About England

by Obi in London

About England

This, to all you people who are curious enough to read this: Is the blatant, uncoated truth about England. Living in England gives me the ability to see through the stereotypes and accents, using every day experiences. Now I warn very carefully that, most people actually will find this offensive so unless you have a sense of humour and can deal with the truth without hating it, I wouldn’t read this.

The first stereotype inflicted upon the British population is our ridiculous accents, yes they are side splittingly ludicrous sometimes. Though what they don’t realise is firstly that to us American accents are kind off funny, and secondly there are over fifty accents spread across the British Isles. In England, we laugh at each others accents! Because a Londoner’s accent would be ludicrous to a Liverpool guy and vice versa! Out of all the accents of England, Liverpool accents will make you wet your pants with laughter (after they’ve left of course or that’d be rude)! However Londoners, who think themselves the most sophisticated and modern beings of Britain actually have an accent so strange it was named after something really strange. Nearly all Londoners, including myself have the accent known as Cockney even if they only have it a little. The word Cockney comes from the words Cockerels Egg, which is an example of a strange unnatural happening.

The second stereotype, is the posh Englishman. This of course is partially true especially for British woman, but few remain. People who act to posh these days are accused of being pretentious. Then there is the opposite of posh, there is the rowdy, cockney lout called a football hooligan. The type of guy who looks like he got dragged out of the gutter, slipped on a football shirt and had ten pints of cheap lager and saved the bottles to throw at the opposing teams goalkeeper! These men are the scourge of England, and are recognised at a glance by anyone.
Now here comes the offensive part. I’m afraid that it is a fact, that British people are mean in the way they can’t help but to make fun of America. My parents a few years ago until I told them to stop, would sometimes even call Americans stupid. We don’t really believe it, in fact America’s more clever than us. We just like saying it, because it always gets a laugh back. British stand up comedians, love to make fun of America! Also you may have heard of the term : ‘Yank’ given to American. So English people call Americans yanks, it isn’t offensive if that what your thinking, it’s just nickname.

The English schooling system is much different to the Americans.
This is how the year groups and such work:
5-11 years old is Primary school, known in America as Elementary school I think.
11- 18 years old is secondary school, or high school.
Middle school occurs in Primary school from year groups 3-6.

Most English high schools have houses, like in Harry Potter and a traditional coat of arms (also like Harry Potter). Sixth Formers, or Senior Students are given privileges over other students and different uniform. In English high schools, football is not the main sport, peculiarly. Most high schools, feel that rugby is superior to football (soccer). In a house there are ways of keeping authority, the student leader of a house is a house captain. A teacher leader of house is called a Housemaster, and below the house captain is a prefect. These people are distinguished with badges and pins. Most high schools have a Head Boy and/or Head Girl, who is the highest ranked student in the school.

Disclaimer: You chose to read this article after I warned you so, you may not post comments of complaint or scorn me in any way for what I have written. Anything offensive in the article is just an inconvenient truth.

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