Please comment on this!

by Caroline in The Awesomest Place!

I want to publish something I wrote. This is the beginning. Tell me if you think it's good!
I walked down the sidewalk with my backpack sagging on my back. A cold wind went by and blew my brown hair into my face. I sighed and quickened my pace. When I got home, my mom was in the kitchen. She looked up.
"How was school, Emily?" my mom asked me, while pouring orange juice.
"Good," I scrambled up the stairs. My baby sister, Mary, was sound asleep in her crib. I looked down at my sister and smiled. She looked so cute in her pink pajamas. I went into my room and stared at my goldfish. It was swimming from side to side. It must be terrible being a goldfish. You have to live in a fish bowl your whole life, do the same exact thing every day and think that there's nothing more to life than a glass fishbowl and flaky fish food.

I glanced at my watch. It was time to do my homework. I took out my math book and my
notebook. I sighed as I quickly did my math. A few minutes later, my mom called,
"Dinner!" At that moment, Mary started wailing. I quickly ran to her room and picked her up.
When she saw me, her face lit up. I tickled her under her foot. She squealed happily. I carried her downstairs and handed her to my mom. I set the table and everybody sat down. I took a spoonful of vegetables and rice.

"So," my mom asked, "Are you entering that writing contest?" I nodded and said,
"But I still don't know what to write about." The winner would get their story published.
"Mom, can I ask you something?" I asked. She nodded.
I hesitated before saying, "Why did you get divorced with dad?" I regretted saying that
right away. My mom was silent for a few seconds.
"Well," she said in a shaky voice, "Your dad was very stubborn, and we disagreed on a lot of things. We were both very angry at each other." She sighed and smiled weakly at me. I knew that I was never to ask her that question again.

(This part is kinda boring but it gets much more exciting later!)