The Chaotic Senseless Story Of Randomness! (Chapter 9)
Posted November 5th, 2017 by QuartzMaster
in The Ultimates Galaxy
HERE IT IS!
Chapter 9: THE MAD CHASE:
Mike stared down at the pile of couches on top of Carsten, who was struggling to free himself.
“EAT. THE. COUCHES.” Draco told Mike.
Mike then jumped into the hole, and began to eat the couches. After he had eaten five, he said to Draco, “happy?”
“Depends. Is Carsten okay and able to escape?” Draco asked.
“Not yet, let me speed up the progress…” Mike then began to eat couches rapidly.
A few moments later, all the couches were gone, and the pit was empty.
“Okay, now where’s Carsten?” Draco asked.
“Uh oh.” Mike said. “I think… I think I accidently ate him.”
“YOU WHAT?!” Draco exclaimed.
“I ate him.” Mike repeated. “But I can probably spit him back out… Or barf him, or whatever.”
“Try that, I guess...” Draco said in disgust.
Mike then goes over to Draco and sniffed him.
“Why are you sniffing me?” Draco asked.
“Because maybe then, I could barf because you stink. For some reason you smell like… like… sheep barf, mustard, liquid poison ivy, lemons, and hot sauce.” Mike said, sniffing Draco.
“Wait really?” Draco asked, sniffing himself, “OH GOSH I SMELL DISGUSTING! BLARGH!”
“Told ya.” said Mike.
“Hey I didn’t doubt you, so don’t say ‘Told ya.’ anyway hurry up and barf Carsten out already.” Draco said.
Mike took a big sniff.
He then suddenly barfed Carsten out.
“Okay. Now I’m gonna go take a shower.” Draco said, heading back into the house.
“Take Carsten, let him take a shower first.” Mike said, shoving Carsten into Draco.
“Ugh. Fine, I have two bathrooms anyway.” Draco said taking Carsten inside.
Mike waited outside. But then, he got a bright idea. He went over to the water pump in Draco’s house, and replaced the water with bleach.
“This way Carsten and Draco will smell good!” Mike exclaimed, going over to the bathroom that Draco was in.
“WHY IS THERE BLEACH INSTEAD OF WATER?! THIS IS AWFUL!!!” Both of them screamed in pain.
“Wow! They love it! They will thank me when they get out!” Mike exclaimed, both Draco and Carsten could hear him.
“MIKE YOU SUUUUUCK!!!” They both yelled. “AAHHH!!! IT BURNS!”
“What does ‘suuuuuck’ mean?” Mike asked.
“IT MEANS WE HATE YOU FOR PUTTING BLEACH INSTEAD OF WATER!!!!” Draco yelled.
“What does ‘hate’ mean? My teacher in school said it was a bad word.” Mike said.
“THAT’S BECAUSE IT MEANS WE THINK YOU'RE A BAD PERSON!” Carsten yelled.
“You’re a bad person?” Mike asked.
“NO MIKE! YOU ARE A BAD PERSON!” They both yelled.
“No, I’m a terrible person! There’s a difference!” Mike argued.
Actually Mike the words Terrible and Bad mean almost the exact same thing.
“I just google it.” Mike said, on a computer, “Bad means, ‘arousing revulsion or strong indignation’ and a terrible person means ‘someone who eats couches’ and idiot is a synonym to that!”
Mike. That’s Ossaif’s computer. Everything on it is wrong Or derpy!
“What is the Author’s Clone’s computer doing in Draco’s house?” Mike asked.
“I DON’T KNOW!” Draco yelled.
“WHY ARE WE YELLING AGAIN?!” Carsten shouted.
“I DON’T REMEMBER!!!” Draco shouted back.
“I think it was because I changed the water into bleach.” Mike said.
“Oh yeah. GET MIKE!” Draco yelled as he and Carsten both appeared and captured Mike in a nacho sombrero net.
“Oh hey!” Mike said, seeing a nacho sombrero hat with salsa.
He then threw it, IT THEN CAME BACK LIKE A BOOMERANG!
It didn’t hit him. It hit Carsten and Draco, and now they were covered with salsa.
“Oh hey!” Mike exclaimed, “you guys are bleeding!”
“THAT’S IT! I’M GETTING HIM!” Draco yelled before he tackled Mike.
Suddenly, Mike farted.
Dude. That’s nasty! What’s wrong with you?!
“*SNIFF* *SNIFF*” Carsten and Draco sniffed the air before closing their noses, “YUCK!”
It was the scent of normal farts mixed with the scent of couches.
“OH YEESH THAT’S DISGUSTING!” Draco said, holding his nose shut harder than before.
“*COUGH* *COUGH* I think I’m gonna die…” Carsten struggled to stand and breath.
“Uh oh.” Mike said, realizing that Carsten and Draco were mad. “I better run!”
“HE’S TRYING TO GET AWAY! *COUGH!*” Draco exclaimed, getting up.
Mike stood up and ran down Draco’s hallway, as Draco and Carsten chased after him. Then, Mike jumped out of the window and into the big pit from before.
“GET BACK HERE!!!” Draco yelled leaping down after him.
As the author spoke to his editor, Draco and Carsten leaped out of the window to chase Mike.
How long has it been since we turned on the randomness moon again?
A long time.
SHould we turn it on? >=D
[RANDOM MOON HAS AWOKEN]
“THSTAY AWAY!” Mike shouted.
“NEVER!!! GIVE MEH BAK MEH TRUMPET STONE APPLE YOU SON OF A BOOGER MOUSE!” Draco yelled back, punching Mike.
“AAAWWWWWWWOOO.” Mike shouted in pain, “CARTHTEN! HALP MEHHH!”
“NUUUUUUUUU!!!!! U STOLE MEH SAXOPHONE ROCK BANANA!” Carsten yelled, kicking Mike.
“WEL YOU TWO STOLE MAH BEETROOT!” said a voice from behind.
“*GASP!* IT’S YOU!!” Draco exclaimed, turning around only to face… Ryan, the one who challenged him before to see who gets their head deeper into a toaster.
“RYAN! TRUCE!” Mike yelled.
“BEETROOT YA!” Ryan shouted.
Now Mike and Ryan were standing in front of Draco and Carsten.
“YOU THINK U CAN BEAT US?! TAKE THIZ!” Draco yelled, stuffing his head into a toaster before ramming Mike in the stomach.
“OOF!” Mike said, before his hair suddenly turned golden, and his eyes turned green. “I WILL BEET YOU!”
Mike then took out a chair, and hit Draco with it. “ROCK SMASH! I CHOOSE YOU!”
“GRRRR!!!!!” Draco said, changing his hair and eyes like Mike before hitting him with another toaster, “ROCK SMASH! I CHOOSE YOU MORE!!!!”
“OOOOWWWY!” Mike exclaimed. “TAKE THIS! BANANA KICK!”
Mike then grew bananas on his legs and then kicked Draco in the stomach.
“*GASP* I KNEW YOU STOLE MEH BANANAS!!” Carsten yelled, his hair and eyes changing as well before he slapped Mike a hundred times.
“OOW!” Mike said.
Ryan then was surrounded by a red aura. “BETROOT RAIN!”
It suddenly began to rain beetroots.
Oh My Gosh this is amazing! XD XD XD XD XD
“YAAAAA!!!” Ryan then began to charge a red beam in between his hands, “RAAAAA… MEEEEE… GAAAA… MEEEE…. GAAAAA!!!”
A giant red beam then hits Draco and Carsten.
“TOASTER CANNON GOOOOO!!!!” Draco then yelled shooting a cyan beam, hitting Ryan right in the face!
OH SNAP! HEADSHOT! *Air horn sounds*
“GAH! DEY R TOO POWERFUL!” Ryan shouted, “RETREET!”
He and Mike ran towards a portal behind them.
“GEEEETTT DEEEMMM!!!!” Draco exclaimed as he and Carsten followed.
“GIVE US BACK OUR INSTRUMENT/ROCK/FRUUIIITTT!!!!” Carsten exclaimed.
Ryan and Mike then leaped into a portal, followed by Carsten and Draco. They were then in a giant house, with floor as lava.
“DA FLOOR IS LAVA!” Mike shouted as he and Ryan parkoured away from Carsten and Draco.
“NUU! I SUMMON THE SUPER EPIC AWESOME FLYING PI OF DUUM TO HALP US!!!” Draco yelled as a giant winged pie with horns and epic sunglasses appeared, and they rode it after them.
“AHHH!” Mike shouted, “SUPER ULTRA FIGHTING EATER!”
Mike then ate the giant pie with horns and epic sunglasses.
“*GASP!* HOW COULD YOU?!” Carsten exclaimed. “SUPER BANANA MAN! ATAAAAAAACK!”
“YAYAAAAAA!!!” Mike was then floating in the air.
The air around him grew thick, and suddenly, he transformed. His hair was now blue.
“RANDO TRANSFORMATION!” Mike (Rando) shouted. “ECO MIRROR OF PURPLE CHEESE DOOOOM!”
“I can do dat too! Ysbsihwnsjebsjsbdbs!” Draco then yelled in gibberish before his hair turned blue as well.
“CAN U ASPLODE?!” Rando (Mike) exclaimed, exploding the house. “1110110111001001001010010011010101000100100110101001000101001010111010010101001001010100101 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH CHEESE BONT bfiueo hfqiu YOU WILL PURPLE FLAGPOLE 10101010010!!!!!!!!!”
Rando (Mike) then took a giant purple flagpole and hit Carsten and Draco as if he were playing whack a mole.
“YOUR BRAINY FARTS ARE FROZEN! MY REVENGE ON YOUR MOTHER WILL HAVE CHEESE LINED BOXES!!!!!!” Rando (Mike) exclaimed.
“YA! YOU GO GIRL!” Ryan cheered.
“YOU THINK THAT IS ENOUGH TO BEAT MEH?! WPEIFHREIUVHOQUWEFBIUWEFHBUJWEBIWJEFUBIWUEUFBHOW;;1626583260142479813!!!” Draco yelled before he punched Rando (Mike) a bajillingintillion times.
“IF I GO DOWN I’M EATING YOUR KAIJU!” Rando (Mike) said, eating Draco and Carsten, before turning into a kaiju and crushing the town, after which he barfed Draco back up and Carsten as well and then he stepped on then a bajillingintillion more times than Draco punched him, and then he turned Carsten into a box and Draco into a kitten therefore he put Draco into Carsten.
“THIS CARSTENBOX CANNOT CONTAIN ME!!!!!!” Draco yelled, bursting out of the Carsten box before turning into a giant toaster robot and blasted Rando (Mike) with beifbgiruebvierubilliongintillion toaster beams.
“MISTER PRUPLE RIOGHT ARTHUR! SWAP IT BACK TO NORMS RANDONKALLY OR I WILL 010001010101010001010-1010010101001010100101-1010100101010010100101-10101001010010101010-10110010101010-10101010-101010101010011-010101010-110101010-1011-010101010010101010 YA GOT DAT?!” Rando (Mike) exclaimed, as he turned Draco back into a flea and then turning Carsten back to a human and putting Draco on Carsten then putting them in a box then putting that box in a bigger box then mailing that box to himself then smashing the box with a muffin-hammer.
“THAT’S IT! I SHALL NOW TURN INTO MEH ULTRMATE FORM!
50 49 45 20 49 53 20 59 55 4d 4d 59 20 49 4e 20 4d 45 48 20 54 55 4d 4d 59 21 50 49 45 20 49 53 20 59 55 4d 4d 59 20 49 4e 20 4d 45 48 20 54 55 4d 4d 59 21 50 49 45 20 49 53 20 59 55 4d 4d 59 20 49 4e 20 4d 45 48 20 54 55 4d 4d 59 21 50 49 45 20 49 53 20 59 55 4d 4d 59 20 49 4e 20 4d 45 48 20 54 55 4d 4d 59 21 50 49 45 20 49 53 20 59 55 4d 4d 59 20 49 4e 20 4d 45 48 20 54 55 4d 4d 59 21 50 49 45 20 49 53 20 59 55 4d 4d 59 20 49 4e 20 4d 45 48 20 54 55 4d 4d 59 21!!!!”
Draco then turned into the immortal toaster warrior and he and Rando (Mike) began to have an epic battle!
Is it just me, or are things getting out of hand, editor?
“WAIT!” Rando (Mike) exclaimed. “Perma hear?! PLEZ I LIEK UR FACE OF GLORYUS FLAGPOLES!”
“IT IS TOO LATE FOR THAT NAOW!!!” Draco yelled as he then blasted Rando (Mike) with the largest toaster beam to ever toaster beam!
Hello? Editor? You there?
Hmm? What is it?
“EVERYBODY DO DA FLOP!” Carsten suddenly yelled, as he did the ‘flop’.
Rando (Mike) the Kaiju flopped down and crushed Draco and Carsten, also doing the flop.
“NUU! I CAN NOT BE DEFEATED! I SHALL USE MEH POWER UP CHANT! 50 49 45 20 49 53 20 59 55 4d 4d 59 20 49 4e 20 4d 45 48 20 54 55 4d 4d 59 21 50 49 45 20 49 53 20 59 55 4d 4d 59 20 49 4e 20 4d 45 48 20 54 55 4d 4d 59 21 50 49 45 20 49 53 20 59 55 4d 4d 59 20 49 4e 20 4d 45 48 20 54 55 4d 4d 59 21 50 49 45 20 49 53 20 59 55 4d 4d 59 20 49 4e 20 4d 45 48 20 54 55 4d 4d 59 21 50 49 45 20 49 53 20 59 55 4d 4d 59 20 49 4e 20 4d 45 48 20 54 55 4d 4d 59 21 50 49 45 20 49 53 20 59 55 4d 4d 59 20 49 4e 20 4d 45 48 20 54 55 4d 4d 59 21!”
Draco then threw Rando (Mike) away.
Rando (Mike) then knocked Draco away so the editor and writer could talk.
Okay, NOW, I think it’s time to calm things down a bit…
Ya think? The fabric of the story is Dissolving!
“WAIT DO I GET TEH STAY?!” Rando (Mike) asked.
No, because you are too powerful, you’re breaking the fabrics of this story dimension! You’re one of the Random Masters! Mike somehow transformed into you.
“BUHTT I CANS SHLOW DOWN!” Rando (Mike) exclaimed, turning back into Mike (Rando Form) “PLEAS GIV MEH A CHANCE! I NAVRE GET TO FLAGPOLE NAYTHIN NO MOAR!”
No. YOU ARE TO STRONG! WE MUST get rid of you while we still have the chance! Or else everything will be destroyed!
“Fine. I vill ve back latier doh, dis was fun humans.” Rando (Mike) said, dispelling himself back to just Mike.
Okay Osaid now reboot the system and flip the switch off!
There… It’s off.
Why do we even have that switch again? It just seems to destroy the world more and more each time we turn it on. We should just get rid of it.
Alright. I think we should also get another editor or whatever, so things are more under control.
Good Idea! In fact I think I have just the guy for the job! PATRICK! GET IN HERE!!
I’m here already. Osaid added me just now.
Huh. nvm. Anyway! What should we do now? Everything is just a void rn.
I have an idea, if you like.
And that would be . . .?
It’s simply a white field for our subjects to be in.
That sounds pretty creepy. And also very boring for them, we need a bit more then that. Don’t you agree osaid? . . . Osaid?
Keep talking, Patrick.
What? What do you mean?
What else do you have as an idea?
Well there’s an underground testing facility, and an office for a spider monkey, and a cheese factory and a giant pie.
Hmm… That would ruin the fun though… Let’s keep it the way it is.
And by that you mean restore it to how it was before . . . right?
Yes, with a couple of updates too.
Ohhh . . . New Updates! Very fancy! :]
Okay. It’s ready.
Now we just need to bring everyone back! Just a sec!
You will see the new story in the next chapter!
See more stories by QuartzMaster