Quotes that I like

I heard you don't like the paperwork, on account of some of the words have more than three letters.
--Ziplock, in The Supernaturalist by Eoin Colfer

CHIPS: Sushi? That's raw fish. You ever have that buddy?
PEX: Yeah. I bought some in a supermarket once.
CHIPS: Was it good?
PEX: Yeah. I threw it in the deep-fat fryer for ten minutes. Not bad.
--from Artemis Fowl, the Eternity Code

JULIET: Guess what? You're not supposed to deep-fry sushi
--also from Artemis Fowl, the Eternity Code

Well, I'm more lopsided than a one-legged badger. I think I'll have to settle for hunting stupid mice. They won't stand a chance. I shall just wander up to them and sit on them till they surrender.
--Graypaw, in Warriors: Into the Wild by Erin Hunter.

To be your friend, I'd have to be more than clumsy. I'd have to be stupid.
--From the movie Zorro the gay blade, a Zorro parody.

In dog years, I'm dead
--my agenda book

If genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, then I share elevators with some very bright people.
--my agenda book

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
--my agenda book

Shut up Julius! I mean, quiet a moment commander.
--Mulch diggums in the first Artemis Fowl book

Trees make air. Homework kills trees. Homework causes global warming.
--my brother's tee-shirt