Let This Be a Reminder *CC, pleaaase?*
 | by
(LST) Dark Lord Sir Snivelcusachoowhodathunkitkibble in one of my many worlds of ÆPYKNESS. |
January 31st, 2012
A/N: I decided I needed to post a poem. :3 So I went and wrote this. I think this is the first time I've written something right into the KP post a story thing, instead of a word document first… XD So, yeah, no editing for this… meh.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE give me CC, or tell me what you liked and didn't like, even if it was just a tiny thing? I really want to get better… Please?
Let this be a reminder
Of days past,
Of blood spilt
And of sins left
For the hands of our children.
Let this be a reminder
Of when we believed,
Of when we cared.
Wear it and then
When our paths cross again,
We'll reminisce
And maybe try to forget
Everything that's happened,
All but the good.
Keep this bracelet,
It's a symbol of our friendship.
(No wonder it's so
Dirty and broken.)
As long as this lasts
I'll live on in your heart.
(Oh,
You're going to rip me
Apart, piece
By piece
From the inside.)
We'll live on.
Let this remain to
Remind me why I'm fighting,
Why I need to save you.
It's okay, I know you've
Fallen, but I'm right
Here above you,
Just take my hand and I'll
Pull you out of the evil.
It's okay, I'm coming.
Let this little bracelet
Save a life, cut off
The bleeding for them
When it seems they're already gone.
But isn't that what friendship
Is for? Saving the ones
Who can't save themselves?
It was so simple, those
Days. No good and evil,
Just good and happiness and
Wondering why the sky was blue
Instead of hoping it won't be painted
With all the wrongs we have
Done. It's so easy
To forget.
Let it be a reminder
That there is good
Somewhere in the world,
Even if it cannot last,
Even if it always wilts,
Even if the good always dies,
Doesn't the bad fade away
Too?
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This.............................................................................................................................................................................................................................I dont know how to say this.......................................................................................................ergh.......................................................................................................................................................................................................um........................................................THIS IS...................................................................................................................OMPJ IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No CC.
The Hidden need your help- http://www.kidpub.com/book-page-or-chapter/hidden-chapter-one-edited-177...
Thanks! :D
D'aw, no CC…
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This is epik :3
And of sins left
For the hands of our children.
Let this little bracelet
Save a life, cut off
The bleeding for them
I really like those parts :3
but I'm right
Here abode you,
I think that's a typo... Did you mean Beside you? I dun know.
Thank you! :D
Bah. *Stabs a pitchfork into the eye of the typo(either it has a really big eye or that's a tiny pitchfork… o_o)* I meant above. :P
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*imitates GIR* what iz it? what iz it? COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ooh... Piggy! I love you cupcake...
Faved! Like bacon... and cupcakes...
The morning comes, fire blazing over the horizon, and the phoenix rises over the sn and moon.
XD
*Wonders how many people would fave a post called Bacon*
Cupcakes are evil.
Which means this is evil.
Which is awesome.
So thank ye! :DD
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I like the theme of it, only CC would be to give it a little more structure, but I'm a bit biased against freeform. The refrain gives it enough of a poetic feel already, I just think it would be better with more traditional poetry elements (i.e. rhyme, or more defined rythm, or both). Still, it's good :D
Every person's life is a fairytale written by God's fingers ~ Hans Christian Anderson
I've been trying that more lately…
(Unless your name is Yov, you may ignore that person's not so good writing. XD)
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That was amazing and really poetic! oh wait.....poems are supposed to be poetic..... POETIC FOR A POEM! Great job! =D I have no CC other than what's already been caught!
Some say the skys the limit. So tell me why there's footprints on the moon?
Thanks. ^_^
*Points to your sig* I can answer that. There aren't.
Rick Astley, black-hat guy, and I got big brooms and swept over all of the footprints.
So no footprints now.
XD
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WORDS FAIL ME O____________e
Wowzerz.
Umm...
So...
I was talking to my friend...
Click on this poem...
Read it and didn't say anything for a whole hour.
I was blown away by this EPIC piece or writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!
xD LOVE IT!!!
But… you used "Wowzerz"!
That's a word. D:
XD Thanks! *Gives you an anchor*
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:D AWESOME! I.. I... It's... Well no CC..
TEAM PERRY!!!
DANKE. :D
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That was SO EPIC!!! Loved it!!! :D
P.S. You forgot the o in wonder. But it was still epic!!!! ^_^
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Ah… I did not notice that. Thanks. ^_^
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Eeepik :-) Especially for typing it into the KP box...I've tried that before but twas so faily that I never posted :3 So kudos to you! *hands you kudos*
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened ~Dr. Suess
Sure it was. ^_^
*Hugs kudos* I will hug and squish and luv it for all eternity. :3 *Kudos dies from being crushed* D'aw. D:
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o.o
Let this little bracelet
Save a life, cut off
The bleeding for them
When it seems they're already gone...
Chilling. Beautiful. Amazing. :D
O_0 CC? Um, um, um, um....*searches for weak spots* *can't find any* Sorry. XD Uhhh...maybe focus a little more on the syallables in each line/stanza? o_o
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The planet Ectroi is waiting for you...
My train of thought around that stanza was like "FRIENDSHIP BRACELET TOURNIQUET 8DDDD" XD
Thanks. ^_^ I've been trying for that lately… Usually, my first thought for a line is either spot on or a lot longer than it should be. XD
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