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The City (Prologue)

The City (Prologue)

Posted June 2nd, 2011 by LizzieS

by Lizzie
in a world of my own

Note: CC please??? I think this ends way to quickly... any ideas how I can make it better?

           Also, it takes place in the future, if you can't tell by reading this.

       It is known as the City. Yes, it had once bore a formal name, but by now no one knows nor cares whether it had been New York, Philadelphia, San Francisco, or even the Emerald City. Nevertheless, the City needs no title, as there is no way to mistake it for any other. 

       One could compare the City to a ship that had sailed over two hundred years before by the name of the Titanic. Both beauties had been crafted to perfection, and any passerby had to stop and stare for hours on end. But while the Titanic had sunk to the murky depths of the Atlantic, the City had prospered and thrived. What had once been a small town grew into the magnificent City of today.

       About twenty years after the City had blossomed, the disappearances began occurring.

       In numerous towns and farms outside the City, inhabitants have vanished overnight. The elderly, infants, married couples – you name it, they go missing. No one could explain the phenomenon. That’s when a fellow named Dormon Santo pointed fingers at the City. He claimed the City’s government had been kidnapping the innocent citizens.

       A few days later, Dormon Santo was discovered dead at the bottom of a river. There was no funeral service.

       The so –called kidnappings continued, the number of missing persons multiplying at an alarming rate. The evidence against the City’s government is alarming, and hidden from the public. No one dares accuse the City, though. No one dares face the consequences of messing with Them. 


Word Count: 256

See more stories by Lizzie
Caution. I'm honest.  Let's

Caution. I'm honest. 

Let's start of with sympathy. Goodness, gracious, how can this not have any comments? That's a little illogical. I've been wanting to comment on this for a while, but I haven't gotten the time, but right now I do, so let's get this started. 

Well, this is seriously nothing that I have ever heard before. Very well. That's what I like--originality. And no, don't worry, it may be short, but it leaves you with curiosity. How many cities do you know that kidnap their own people? Are they kidnapping their own people? Or is it being framed? (: 
I look forward to reading it. 

My CC is either long or short--depends on the length of the written text. 

Great job! 
I'll keep reading. (: 



Let it be. 


Posted by Scriiibles on Fri, 06/03/2011 - 21:03
:O  This is incredible! It

:O  This is incredible! It definately leaves me wanting to read the whole thing!

I agree with Scriibles too. How does this not have any comments???????? Wake up people!


Smile. It'll make people wonder what you're up to. :0)

Posted by Izelle on Sat, 07/02/2011 - 17:02
Me again! Holy Cheese! 190

Me again! Holy Cheese! 190 reads and only two comments!? I comment any time I read something, mainly because I like to make people happy, also because back when i started that was a HUGE deal. Anyhow . . . . LOVE THIS!! I'm off to hurry and read more!!




In my dreams I dream of flying, In reality I chase that dream with a horse

Posted by Maiven on Sat, 08/13/2011 - 16:07
Woah. That's real intense!

Woah. That's real intense! It intruiges me! :D Good job!

(By the way, when are you going to post the results of your cover contest?)

And you DARE wonder how Melanie is America's favorite dancer? :P http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czcpQyI-MH8

Posted by Lady Alien Pokey on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 15:47
Here's that one comment I

Here's that one comment I promised you.

So, this story's ok. Not exactly my cup of tea, a little creepy, but if you like it, then I support you all the way. After all, I'm not the author, you are.

Posted by Jennifer on Sat, 09/24/2011 - 15:00

I WANNA READ MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Ask me again...exactly what's wrong with me?! Ya' will nevah KNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! *kidnaps someone, CHEESESESESESESE!!!!!* Pokey, even though you're my cousin...it's still on.

Posted by Ray on Thu, 03/29/2012 - 17:30
I love this

I love this !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DO you want to like do a swap I'll read one of your stories comment and with cc and you do the sme with mine?????


Posted by Avery on Sat, 05/19/2012 - 15:32
Sure! Can you read the rest

Sure! Can you read the rest of The City? What do you want me to read? ;D


*~ Over and Out ~*

- Lizzie! -

Posted by Magical Narwhal... on Sat, 05/19/2012 - 17:12
I love

I love it!!!!! 


"Remember those Spider-Man popsicles with the gumballs? I wish I had one of your face so I could chew your eyes out." http://operahousegirl.tumblr.com/

Posted by True Story (Hannah) on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 13:07
Here's my part of the swap!

Here's my part of the swap! xD

Okay. That was awesome. :D You dragged me right in with the description, and I think it's the perfect length, Some CC would be that it seems a bit cliche, with the dystiopian city that seems like a utopia. But I could be wrong, since this is just the prologue.

Great job! :D (I have to go now, so I'll comment on the other chapters later.)

Posted by camikat on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 16:00
Intense and

Intense and intruiging. 


This is the edge. :D

Posted by Epicness (Laura) on Wed, 07/25/2012 - 20:41
How could I not have read

How could I not have read this. ;-; 

My god, girl, do you know how good a writer you are? This is a captiviating start to what I am 143% certain is going to be a fantastic book--one which I will certainly begin reading. 

No CC. :3 Do you know how rare it is for me to not be able to give CC? Extremely. :D

Posted by CT, That Awkwar... on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 12:06
Hello! Well, i shall go

Hello! Well, i shall go through with your swap! yayayayay!

This is very suspenseful. I like how the disappering is happening..... cannot wait for more!

Check out my mystery and horror contest!! Epical prizes!! http://www.kidpub.com/book-page-or-chapter/mystery-and-horror-contest-pl...

Posted by Confuzzled on Fri, 08/03/2012 - 08:02
Though It Is a bIt short,

Though It Is a bIt short, It's very IntreguIng, and gI es a good amount of InformatIon. I lIked fhe way you wrof e thIs, It's well crafted :) (I don't know why spel check Is shIftIng the I's -_-)

Biblioangst: the condition of not being able to find any good reading material.

Posted by The (APO) :3 on Sat, 10/13/2012 - 09:41
Woah... what on earth

Woah... what on earth happened to your comment!?



My awesome sig! And check out my stuff:

Multi-Contest - http://www.kidpub.com/book-page-or-chapter/multi-contest-prizes-20811298...

Untitled Story - http://www.kidpub.com/book-page-or-chapter/untitled-story-prolouge-20811...

Posted by Lydia on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 21:43

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