably all like, “Ronny come on tell the story we’re waiting for you don’t leave us hanging get on with it!” Etc., etc., etc. Okay.
It was an ordinary Saturday morning in the Nathan household. Then again, the Nathan household isn’t exactly ordinary. So I guess it was a slightly-not-ordinary morning in the Nathan household.
But I digress.