in Florida
June 23rd, 2005
Alright, I've got a few pieces of advice to offer. I'm sorry you're giving up on "Innocent"; it had a lot of potential.
Out of sheer anal-retentive nature, I have to point this out first: you don't use paragraphs, and that makes the whole thing physically painful to read. If you are trying to emulate James Joyce, and toy with the language, wait a while. I've givin it a couple shots, and it never worked. Paragraphs are a must have unless your name is Virginia Woolf.
Also, watch your spelling and sentence structure, the latter more so than the former. Some times, there are only slight errors, others . . .well, there you go. One final thing: research what you write before you write it. Know your subject just enough to wing your way through a story. The ghost story idea, for example. There are a million examples of haunted hotels, (many of which are in the viscinity of New Orleans . . .hmm.)
Research some, see how the ghosts manifest, and what the effects of the hotel were.
Sorry if I seem a little harsh, but I thought I should bring this to your attention.
Denique Caelum,
Barron
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