Death. comment please!
by Harry
in Cheshire
February 2nd, 2010
See more stories by Harry
in Cheshire
February 2nd, 2010
I was kinda bored. I wrote this while listening to 'welcome to the black parade'. In a sense I wrote it as a prequel to this.
can't feel at all, not a thing
To this last hope I will cling
I am so afraid, I'm so scared
my certain death has been declared
lying alone in my bed
my entire body filled with dread
here it is, the final test
I told my mum i'd do my best
to life I bid farewell
into the darkness I then fell
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i really like this poem and the ryhmes fit in really really well!
Great job, Harry! That's great. The poem rythms perfectly, which I find hard to rythm. You must have a true talent at rythming. Most of the problems with people trying to rythming is that people would choose some random word and it doesn't even flow. But yours flows! Despite a few capalization errors it was very good.
~~Chelsea~~
"I am Truth! The voice of the Covenant!" -Truth
"And your voice must be silenced!" -Arbiter
Your beloved and honoured Kidpub Writer of the Year
Thanks for the comments! I posted it from my iphone so thats why it has a few errors in it.