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Clashing Swords - Chap. 1

Clashing Swords - Chap. 1

Posted December 23rd, 2020 by Olivinat

by Ryoko
in the Middle of Nowhere (Wisconsin)

        “Can you tell me what happened?” asked Officer Maximus

        “Well…” Sam started, “It all started when my two sisters, Sara and Zoe, and my brother, Luke, and I were walking to our Grandma’s house. Luke said he heard something. Sara told him to go check it out and he went into the brush. We waited for him for ten minutes. After fifteen minute had passed, Zoe started to get worried. We walked off to find Luke. We looked for hours, but we couldn’t find him. Sara was in tears, Zoe and I were freaking out. We went home and told mom. We told her what had happened. She called dad, then the police.

        Soon Officer Sacramento, the lead detective, came to our house. He asked hard questions. He also told us that there had been an increased amount of disappearances happening lately. He told us that a boy named Mark Haritos had been missing for weeks.

        After the visit. We felt discouraged. Sara was in tears because she said it was her fault that Luke was gone. She had told him to find out what the noise was. That is when we realized that we had forgotten the noise.

         Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. It was Officer Sacramento. He told us that Luke’s body had been found. Lifeless. We were heart-broken, but we vowed to get revenge if it was the last thing we did.”

        “Later when Zoe’s friend, Emma, came over to our house she reported that Mark Haritos, her brother, had been missing for four weeks. They were sure he was died.

        After Emma had left, Sara walked up and said, “So many people are missing. I want to find out what is going on! Who is with me?”

        We all quickly agreed and we went around the house to find gear. We came back together with flashlights, and water. We left as soon as I wrote mom and dad a note. We walked to where we had last seen Luke. We searched and searched. That’s when Zoe had an idea.

        She said, “What if we each wear a camera and split up? We might get more.”

        We agreed, got cameras, and split up. Suddenly Zoe screamed. We ran to where she was. She was gone. We went home and looked at her camera. It showed her walking and then falling into a hole! We ran back to where we last saw her and started to dig. We dug for fifteen minutes until we came up on a pipe.

        “Well, tada!” I said, “You want to go first?”

        “No thanks,” Sara said.


        With that I jumped into the hole.

See more stories by Ryoko
One chapter and I've already

One chapter and I've already gotten an interrogation, a story-within-a-story, a murder, and a vendetta. Man this is action-packed!

My advice? Describe the interrogation room at the beginning, just because the story starts super abruptly. I'd also like more character description, if you can spare the time. 

Poor Sam, is all I have to say 


Good yard,

(Warmest regards)


Posted by Tía Snow on Fri, 01/22/2021 - 20:15

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