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Cave full of secrets chap. 3

Cave full of secrets chap. 3

Posted January 23rd, 2021 by Maggs101

by Lana
in Texas

Mom frowned and said, "Now go pack your things then get to bed." Brittany and Matt nodded in union and went to their rooms. Matt did his packing then sat on his bed what was going on?, he wondered. Something was defiantly off about mom. He just couldn't put his finger on it. Matt couldn't stand not having answers so, he decided to go to Brittany's room. If anyone would have them it would be her. He got up and knocked on her door that was decorated with burple butterflys. Brittany opened the door and looked at Matt in distain. "What?", she said rolling her eyes. He looked at her with pleading eyes and said," Please, I need your help figuring it all out". Brittany chewed her lip thinking then said," Matt i know just as much as you do". Matt glared at her " So nothing", He replied. Brittany kicked him in the shin. Matt yelped in pain and stumbled backwards. Brittany smirked with satisfaction then said," look, i know mom is acting strange, but give her a break she works very hard just to put food on the table. Matt nodded and said " yeah well i still think somethings up". Brittany shrugged back carelessly then slammed the door in his face. "Teenagers", he said hoping she would hear. He listened , but heard no reply. He sighed and made his way back to his room and got under his covers. He closed his eyes , but they seemed to pop open by themselves. He huffed in frustration then sat up and switched his nightlight on. He could hear the crickets right outside his window. He got out of bed then went to look out his window. The full moon bright as a lightbulb seemed to taunt him by saying " Haha you do know anything!" Matt sighed and went back to lay under his covers. He couldn't have slept if he wanted to with all those thoughts going through his head one after another. One of the questions that kept popping in his head was he thought his Aunt was dead ,but she wasn't. How did she survive that gunshot that we thought killed her? We all thought she died getting shot. "How is that even possible?", he said out loud this time.  He thought back to himself in horror. Unless.... she faked her death all along.

See more stories by Lana
sorry again about being

sorry again about being picky!

Matt finished packing and sat on his bed what was going on?, he wondered.   how can you finish if you have not done any?   one option is...

Matt did his packing and sat on his bed.   "What was going on?" He wondered.     also some minor grammar fixes. 

the rest is very exciting! i am on pins and needles waiting for the next chapter.


It's not just a mattter of trusting yourself but testing your abilities - Joseph Sugarman

Posted by Ryoko on Sat, 01/23/2021 - 19:18
Great, Thanks! for your

Great, Thanks! for your help! 

Posted by Lana on Sat, 01/23/2021 - 23:18
I'll leave it to Ryoko and

I'll leave it to Ryoko and the others to give you grammar advice this chapter.

YO. I am liking the amount of time you spend on Matt not knowing what is going on, and I'm also liking the sibling relationship you're building between him and Brittany. She kicked him in the shin this chapter, but the context was well-developed enough that I don't doubt they care about one another. Well done! My advice? Attempt to keep their relationship consistent and don't have them bickering one moment and agreeing the next without explaining where the change came from. 

Did their Aunt fake her death? Was she shot at all? I'm reminded of Harry Potter, when his Aunt and Uncle told him he'd been orphaned and gotten his scar in a car crash. Maybe the 'being shot' story was a lie from the first. 


Good yard,

(Warmest regards)


Posted by Tía Snow on Sun, 01/24/2021 - 15:13

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