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Death. comment please!

Death. comment please!

by Harry
in Cheshire

February 2nd, 2010

I was kinda bored. I wrote this while listening to 'welcome to the black parade'. In a sense I wrote it as a prequel to this.

 

can't feel at all, not a thing

 To this last hope I will cling

 I am so afraid, I'm so scared

 my certain death has been declared

 lying alone in my bed

 my entire body filled with dread

 here it is, the final test

 I told my mum i'd do my best

 to life I bid farewell

 into the darkness I then fell


See more stories by Harry
i really like this poem and

i really like this poem and the ryhmes fit in really really well!

Posted by Holly on Tue, 02/02/2010 - 15:24
Great job, Harry! That's

Great job, Harry! That's great. The poem rythms perfectly, which I find hard to rythm. You must have a true talent at rythming. Most of the problems with people trying to rythming is that people would choose some random word and it doesn't even flow. But yours flows! Despite a few capalization errors it was very good.

~~Chelsea~~
"I am Truth! The voice of the Covenant!" -Truth
"And your voice must be silenced!" -Arbiter

Your beloved and honoured Kidpub Writer of the Year

Posted by Chelsea on Tue, 02/02/2010 - 18:54
Thanks for the comments!

Thanks for the comments! I posted it from my iphone so thats why it has a few errors in it.  

Posted by Harry on Wed, 02/03/2010 - 12:01


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