The Chaotic Senseless Story Of Randomness! (Chapter 4)
Posted April 28th, 2017 by QuartzMaster
in The Ultimates Galaxy
Here's the next chapter!!
Chapter 4: The Hip Hop Dolphin:
The dolphin was dancing to the beat as Draco and Ethan just stood silently as the animals stared at them.
“So… do we dance too or what do we do?” Draco asked Ethan.
Ohhhh… Look at that. The Randomness Moon has rose. Do you know what this means?
“Umm… No, what?” Ethan asked the author.
[RANDOMNESS HAS REACHED EVERYONE]
Suddenly, Ethan and Draco started dancing along with the dolphin.
“Yaww! Dance ta da beat y'all!” The dolphin yelled.
The dolphin then started to break dance as Ethan and Draco did the same.
“TACOS!” Draco shouted, “THEY TASTE LIKE COUCHES!!!!”
“YAAAW!” Ethan yells, “THEY SMELL LIKE TABLES!!!!”
“Wait. What’s going on? Why am I doing this?” Draco thought.
“YALL DANCE WETH ME!!!” Draco yelled.
All the animals started dancing as the music changed to dubstep music, and there was a disco ball as everyone started dancing insanely.
“Hey Author.” Draco thought.
Time to make the other moon rise, so then you can’t think normally too! Yep let’s do that!
Then another moon rose next to the regular moon. Everyone went crazy.
“YALL KNOW WHAT TIME ET IS?!!?” The dolphin yelled.
“IT’S TIME TO WRECK MY FACE!!!” Draco yelled.
“NO MY FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!” Ethan yelled, “MY FACE TASTES BETTER!”
“NU!! MY FACE TASTES BETTER!!!!!” Draco yelled back.
“NO MINE!!” Ethan yelled.
“MINE!” Draco yelled.
They then started to wrestle each other.
Yeah okay this is getting out of hand… I’m gonna teleport you back home and remove the moons.
[MOONS REMOVED… SUBJECTS TELEPORTED]
“Huh?” Draco asked.
Draco and Ethan were at Mike’s house, the pile of dirt. They couldn’t remember anything that happened before.
“Where are we?” Ethan asked.
“Uh… I think this is Mike’s house. Hey Author, why are we here?” Draco replied.
Well you’d rather be here instead of where you were earlier.
“Why? Where were we before?” Draco asked but Ethan said something before the Author could reply.
“Wait… Draco…” Ethan said.
“What?” Draco replied.
“Look.” Ethan said, pointing.
Draco looked at where Ethan was pointing, and they spotted Mike on top of the pile of dirt while eating a couch and glue stick sandwich along with Carter.
“...” Draco just stared.
“Hey! It’s Draco!” Mike exclaimed, “Draco’s my best friend by the way, Carter!”
Mike leaped down and ran to Draco while Carter sat in his spot.
“Hey! Draco let’s do our secret handshake!” Mike said.
“We don’t have a secret handshake, Mike.” Draco said.
“Really? Huh I thought we did… Anyway look at the new ingredient to my sandwich!” Mike said, showing Draco his sandwich.
“Oh a glue stick. Huh. Good for you.” Draco said.
“No, it’s a turtle shell!” Mike said.
“What are you talking about? That’s a glue stick.” Draco said showing Mike the glue stick.
“NO! THAT’S A TURTLE SHELL! CARTER TOLD ME!!” Mike said.
“Hey Ethan. Is this a turtle shell? Because they think it is.” Draco said, showing Ethan the gluestick.
“Yeah that is a turtle shell.” Ethan replied.
“No it isn’t!” Draco said. “This is a glue stick!”
But then, when Draco looked at the glue stick again, he saw a turtle shell.
“Did you change that just to make me look stupid?” Draco asked the Author.
I didn’t do anything. If I did it would show the command entered in the sky. You just have bad vision right now. *Giggles and smiles, obviously not telling the truth*
“This glue stick tastes good!” Mike said as he ate a turtle shell.
“Can I just go home now?” Draco asked the Author.
Your home disappeared though. It was eaten by a giant Unicorn.
“You know what? Then I’m just gonna leave.” Draco said before he left the pile of dirt.
[MEMORY OF DRACO THAT MADE HIM HATE THIS PLACE REMOVED]
“......” Draco was silent.
“Hey your house is just next door Draco.” Mike said, “I live here with my pile of dirt.”
“But there’s nothing there.” Draco pointed out.
“Yeah well… You know you should just ask the author to give you a house right there.” Mike said.
“I don’t know if I trust the Author considering what he’s done to me before.” Draco said. “He moved my house to an island on a hippo.”
[ETHAN AND CARTER TELEPORTED BACK HOME TO MOOVILLE]
“Hey it’s just the two of us… Again.” Mike said. “We should go to school.”
“We don’t go to school anymore. We got expelled because you ate the couch in the teacher’s lounge.” Draco said.
“We can enter a new school!” Mike said.
“No we can’t, we are wanted by the police because YOU accidentally killed an old man.” Draco said.
[REMOVE ALL NEGATIVE THINGS OTHERS KNOW ABOUT MIKE AND DRACO]
“Thanks Author! Now we can go to school again!” Mike said.
“Okay seriously it seems as if you just like making whatever I say invalid.” Draco said to the Author.
“Well let’s go to school now, Draco.” Mike said.
“Fine but on two conditions.” Draco said.
“What are those conditioners? Why not shampoo?” Mike asked.
“I said conditions. Not conditioners.” Draco said.
“Then how about shampoo?” Mike asked, “wait isn’t that some guy named Sham’s poo poo?”
“You know. I think I know why Mike got expelled from school besides eating the couch in the teacher’s lounge.” Draco said.
And do you mind, Draco, telling the readers why he got exploded? lol! JK I mean expelled?
“Well… First of all it’s because he ate the couch in the teacher’s lounge. And also because he was the craziest, randomest most insane person. Or to sum it up… He was a FRICKIN idiot.” Draco explained.
Mike looked confused.
“What is an idiot?” Mike asked.
“Someone who eats couches.” Draco replied.
“Oh so I am an idiot?” Mike asked, his eyes widening as he smiled.
“Yes. Yes you are. You are an idiot.” Draco said, his hand on Mike’s shoulders.
“What?” Mike asked.
Nnnnnootthin… But by the way, do you want to meet my editor? He edits my writing, you want to meet him?
Hello! I am Michael, Osaid’s friend and Editor!
“Wait… What’s an editor?” Mike asked.
An Editor is a person who is in charge of and determines the final content of a text, particularly a newspaper or magazine. But it also applies for a book as well.
“Wut?” Mike asks.
“You didn’t spell ‘What?’ Right Osaid, when you wrote that.
“What is ‘spell’?” Mike asked.
Spelling is what we say when describing how we write som-
“Don’t bother explaining it to him. He’s an idiot.” Draco informed the Editor.
“Yeah! I’m an idiot!” Mike said. “Because you see… Idiots eat couches!”
Actually an idiot is someone who is stupid or mentally handicapped.
“NO! You are wrong Editor! Draco is the one who is right!! Idiots are people who eat couches! LIKE ME!” Mike yelled.
“Actually an idiot is both what I said and what the Editor said.” Draco said.
“Then I am ¼ an idiot, and ½ of ? of an idiot.” Mike said.
“So you're a 100/1 of an idiot.” Draco said.
“No actually 1,000,000/-12,321,312 of an idiot I think…” Mike said, not sure.
“I think that’s about right.” Draco said while nodding.
Yeah anyway go on. You have school. Okay I am teleporting you to your first class.
[SUBJECTS SUCCESSFULLY TELEPORTED]
Mike found himself in a classroom, sitting down with a lot of other kids. Draco was sitting next to Mike.
“Okay, Mike, you can not, no matter what EAT THE FRICKIN’ COUCH IN THE TEACHERS LOUNGE!! In fact. You can’t eat couches at school at all! That means no couch sandwiches, couch hot dogs, couch pies, couch anything.” Draco whispered to Mike.
“I won’t!! Unless I’m hungry…” Mike replied.
“Not even if you're hungry, Mike.” Draco whispered aggressively.
“Settle down now class!” The teacher said, walking into the classroom.
Everyone was silent. The teacher looked at his attendance list.
“Okay I will now call your name, and you will say here. Simple as that.” the teacher said.
The teacher called names until they got to Draco and Mike.
“Draco.” The teacher said.
“Here.” Draco replied.
“Mike.” The teacher said.
“COUCHES!” Mike yelled.
The teacher and all the students stared at Mike.
“COUCHES FOR LUNCH!” Mike yelled.
Then all the students except for the teacher and Draco laughed. Draco face palmed before slouching in his seat, trying to become hidden from the other students.
“YEAH!” Mike yelled, looking at Draco who tried to hide himself, “by the way guys, Draco is my BESTEST friend in the whole world!!!”
Everyone now was looking at Draco.
“I don’t know what he is talking about. I have no idea who he is and he is a stranger to me.” Draco said.
“He’s telling the lyth! He was my best friend ever since 100st grade!” Mike said.
What are you talking about mike? There is no such thing as 100st grade or rather 100th grade. Anyway is Draco telling a truth or a lie?
“Alright settle down now class.” The teacher said, “now… we are going to take a pretest to see what you know. Who would like to pass them out?”
“OH! ME! ME ME ME!!” Mike yelled.
The teacher handed Mike the papers, and Mike started to pass them out to people. He then passed them all out and returned to his seat.
“You may begin. Turn it in at the front desk when you are finished.” The teacher said.
Mike suddenly took out a pencil. He looked at the first problem.
“ARGH! WHAT IS THE QUESTION TO NUMBER ONE!?” Mike exclaimed.
“Please be quiet in class, Mike. You are distracting your peers.” The teacher said.
“YOUR FACE IS DISTRACTING THE PEERS!!” a voice at the front door said.
Everyone looked over and saw a fish, standing on it’s tail.
“E-excuse me?” The teacher asked.
“I said… YOUR FACE IS DISTRACTING THE PEERS!!” The fish repeated.
The teacher put on his glasses. His eyes widened when he saw the fish.
“Hey fish that roasts people!” Mike called out, “you never told us your name!”
“Oh didn’t I?” questioned the fish, “well it’s Dora.”
Everyone was staring at Dora, who was a fish standing on it’s tail right at the door of the classroom.
“So Dora. Why are you here? Do you just like following us or something?” Draco asked.
Dora suddenly jumped onto the teacher's desk.
“I DECLARE WAR!!!!” Dora yelled.
“War on who?” Draco asked.
“WAR ON YOUR FACE!!!!!!!” shouted Dora.
“Why?” Draco asked.
“NO ONE QUESTIONS TO DORA!!!!!!” shouted Dora.
“Well I appear to have done just that.” Draco replied.
“Welp, I guess I should go now. The teacher looks mad.” Dora said.
The air around the teacher was thickening. His eyes were turning green too.
“YAAAAAAARRRGGGGH!!!!!” the teacher yelled, as his hair turned golden and went all upwards.
“Uh oh…” Dora said, “gotta really go now… The teacher just went super saiyan.”
“And who’s fault is that?” Draco asked.
Dora started to run away, and the teacher shot a kamehameha at him, but he was already out of the room before it hit him.
Then the teacher calmed down and returned to normal.
“Hey Teacher, I have something to say.” Mike said.
“Alright then say it.” The teacher replied.
“I like couches.”
Draco face palmed.
“But I like some other things too. I figured out that my favorite food is furniture.” Mike said.
Then a student got up onto his feet.
“I also have something to say!” the student yelled. “I, as a matter of fact, also like couches!”
Suddenly, the student turned into Mike! He looked exactly like Mike. But then…
The bell rang, and it was time for lunch…
“Come on Draco! Let’s go eat lunch!” Mike exclaimed, pulling Draco out of the door.
“Remember. No couch food or furniture food of any kind!” Draco said.
“What? That’s food though!” Mike said as he and Draco entered the cafeteria.
“Well you’ll just have to eat normal food today. You remember the deal we made earlier.” Draco said.
“Oh. Right… Well I didn’t bring my home lunch so… I’m going to have to eat from school.” Mike said, as he and Draco got in line inside the kitchen.
“That's even better.” Draco said as they reached the lunch selection.
The lunch lady looked at them.
“Would you like a couch sandwich or a chair sandwich?” The lunch lady asked.
“COUCH!” Mike yelled.
“Would you like glue sticks along with it?” The lunch lady asked.
“YES!” Mike yelled.
Then the lunch lady gave Mike a couch sandwich with glue sticks. Then it was Draco’s turn.
“I’m not hungry today. Sorry.” Draco said before he walked over and sat next to Mike at a table.
Mike started gobbling his sandwich. Draco watched him do it, nervously. Soon Mike finished his sandwich.
“MORE!” Mike yelled, while drooling, “I WANT MORE!!!”
“Mike, you CAN’T have more. It’s not allowed.” Draco said.
“B-but… I’m still hungry…” Mike said, with puppy eyes, “can you go in line and get one for me?”
“NO.” Draco said.
“PLEASE?!” Mike asked.
“NO.” Draco repeated.
“PLEASE!?” Mike asked again.
“NO.” Draco said again.
Then, the lunch lady walked up to Mike, with a big plate. On that plate was a steaming hot pikachu with a apple in it’s mouth.
“Hey Mike, you are awarded with this pikachu.” The lunch lady said, placing the plate in front of Mike.
“Oh yum!” Mike said.
Mike then started to eat the pikachu, and Draco could see it’s bones.
“... I need to go to the bathroom.” Draco said before he quickly ran out of the cafeteria with his hands over his mouth.
“This pikachu is good!” Mike yelled.
On the plate, there was nothing left… Only the bones of the pikachu.
“Oh man! I’m stuffed!” Mike exclaimed, “hey where did Draco go?”
To the bathroom!
“Hey Draco!” Mike yelled, running into the bathroom.
The bathroom was empty. But… Draco was inside a stall, barfing in the toilet. Mike walked up to the stall.
“Are you okay, Draco?” Mike asked, knocking on the stall.
“Ugh… No not really… *BLARGH!*” Draco said before he started barfing again.
“Well you should’ve tried that pikachu. It tasted like chicken!” Mike said, “but with a bit of a shocking taste along with it for some reason…”
“That’s the reason I’m I here barfing. Because of the Pikachu! *BLARGH!*” Draco said before he threw up again.
“Well I want to eat something else for dessert… I should try the bulbasaur on the menu!” Mike said.
“Oh no… Here comes mor- *BLARGH!*” Draco started to say before he barfed yet again.
“Guess what? The inside of the pikachu was filled with worms!” Mike exclaimed.
“Is that supposed to be a good th- *BLARGH!*” Draco started to say before his puke cut him off again.
“Yeah it’s a very good thing!” Mike said.
Alright, time for another teleportation!
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