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"21" {Excerpt} (A Short-Ish Zombie Novel)

"21" {Excerpt} (A Short-Ish Zombie Novel)

Posted December 16th, 2012 by LoganStrain

by Blue Phoenix
in the Elsweyr Region of Tamriel


A/N:  Okay, so I'm pretty proud of myself.  This is a pretty decent piece in my oppinion.  But, I really want to know; what do you think?  Please leave a comment with CC or whatever.  Bless your face!  BOOP!






            It was the voice of a little girl that rang through my head this time. 

            “Daddy, I’m scared.”

            There was an image now.  A little girl stood next to the fireplace in her home, staring up into an older man’s eyes.  He was tall, with a rugged beard and grey hairs tinting the ends of his sideburns.

            “It’s okay, Cindy.  Everything’s going to be fine.” 

            His words sounded brave, but his face didn’t match; obvious fear loomed in his hazel eyes, a frown stained his mouth.  His eyebrows curved in a unnatural state, the sort of position you could only find while staring at the weapon of death itself.

            Loud noises rang from outside of the house; groans of pain and unintelligence, and the sound of thumping against the stone confines.


            The house was dark; the only source of it came from the various candles scattered around the house.  The little girl, who was five years of age at the most, huddled herself beside the fireplace, finding no warmth at all from a non-existent fire. 

            “Daddy, where’s Momma?”

            Her father couldn’t bring himself to answer.  Instead, the sounds from outside filled the silence.

            A loud crack sounded from the front door, and the moaning came through louder now.  The little girl whimpered, and looked at her dad for comfort.  The only thing he gave her, however, was a 9 millimeter handgun.  Then he grabbed her hand and squeezed, gripped his own rifle and took several magazines full of ammunition and stuffing them into his pockets, leading her into the bathroom.  He opened the door leading to the shower and helped her in, kneeling.  Tears could be seen now, dripping down his face at an increasingly fast pace. 

            “Look at me, sweetie.  I love you.  Please understand this.  Please.”

            The groaning grew louder, and loud footsteps could be heard now as well.

            “I know, Daddy.  I love you too.”

            She took a step forward and leaned into a hug. 

            “Stay here.” He pointed at the gun. “Use this only if necessary.  Save the ammo.”

            “But Daddy, why?  What’s coming?”

            He sighed, tears streaming down his face. 

            “I don’t know exactly.  But I’m going to protect you as best as I can.  Stay here and hide until they’re gone.  I love you.”

            “No, Daddy!  Don’t leave me!”

            Her face was a mixture of sadness and panic, her voice as bluntly showing fear as it possibly could.

            “I wish I could stay.  But I have to do this.  Stay here until I come back.”

            He looked into her eyes and hugged her one last time, planting a kiss upon her forehead.  Then, he got up and left her, his rifle loaded and ready.

            That would be the last time she would ever see him again.

See more stories by Blue Phoenix
OMG, this is so sad, and at

OMG, this is so sad, and at the same time intense and suspenseful!!! I loved it and I feel sorry for the little girl D:

-Kaley :) :D :P

Read Cherrybomb's story, Choke: http://www.kidpub.com/book-page-or-chapter/burst-5-choke-1843131168

Posted by Kaley on Sun, 12/16/2012 - 22:59
D: ..... D: D: D: ~shakes



D: D: D:


~realizes what is doing~ o.o sowwy

~walks away awkwardly~


~~Calla~~ Writing is the best way to talk without being interrupted.

Posted by ~~Calla~~ on Sun, 12/16/2012 - 23:24

AAGAGGHHHHAHGGHGHHHHH! I would've had the first comment, but my internet shut off just before I could! So, yeah, here it is.


Like, that was awesome! It wasn't really long and descriptive, but you captured the emotions perfectly, so it didn't have to be. It was creepy, in a good way, and it sent chills down my spine. I wonder what happened to the poor little girl's father?

I NEED MORE! More? :3




"If you fall, I'll always be there to catch you~" The Floor

Posted by MoonstoneWings ... on Mon, 12/17/2012 - 01:52
This is so sad yet amazing

This is so sad yet amazing at the same time! I love it. No CC. I look forward to more!

Please read my new story! http://www.kidpub.com/book-page-or-chapter/my-seemingly-perfect-life-pro... and please enter my character contest! http://www.kidpub.com/book-page-or-chapter/character-contest-1734131837#...

Posted by Taylor Swift (A... on Mon, 12/17/2012 - 09:50
Why haven't I commented on

Why haven't I commented on this before?  Anyways, this was awesome, Logan  :D  I'm truly impressed. I don't have any CC

CACrules :D ~If you can't say something, write it--ME :D

Posted by Purple Indigo (CAC) on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 18:32
Loved the story write more

Loved the story write more bro because we all she's gonna die one way or another. Just saying :D

Posted by Chris on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 20:38
Pretty good, Blue, pretty

Pretty good, Blue, pretty good. X^D

You could work a little bit more on expanding your description because I can't seem to find much of it but don't use too much! :^> I love your use of sadness.

 “I don’t know exactly.  But I’m going to protect you as best as I can.  Stay here and hide until they’re gone.  I love you.”

That is so sweet, Logan. :D The best bond of sister and father ever! ^_^

I shall be following.

http://www.kidpub.com/book-page-or-chapter/memory-box-jack-frost-fan-fic-chapter-one-darkness-747132238 - Who's your Guardian?

Posted by Max on Fri, 12/21/2012 - 22:16
DDD8 D'awness. Major


D'awness. Major d'awness. Laik majehly. *takes the gun from the girl* *jumps in and goes all Jack-Sparrow-ninja on the zombies, saving the father* It's okay now. ;_;

I second everything the others have said. SAAAD D: creepeh, too, a bit.

21 is a beautiful number :3


Posted by L. S. Tredom on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 00:30
Mkay well thanks for that. I

Mkay well thanks for that.

I just had the worst zombie dream ever a few nights ago, and I'd just managed to push it out of my memory and then I read this and just...

Zombies, though.

Your writing, though.

EXCELLENT. *claps slowly* WONDERFUL. *continues to clap* BEAUTIFUL. *stops clapping* Good job, kid :DD Everyone loves a good zombie story...I love it when families are torn apart by undead people. Seriously, though, this was good, as far as zombies stories go. :DD I don't love this kind of fiction but I would read it if you wrote it, most definately. *nods with a satisfied smile*

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Posted by WolfWriter on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 23:13
Ooh this is awesome, dude!!!

Ooh this is awesome, dude!!! You did an amazing job! I can't wait to read more ^_^

Posted by NightOwl0_0 (a ... on Sat, 01/19/2013 - 20:28
omg, im

omg, im dying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT HAPPENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:?????????????? I MUST KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel so bad for the little girl. Was she taken???!!!

Posted by Kayleigh on Sun, 04/21/2013 - 15:10
Wow!!!! You used really good


You used really good description, especially concerning emotions. I is scared of what's coming. O.O

This was really good though!!! You should be proud. ^_^


~"She's not by the beautiful storm, like an eye of the world anymore. She's in the dark. She's in the light. Where did she go? She's gone."~ Raindrops~

Posted by Rour (Ellie) on Sun, 04/21/2013 - 16:04
The description was amazing.

The description was amazing. :3 Nice work!!!

Posted by Kinnley (Arin) on Sun, 04/21/2013 - 18:29
The next excerpt's out guys!

The next excerpt's out guys!  Thanks for your patience!


I Rage at Gun Game.

Posted by Novus (Blue Phoenix) on Tue, 06/11/2013 - 16:53

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