An e-mail from my dad// Commercial Crisis

For those of you who read the other one, more truth from my dad.

Have you heard? Some (strange) people say that we should all wear clothes the color of the food we are eating at the time. Then food stains would be less of a problem! In the morning, kids can just dress in colors that convey to their parents what they want for breakfast without having to waste the energy to move the mouth, tongue, and vocal cords. This is the position of the “Kids Should Be Seen and Not Heard Society.”

For example; to request tomato juice, one wears red, and to request a salad, it’s green. I can tell you’re not really catching on to this. Let’s move on then . . .

Who do we want to be today? . . . Let’s turn on the TV and find out!

QUIZ – BEST ANSWER PLEASE

Question: When a TV producer (we’ll call him or her a, “TV Master”) creates a popular TV show, the advertisers pay more for the commercial space because

A. more people will see the product advertised in the commercial.

B. money grows on trees.

C. the advertisers like to watch the popular show too.

D. there are more Indians in the state of Oklahoma than any other state in the US (fact).

Let’s take a look an interesting and devious aspect of the TV commercial scheme . . .

Ever notice that you can tell how much TV someone watches by how they talk? An example would be the frequent and redundant use of the word “like”. “Like” was repeated by certain TV characters, often blonde and seemingly no so intelligent. It was all in fun, but soon TV viewers began “parroting the word “like” excessively. The words of TV-talk are deliberately chosen to make the viewer feel the desire repeat those words. Repeating TV-talk makes the TV show stick with you even after you leave the TV for some other activity. But it also makes something else stick . . .

Let me explain how advertising money fits into this scheme:

How do the makers of Strawberry Barfo-Tarts get kids to repeatedly want to, and remember to eat that brand of junk food and not the other brand of junk food? It begins with devious advertising - when the makers of Strawberry Barfo-Tarts agree to pay the TV Masters lots of money to keep Strawberry Barfo-Tarts on the minds of as many kids as possible.

If a Cooly dressed character (the TV producer decides what’s cool, not you) says certain words, or they talk a certain way, or they roll their eyes a lot , or whatever it may be that month, viewers tend to repeat those actions (copy-cat behavior) throughout their day. And every time they do, their subconscious recalls that TV show – and the Strawberry Barfo-Tarts advertised on that show! –Yes, the advertiser is now like a computer Barfo-virus - but in your brain!

As planned, if just one person in a group, Sally for instance, imitates someone from that show, other people around them who may have also seen that show, may suddenly share a craving for . . . Strawberry Barfo-Tarts! It’s as if for that moment, Sally’s action has, ipso facto (by the act itself), made her the unknowing cheerleader for Strawberry Barfo-Tarts. And the Barfo-Tarts Company doesn’t even have to pay her. Next thing you know they are heading home to ask for Strawberry Barfo-Tarts.

Called adinfection, it is like having a billboard in your head that flashes Barfo-Tarts, Barfo-Tarts, Barfo-Tarts, Barfo-Tarts . . . when there is a cue (prompt or signal), from Sally for example. This is one way that kids as well as grown-ups become corporate zombie slaves. Does the word “Got” . . . make you thirsty for a white liquid to drink? It’s an Adinfection. So, beware - TV shows are not there just for your amusement. Be amused, but beware.

A snake with many heads (no disrespect to snakes intended) . . .

The makers of Strawberry Barfo-Tarts will also try to make other associations between the commercial and the program itself. This means to connect the two so that when you think of the program, you will also think of the commercial. That is why beer and truck commercial are frequently seen during male programs like football games. Football is a tough, manly thing so in commercials, beer is drunk by toughly dressed, manly sounding guys, and truck commercials sound tough as can be. The effect of the commercial can take hold days after a TV football game when some neighborhood guys are playing football in the park. In this case, afterwards, while driving home, some of the participants may think to themselves, “I wish I were driving a new, shinny truck and when I get home, a cold beer would be satisfying indeed”.

Some imitation of others is good when you’re teaching yourself good habits. But over-imitating others causes the loss of self-confidence and self-esteem. This is because the message to one’s self is, when being myself, I am not good enough.

QUIZ

Question: Whose money pays for the TV show featuring Strawberry Barfo-Tarts commercials?

A. No one pays; it’s just there . . . like a bird in a tree – we either choose to watch it or we don’t.

B. Ultimately, the viewers who buy Barfo-Tarts because when the viewer buys them, part of that same money is paid by the Barfo-Tarts company to the TV Masters for commercial time.

C. Wild llamas.

D. The government.

QUIZ

Question: If the TV commercial for Barfo-tarts or the TV show associated with Barfo-tarts leaves something lingering in your head – like a word, phrase, a song, or an attitude, unscrupulous TV Masters intended that to happen because:

A. they love you.

B. they care about you.

C. they think that the word, phrase, song, or attitude will help you.

D. they think that the word, phrase, song, or attitude will help them – like help them get your or your parent’s money . . . and if the TV wasteland leaves you in the gutter, that is not their problem because you still have to eat.

QUIZ

Question: If the new main TV caracter wears a pointed hat and the next day the GAP starts advertising all kinds of pointed hats, was this just a coincidence?

A. Yes, just a coincidence . . . can I go to the video arcade now?

B. No coincidence; it is likely that the TV Masters and the GAP are in a business relationship.

C. No coincidence; it is likely that the TV Masters and the GAP are in a business relationship and charactor is spelled wrong in the question.

D. No coincidence; it is likely that the TV Masters and the GAP are in a business relationship and character is spelled wrong in the question and again in choice C.!

ADVERTISEMENT

A message from the makers of Barfo-Tarts and soon the new Barfo-Burgers:

We care about you, we really do - God bless Barfo-Tarts.

Now, sing along . . .

Barfo-Tarts are good

Goodness you will see

Get sick like all your friends

Then lie and watch TV

TV fun the whole day through

Nothing better is there to do

Think ‘bout nothing while you lie

Eat them Tarts till you die

Soon, like Slick on TV

You will be as cool as he

You’ll say “like” twice in one sentence then say it again

And when you grow old you’ll look back when

There were all those things you could have done

But it was TV that spoiled the fun.

And remember that sitting and watching someone else live a life is hardly living one of your own!

Love, Dad

Ps. have you ever heard a cartoon character say “thank you”? –Report back if you ever do.

ANSWERS: A, B, D, D