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The Adventures of Rose

The Adventures of Rose

Posted February 3rd, 2021 by Rose

by Rose
in Florida

The Letter

Hi my name is Rose. Up till my 11'th birthday I Loved Harry Potter but never really believed in the wizarding world. Then everything changed on my birthday i went to get the mail and found my very own Hogwarts letter. I couldn’t believe it i thought it had to be a prank or trick. So, I decided to take a risk and find out. I tossed the letter. A few minutes had passed when an owl flew up to me and dropped a letter once again in my hand. That was all the proof I needed. So after somehow getting my parents to pay for me to go to a boarding school in a "foreign" place I was off to Hogwarts. Luckily my parents agreed to let me go to London for a while to celebrate so I got all my stuff and passed it off as stuff to decorate my new room in school. Don't ask how the two are related I honestly do not know trust me my room at home is perfectly normal. It is painted pink and never mind that. When finally, the day arrived to go to Hogwarts my parents dropped me off on the train station with a family whose kid was also going to the same school. Once on the train the kid introduced himself his name was Gregory whisp. I was finally off to Hogwarts.


See more stories by Rose
Hi there! Let me start off

Hi there! Let me start off by saying "welcome to KidPub!" I'm Snow, at your service. You can ask me any question about this site that you like.

I see you have this story marked as "Action/Adventure." That may be true, but you're making use of Hogwarts and magic. Since those are concepts from the Harry Potter books, which are owned privately, I would recommend marking this as "Fan Fiction." Don't worry if it feels weird to mark a story as such. I have several fanfictions on this site. 

I like your story so far! On the grammar side of things, I would recommend more punctuation and separation of sentences. Especially in this sentence: Don't ask how the two are related I honestly do not know trust me my room at home is perfectly normal.

I would use: "Don't ask how the two are related. I honestly do not know. Trust me, my room at home is perfectly normal." 

You did not capitalize Gregory Whisp's last name, which is grammatically incorrect. 

On the content side of things, 

-it is extremely interesting that the Harry Potter books exist IN THE SAME UNIVERSE as Hogwarts. The books, in this case, are true. That has a lot of implications. Who wrote the books? Some wizard or squib? Does JKR exist in this universe? 

-You have so much potential for humor! This normal girl and her normal parents are suddenly contending with owls and spellbooks and wands. She seems to be living in America (you could do with actually writing her location into the story, I could be wrong. Maybe it's Canada?) But you have a habit of narrating "but never mind that" and moving on. Is your main character shy? Does she really want to be telling this story? 

-Who is she talking to? She has a very familiar tone of voice and it would be excellent if the whole story is addressed to, say, another character. 

 

That's all for now. I'm sure there's more. I'll have to leave that to others, though. 

 

Good yard,

(Warmest regards)

Snow

Posted by Tía Snow on Wed, 02/03/2021 - 17:30
I had orignally marked it as

I had orignally marked it as fan fiction but thought it might be weird

I will try better with the grammar 

As to who wrote the books well JK rowling does exist but she dosen't know that those stories are real she accidentally found hogwarts once but she was mind wiped so she thinks it's her imagination. (This won't be mentioned in the story at least i don't think so)

Rose's parents don't know shes at hog warts they think she's attending a Boarding school for very talented young girls (again this probably won't be mentioned)

I might make her tell this sory to a very special friend she'll have later i can't say who right now you'll see soon enough but she is not shy i am going to make her kind of like hermione (smart and confident in her abilities)

This charecter is actually me i'm writting about a imaginary world that i live in it's my escape from reality i want the world to see the real me but not tease me

So she's born in india raised in america just like me

 

One question do you think i should publish stories once a week like i was planning to or just as soon as i finish a chapter.

 

Magically,

Rose

Posted by Rose on Thu, 02/04/2021 - 09:24
I do love the story. it is

I do love the story. it is very nice to meet you.

________________________________________________________________________

It's not just a matter of trusting yourself but testing your abilities - Joseph Sugarman

Posted by Ryoko on Thu, 02/04/2021 - 09:39
Hi rose! Welcome. you can

Hi rose! Welcome. you can post every day if you like. I started off doing everyday then switched to once a week. It is really up to you. i love the story so far! can't wait for the next chapter. :)

Posted by Lana on Thu, 02/04/2021 - 10:06
Well i finished the next

Well i finished the next chapter i'm just waiting for a few people to start reading

i think i'll do like at least a few days gap between chapters

 

Magically,

Rose

Posted by Rose on Thu, 02/04/2021 - 16:46
Seriously, no worries about

Seriously, no worries about labelling it fanfiction! I think fanfiction is neat. 

Okay, makes sense to not mention JKR in-universe. 

About how Rose's parents don't know she's not at Hogwarts--that feels like conflict waiting to happen! You could do a lot with that. Also, there are guys at this school, which wouldn't be the case if it were a school for talented young girls. Interesting!! 

Ooh, so you'll describe yourself through this story? Cool! Self-inserts are hard to do well, but it is possible. 

You were born in India and raised in America, huh? That's really cool. I'm guessing you were really little when your family moved? Do you remember anything cool about India? 

As for how often you should post, every writer is different. I tend to avoid putting pressure on myself and just post when I have something to post, but you do you, Rose. 

Happy writing! 

 

Good yard,

(Warmest regards)

Snow

Posted by Tía Snow on Thu, 02/04/2021 - 22:17
Well her parents are a

Well her parents are a diffrent story it's really complicated who knows maybe they find out maybe they don't i haven't thought that far ahead

I visit india every summer so yeah i know a lot about my family home.

I think i'll post every once in a while and leave a longer gap after suspenful endings.

 

Magically,

Rose

Posted by Rose on Fri, 02/05/2021 - 11:49
"As to who wrote the books

"As to who wrote the books well JK rowling does exist but she dosen't know that those stories are real she accidentally found hogwarts once but she was mind wiped so she thinks it's her imagination. (This won't be mentioned in the story at least i don't think so)"

 

Nahhh you should totally go with my theory. That Harry Potter wrote it as an autobiography and sold it to muggles as fiction under the name of JK Rowling. It seems suitable and really interesting, in my opinion at least. (: 

Posted by QuartzMaster on Sun, 02/28/2021 - 01:29
"-it is extremely

"-it is extremely interesting that the Harry Potter books exist IN THE SAME UNIVERSE as Hogwarts. The books, in this case, are true. That has a lot of implications. Who wrote the books? Some wizard or squib? Does JKR exist in this universe?"

 

Here's my theory, Snow. Harry Potter actually went ahead and wrote an auto biography and sold it to muggles as fiction under the name of JK Rowling.

Posted by QuartzMaster on Sun, 02/28/2021 - 01:23
Whoa, that’s a neat

Whoa, that’s a neat idea...Is it within Harry’s character to write an autobiography though? Particularly one that long lol?? What if it’s Hermione??

Good yard,

(Warmest regards)

Snow

Posted by Tía Snow on Sun, 02/28/2021 - 12:39
Maybe Hermione, or as Harry

Maybe Hermione, or as Harry gets older, it could be within his character to do that. I don't see him doing it when he's still young, but I can picture him doing so when he's older. 

Posted by QuartzMaster on Mon, 03/01/2021 - 00:07
Hi Rose! Welcome to

Hi Rose! Welcome to KidPub!

What a great concept. I love your plot and setup, I'm just hoping for longer chapters in the future! Maybe try tell us more about how your MC feels about the situations she's in to help us get to know her personality and feelings better and make the chapters more detailed.

I'm super excited to keep reading this! I'm really looking forward to more updates soon! <3

Posted by Camryn on Wed, 02/10/2021 - 16:51
Oh ok i thought they were

Oh ok i thought they were too long as they are i will work on that

 

Magically,

Rose

Posted by Rose on Sat, 02/20/2021 - 10:35
I really don't think writing

I really don't think writing 7 books is in harry potters nature he used to complain over 2 pages of essay and he never really bragged but maybe hermione could have done it or someone else i'll think about it

 

Posted by Rose on Thu, 03/04/2021 - 13:15

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