Painful Truth... I need help with my Novel... Please comment and give me your opinion

by Fate in the Land of Lore and Myths

I don't rememmber hwere I left off so here's the whole shabang. I edited some parts too. Obi, Maryam, everyone please comment. I have a blockage on what should happen next.

Scales: Book 1
Trials of Trust
Prologue

In the land of Marlowa, mortals and immortals live in unity. But it was not always so. Many years ago, both races abhorred each other, and battled for supremacy. But now, after the most important and greatest battle, the Differences War, there is calm and understanding. Although evil has tried many a time to extend its dark tentacles over the land once more, it has not prevailed. But it waits, lurking in the most remote areas of Marlowa. Waiting for a chance to once again, spread terror, war, blood and racism.
Mortals and immortals have now been mentioned, but there is one more group, or better said a link. These are the Sedamagra. The Sedamagra, or in common, the Dragonriders, link both of the other groups together. For although the Magra is mortal, Seda is immortal.
Magra are chosen at birth by the Elders of his village, city etcetera. Once they are chosen, they are bestowed with the Illan. This is a special mark, two dragon wings with a sword running through them, surrounded by the words, “Ne magra u seda, ranar uan sharren. Ristor na wester gurnada.” Roughly translated, “This rider and dragon forever are bound. Guardians of peace and justice.”
At sixteen, the young Magra is bestowed with a dragon egg, for which he must care for, for one year. During this time he is called a Watcher. Sadly not everyone succeeds. Failure, mean being stripped of title, mark and to be sent home in shame. If he succeeds, he receives one of the most respected titles in all of Marlowa. But with this comes a huge responsibility. He must guard the land from evil and keep peace with restless tribes and groups.
Yet now, a new evil threatens the peaceful land, its tendrils crawling, hungering for more. Slowly, it is taking hold. Sedamagra are needed more than ever, but more and more are failing to take care of their eggs, which are disappearing mysteriously. What will become of Marlowa? People are ignorant yet still of this danger. They unsuspectingly walk into the deceiving arm of evil. When will justice reign again? When will evil be relinquished? When will the Riders triumph?

Chapter 1
The Beginning.

Nillika Scale Stonefeather crept silently through the cover of trees and bushes. Her waist-length brown plaited hair swished gently across her medium build as she made her way through the outskirts of Jarria, a small town near the border of Marlowa and Opilila. Her bare feet brushed the moss and felt the green leaves beneath her feet. As she came to the border of the forest Karromla, she eyed her target steel-gold eyes a-twinkle. Nillika’s delicate rose colored lips turned up into a smile as she crouched down, ready to leap at her prey. Completely unsuspecting the target sat down by the weaving frame and began to work. Blonde hair waving to and fro as she worked blissfully. Tensing her muscles, the young woman sprang at her sister shouting a war cry. Shrieking, Nillika’s sister Kartana fell over as she tried to back away. Her tan face clouding and hazel eyes ablaze as she watched her younger sister laugh hysterically gasping for air, Kartana yelled, “Nila! You almost gave me a heart attack and you’re laughing! What do you have to say?”
Barely containing her spasms of giggles, Nila replied, “I got you good that time.”
Furiously, the elder sister lunged at her younger sibling, who avoided her nimbly. “You’ll have to do better than that Kart,” Nila said shaking her head. Kartana took off after Nillika shouting threats and oaths as they tore down the dirt roads of their town. Skidding to a halt, both girls eye widened in surprise, and in Nila’s case pure joy. A Magra and his Seda stood in the town center, along with the elders. The dragon was truly glorious looking. At fourteen feet the giant reptilian-like beast stopped everyone in their tracks. Shining scales ablaze with the colors of a burning flame. The rider was a young man about five foot’ ten, ebony black hair pulled back into the standard Rider plait, the Magra armor caught all the men’s envious eye’s and his muscular build had already attracted many of the girls, who were giggling in a corner. Looking at the girls tittering in a niche, both the sisters rolled their eyes at each other as they walked towards the center of Jarria.
Cocking her head, Nila tried to figure why the Magra was here. Unless… Suddenly, her heart stopped, and then skipped a beat. It was still another day until then, but still. A stupid grin spread across Nila face which she quickly covered. The head elder, Jarndgon, noticed Nila and beckoned her with a gnarled finger to come. As she walked, Nila attempted to keep a dignified composure about her. Reaching the place where the Magra and the elders stood. Respectfully bowing to them Nila heard the young Rider ask, “Is this the one you spoke of?”
“Aye, this is she,” Jarndgon spoke. “By the last war Nillika Stonefeather, you don’t have to bow anymore.”
Glancing up, Nila erected her body and stood with her hands clasped. The head elder held a bundle in his hands and asked, “Child, hazard a guess. What do you believe is in this bundle?”
Nila’s mind raced; finally she voiced the thought that had been vexing her since she first saw the Rider standing in the square, “Is it a dragon egg?”
“That is correct. The Magra and his Seda have brought it all the way from the training center Yerkala. Do you know why?” This she knew for sure.
“Because I am marked and will receive it on my sixteenth year.”
“Very good.” Jarndgon nodded his head, which made his long snowy white beard bob up and down over his elaborate robe. Nila barely refrained herself from bursting into gales of laughter. The elder waved his hand and Nila knew she was dismissed. “Wait a moment,” came the Riders clear voice. Turning around Nila stared at the man with an inquisitive gaze. “I merely wished to say that I am overjoyed that you will be joining our ranks soon. Also, a small word of caution. Eggs have been disappearing across the land, guard yours carefully.” With that, the Rider took a running jump onto his dragon. The Seda bore his gigantic wings downward and took off into the horizon beyond. By now Nila was almost faint with pure shining joy. I’m going to be a Sedamagra was her only thought as she walked back to her small thatched house where her family lived. Looking at her lifestyle momentarily, she wondered what would change when she became a rider. She would move to the training center of course, but what was she leaving? Looking around at what had been her home since birth Nila contemplated this question. Her town was small; the biggest building was the livery, which was also the only stone building. All the houses were wood thatched fire hazards. Will I miss all this? Will I miss my life? Nay, not this one. Not this one.
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At home the two sisters were preparing supper. All was well. All was calm. The door slammed open admitting their father coming in from his job in the Livery. Lardon was a middle aged, heavyset man with black graying hair, coal eyes and a very negative opinion of Sedamagra As he sat in his chair in front of the fire with a heavy thump, Nila contemplated how she could break the news to her father. “Father,” Nila began cautiously, stirring the stew. “It’s almost my sixteenth year.”
Kartana gave Nila a warning stare.
“So it is. What do you want as a gift?” Her father inquired.
“I would like….” Dare she say it? “I would like to take my duties on as a Sedamagra.”
Lardons face clouded. His ears turned red as he bellowed at his youngest daughter, “Are you mad? No child of mine will ever be committed to those, those.”
“Protectors?” Nila supplied
“They are pagans all of them! People treat them like gods. I will not have my daughter submerged in such… Idolatry!” As her father ranted, Nila tried to keep her face a blank mask. She knew this would be his answer. Lardon was still raving when Nilas elder brother, Passon, came in from working in the fields. His cropped hair was normally a light brown but was dark from sweat, Gold eyes understanding, he gave Nila a sympathetic look as he sat down in a chair stretching his long legs.
“I bet your brother agrees with me,” their father’s voice broke through. “I’ll bet he agrees with me. Unlike you he has common sense.”
“Now then, what in the name of the first Magra are we talking about,” Passon inquired with a roguish twinkle in his eye. Both his younger sisters gave him a death glare.
“Exactly THAT! Your sister wishes to take a place among them. What do you say to that?”
“I say that since a Magra went out of his way to bring an egg over here today, and the Elder is vehement of her joining, that she should join. Never mind the fact that she’s been marked or that she has a passion for it.”
Lardon face turned red as the Sedafire. He opened his mouth to say something as a retort, but nothing came forth from his lips. Standing there with his red face and gaping mouth, he looked somewhat like a fish. At this thought, Nila let out a short laugh, which was misinterpreted by her father as smugness. Turning even more red than thought possible, he finally was able to speak, or in this case, bellow with rage, “Go to your room! And stay there! Dugan knows why I’ve put up with this for so long. The first man that asks I swear, I’ll give you to him. No more of this Rider nonsense! You are forbidden! You’re confined to your room until my earlier threat is completed!”
Mortified at first, Nila stared in disbelief at her father. Then soon, rage consumed her inner being like weeds a garden. “WHY?!?!? WHAT do you have against the Magra? Why do you hate them? I don’t give a blasted thought on what you think! Tomorrow I WILL take my place and WILL become a Rider. I am marked and have the right to.
“I am not a child anymore. You cannot deny me what I have right to.”
Silence filled the house. Nobody moved or talked. Nila’s siblings were in shock as was her father. As for Nila, she was shocked herself yet defiant. Then, she turned on her heel, and stalked to her room. Slamming the door so hard the house shook.
Then she sat on her mat, and began to cry hysterically. The hot tears of disappointment and fury rolled down her etched face. The moon rose, the stars came out and the hearth dimmed its coal, but Nila couldn’t stop the tears flowing and the sobs wracking her body. Finally, as the sun dawned on her yearday, the flow of agony subsided. Nila arose and washed her face with cold water. How will I survive this day? How will it end? How can I become my hearts desire without offending my father? Well, without offending him more than necessary… These new thoughts ran through her head. But, digressing Nila knew that there most likely were impossible answers. She waited for the sun to rise, then, donning a new white and grey dress, she silently crept out of the house to the elder’s hall. As expected they were up and ready for the presentation. Eyeing her Jarndgon asked inquisitively, “Where is your family?”
“Asleep,” came the short answer.
“We heard some arguing at your house last night. Something about you becoming a Rider I believe.”
Nila’s face flushed as she whispered mortified, “You heard?”
“The whole town heard it my dear.”
“By the evil in this land,” she cursed.
“Dear child, I am afraid without your fathers consent, I cannot permit you to become a Magra.”
Tears welled up into Nilas eyes; she bit her lip to contain her emotions. Considering her position, she realized that nothing was possible without her father’s agreement. Mournfully, she trudged out of the hall, then, broke into a blind run for the Karromla. Once inside the shelter of trees she collapsed. The sound of the wind whispering through the trees was comforting, soothing even. Silhouettes of leaves splayed across her body. Exhaustion had come when her last ray of hope had been diminished. Curling up at the root of a tree, welcomed sleep finally overtook her; plunging her into a dark, dreamless, fit of slumber.

Chapter 2
Painful decisions

Nila awoke to the chaotic blend of worried voices and footsteps awoke Nila at sunset. Bits of conversation floated through the blanket of the forest. “…She disappeared this morning...” “…they fought far into the night…” “…denied the right to her egg…”
They’re talking about me! Nila realized. But why? “…ran away poor dear…” The sickening reality struck Nila. They thought she had run away. Running away was disrespectful; but of course they would assume the worst of her. Blowing a few strands of hair out of her face, Nila stiffly rose to her feet and began to walk causally back to town, frantically searching for a good excuse. Maybe I can wing it. No, that’s no good. Well innocence always wins out. I’ll be ignorant today. Doing her best to appear normal, which was hard considering she kept whisking behind corners in the dimming light. Suddenly, a figure rushed towards her and smothered Nila in a suffocating embrace. “Nila! Oh, Nila. We searched all day for you. But we couldn’t find you anywhere.” Kartana began to speak incoherently. Then, as suddenly as she came, Nilas sister pushed her away and looked her sternly in the eye. “Nila. You shouldn’t run away like that.” All the emotions that Nila had believed were gone came rushing back. Crying hysterically she sobbed, “I-I didn’t mean to run away! I just- just couldn’t….” Her voice trailed off as newly formed sobs shook her body. Softening, Kartana hugged her sibling gently, stroking her hair a crooning, “There, there Nila. It’s alright. Shhhhhh…”
After a few minutes, the sobs and sadness dissolved somewhat. As her sister guided her back to the house, Nila was absorbed in her own thoughts. Silently, they entered the house. Passon, who had been sitting by the fire waiting anxiously stood up suddenly, but refrained from blurting anything out when he saw Kartanas warning look. Mouthing to be quite, she half dragged half guided Nila to her room. Then, just as they reached the door to the adjacent room a voice growled angrily behind them, “Nillika, you’re home.” Whirling around, Nila faced the very person who she was avoiding. Her father. Oh joys. Just the man I needed to see.
“I’m glad you’re safe.”
Nila stood there dumbstruck. “Why?”
“You’re my daughter. Of course I worried.” Something is up. “I have come to a final decision, about your wish.” No way… “I acted irrationally. You may become your hearts desire. JOY! Oh pure joy. “Although… There is one thing you must understand.” Of course. A catch. “I cannot support someone I hate. If you become a Sedamagra, I will disown you.” Oh look at his smug grin. He thinks he has me. Maybe he does…
The room became deathly still. Her siblings stared at her father in disbelief and Nila in silent pleads. But the chance was there. Nila wasn’t about to let it fly away on the winds breath. “Alright. I’ll pack up.”
Kartana gasped and Passon coughed. Both had mortified expressions on their faces. Her father also looked a bit mortified and even… Remorseful? But Nila was beyond caring.
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A bit later Nila found herself in front of the Council Hall with all her belongings. Here I come. Stepping into the hall, she found the Elders all gathered about a map of sorts. Some other, younger men whom she didn’t recognize also stood among the sea of wrinkled faces. “Nillika, unless it is urgent, please leave,” Jarndgon severely said. Slightly abashed, Nila stepped back. Then regaining her courage, she stated in a clear voice, “I have done as you said.”
The village wise men looked up almost simultaneously in surprise.
“Oh, really Stonefeather?” Edgun, the village medicine man, inquired, his icy eyes sparkling with something other than his usual aloofness.
“Yes Master,” Nila said bowing.
“Your father…”
“…Agreed?” The twin prophets, Elis and Sami, queried. About to answer, Nila was cut off by Namry, the youngest member of the Elders, “YOUR father accepted the very fact he always denied?”
“Yes Master Namry. Masters Elis and Sami.”
The new faces were puzzled and inquiring. A short, stocky man who resembled a dwarf, rose and asked, “An’ who is this lass who is allowed t’ barge in?”
Turning to face the man, Jarndgon replied in calm, even voice, “Henberg, this is the girl of whom we spoke of at the beginning of our session.”
Suddenly, all of the men averted their attention on Nila. Awkward…
“Nillika, these are some of the Sedamagra.”
Immediately, Nila bowed to the proper extent, ears turning red at the sound of a few scattered chuckles. When she resumed her upright position, Nila found herself looking at gentle, calm, expectant faces. Turning to the head Elder, Nila softly asked, “Can I still be one? After today and everything…”
“Child. Of course. We’d be fools not to let you.”
A radiant grin spread across Nilas’ face.
“Please kneel Nillika Stonefeather.” She followed the order. “Do you hereby swear to guard this egg with every bit of your power?”
“I swear it.” And how.
“Then accept this egg, and we hope to have you as a new Rider in a year.”
A leathery, warm egg was placed in her hands. A strange power flowed from it, it felt regal and at the same time, grateful. Nilas’ heart felt like it would burst with joy overflow.
“Rise Watcher Nillika. And may wisdom guide your every step.”
Getting up, Nila gratefully looked at the head Elder and bowed, tucking the egg she hugged close to her body. “Thank you Master Jarndgon.”