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Chapter VI

Chapter VI

Posted November 5th, 2019 by DreamDragon13

by Katherine
in Nevada

To my surprise, she didn't do anything, just turned around and continued fighting. I understood when I felt Sparky tap my back, sending a shock up my back and making me see black. The shadows hissed and retreated, back into my scar.

I woke up tied to a chair. Boss was standing in front of me. "I've decided that you're too much of a hassle to control. I'm either going to use you for a hostage and kill you later, or kill you now." He pulled a knife out. "And I think I know which one I choose." I struggled against the bonds, and got more of my energy. Somehow he had woven the gem into it. I stopped struggling, hoping in vain I would saved. Or, not really. 

There was a drumming on the steel door of the room. Bosse turned around and cursed under his breath. The door broke down, and revealed Guardian, who had apparently been relying on his brute force to kick the door down. "Step. Away. From. Her." he hissed. Boss shook his head. Guardian charged, only to be knocked to the floor with Boss's kick. But Jade Archer had already hid in the back of the room, managing not to be seen. Guardian got up, and attacked again as Shifter transformed into a lion and tried to help. Princess was probably at the school, handling damage control. While Boss was occupied, Jade sliced my bonds. I felt faint. She tucked them into her pocket and picked me up bridal style. She ran out the door, and Boss howled in range as the others followed. I felt the world start to slip away.

"Shh. It's okay, you can sleep. You'll be somewhere safe by the time you wake up."

And I still have to thank her that she was right.

See more stories by Katherine
I hope we find out who "she"

I hope we find out who "she" was in chapter 5! Overall, I think you have a very interesting premise, and there aren't too many characters to get confused either, which is good. One tip I have is that I think it's progressing a little too quickly at the moment, because you are at chapter 6 and already there have been two big fights. Sometimes it's good to add some mundane moments in between, to let the readers get to know the characters a little better, who they are, how they think, and what their personalities are like... etc.

Overall, I think it's a great start to your novel! I don't know your age, but this seems really well polished regardless, especially for most Kp newcomers. Keep up the good work!

Posted by echo (*Jill*) on Sun, 11/10/2019 - 03:29

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