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The Adventures of Rose part 7

The Adventures of Rose part 7

Posted March 12th, 2021 by Rose

by Rose
in Florida

Tests

Finally, the week of the exams arrived. Rose completely freaked out. In the end it turned out to be for nothing. Her first exam was on history of magic and while it wasn’t super easy it wasn’t super-duper hard either she still got a Exceeds Expectations on it. Next were her defense against the dark arts exams they actually weren’t as hard as she expected she even got an outstanding on them. After that were her potions exams, she finished those super quickly with an outstanding. Potions always had been her easiest subject even in regular school science was her best subject. Then she had to take the transfiguration test which was actually hard but she still got a exceeds expectations though. The next day was suppose to be her last exam herbology, surprisingly she wasn’t as worried about that one.  She didn’t have to worry either. She passed that one as well with a exceeds expectations. After her exams were finished, she headed to the library. She didn’t really have anything to do. Normally she would have went to find Delphi but, they had gotten into a fight the other day. Kind of. What happened was Delphi thought she’d found a way to bring back her dad and, now she was busy with that. When Rose had told her that she should be careful and not get her hope’s up Delphi had gotten a little (a lot) upset. So now Rose sat in the library wondering what to do. She was just in the middle of a very weird day dream when she saw Delphi. IN THE LIBRARY. What? Delphi never once set foot in the library, not even to study for the exams she had this week. So, Rose went over and asked what she was doing here."I'm actually looking for you," Delphi explained. It turned out that Rose had been right: the whole 'bring back Delphi's dad' plan failed and she had actually come to apologize. "I understand," Rose said. "You just wanted your dad back. There's nothing neccessarily wrong with that." Gregory, who had come to help Rose study, said, "WHAT! You're just letting it go?" Delphi retaliated with a "NONE of your business!" 'Great,' Rose thought. 'Now my two friends are fighting.'


See more stories by Rose
I love the story (again) It

I love the story (again)

It is really hard to get an "EE" though

_____________________________________________________________________

It's not just a matter of testing yourself ut testing your abilities - Joseph Sugarman

Posted by Ryoko on Fri, 03/12/2021 - 20:16
If you mean like Rose

If you mean like Rose getting exceeds expectetions you have to keep in mind she's a 1st almost 2nd year taking newts

I think i actually will be doing her summer break for the next chapter.

Also like i said Rose is a very devoted student she stayed up till 4 studying and has been studing since she was 9

 

Magically,

Rose

Posted by Rose on Fri, 03/12/2021 - 22:08
Quotation marks and

Quotation marks and indentations would make your characters' conversation much easier to follow.

What Delphi never once stepped foot in the library not even to study for the exams she had this week. So, Rose went over and asked what she was doing here and Delphi explained she was actually looking for her. Turns out Rose had been right the whole bring back her dad plan failed and she had actually come to apologize. Rose said she understood She had wanted back her dad there was nothing necessarily wrong with that. Greggory who had came to help Rose study said WHAT you’re just letting it go! Delphi retaliated with a NONE of your business! Great rose thought now my two friends are fighting.

Should be:

What? Delphi never once set foot in the library, not even to study for the exams she had this week. So, Rose went over and asked what she was doing here. 

"I'm actually looking for you," Delphi explained. It turned out that Rose had been right: the whole 'bring back Delphi's dad' plan failed and she had actually come to apologize.

"I understand," Rose said. "You just wanted your dad back. There's nothing neccessarily wrong with that."

Gregory, who had come to help Rose study, said, "WHAT! You're just letting it go?"

Delphi retaliated with a "NONE of your business!"

'Great,' Rose thought. 'Now my two friends are fighting.'

 

question: You've been writing in first person the whole time. Why shift to third person?

May I compliment you on your word choice? You're quite a good writer. When I read your stuff out loud it flows super nicely. 

but i beg you, dear child,

more punctuation

 

Good yard,

(Warmest regards)

Snow

Posted by Tía Snow on Fri, 03/19/2021 - 11:34
Thank You for the help i am

Thank You for the help i am trying

The third person was accidental the next chapter goes back to fiirst person

 

Magically,

Rose

Posted by Rose on Sun, 03/21/2021 - 14:48

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