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Hayleigh (Working Title) | Heavily Reworked | Prologue

Hayleigh (Working Title) | Heavily Reworked | Prologue

Posted May 7th, 2018 by HannahChen2009

HannahChen2009's picture
by echo (*Jill*)
in magination

a/n: hello all. Hayleigh is a completed novella that I worked on for school roughly three years ago, and I doubt many of you will remember the events or generally, anything at all about this story. however, after some inspiration, i started to heavily rework some of the major plot points of this story, as well as filling some of the many, many plot holes.

hayleigh will still be the 'main' character of this story, though in reality is more of a plot device than anything. she is aware of this to some extent, and, knowing this, breaks the fourh wall from time to time. there will be also two additional prominent plot lines- isobella, a member of the council, and will let you know more of perseus's backstory, and quinn and toshiyuki, my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE PEOPLE TO WRITE ABOUT EXCUSE ME, who bring some insight to the villainous side of the story. (not that they're antagonists... well, you'll see.)

anyway this version has a much better planned out plot in general and i hope will gain some reads since i'm quite excited for this!

 

Prologue

-wilt-

  “What is it?”

  “It hasn’t blossomed since Perseus left.” A pale, blonde girl knelt in a garden, anxiously running a slender finger across a white flower. I could not name it for you, for it does not exist, or will it ever exist, in our world. It was a flower with white, thin petals that you could almost see through, veined with green. The nearer it was to the center, the brighter the color of the petal was- it went from white, to silver, to a glimmering gold.

  The only odd thing one would notice, besides its’ captivating beauty, was its’ complete lack of either a stamen or pistil. What this meant, plainly, and what anyone learned in biology would tell you, was that this flower had neither a gender nor any visible means to reproduce. Of course, it was not strange at all to Isobella, who tended to it religiously, but we have more pressing matters on hand to discuss than the rituals of Isobella and the care she puts into taking care of the botany.

  “That means Perseus isn’t dead?” A younger boy, squatted next to the first girl, raised his caramel eyes to meet Isobella’s questioningly.

  “Yes.” She answered, without hesitation. “Never before has it failed to blossom once the previous king or queen has passed on.” The boy nodded, watching Isobella carefully as she stroked her hand across the petal. You could see her finger through it- that was how frail and fragile the flower seemed.

  “But there’s something more worrying. Look closely.” Isobella’s brow furrowed, bringing a world-worn weariness to her young face. Though she looked to be no more than twenty, her years were much, much more than that… and yet, she was still the youngest of the council.

  The boy mirrored her frown, studying the flower intently, pressing his face up close.

  “There’s… a bit of brown at the edges of the petals? Is that what’s worrying you?” He guessed, his breath making the petals wave. “It’s not that bad. I mean, I couldn’t even see it until I got-” He held up two fingers to mimic the distance he had been to the flower “this close. And I’m not sure what’s worrying you.”

  “Renatus, do you know what this sign usually means?” Isobella asked softly.

  “Of course I do. It usually means a flower is malnourished or is, for whatever reason, wilting. It could be bugs, or lack of water, or too much water, or not enough nutrients in the soil…” The boy rattled on about malnourishment, recounting various causes and remedies he had read about. “…But it’s usually not bad until it’s noticeable standing up.” He concluded.

  “Have you been doing your reading on the Monarch Flower, then?”

  “Yes, I’ve also been doing that, Master Isobella. The Monarch Flower goes into blossom if a previous King or Queen passes away, and cannot be destroyed, by magic or otherwise. It needs careful care, as the better care it receives results in stronger powers of the next king or queen, and…” The boy turned stricken.

  “And?” Isobella prompted, standing up and brushing some of the dust off her flowing dress.

  “And… it never wilts.”


See more stories by echo (*Jill*)
yOOOOOOOOOO this was a

yOOOOOOOOOO

this was a bangin prologue my dude, can I just say that the title 'wilt' is mood an aesthetic?
and gosh I love the last line?? Idk it just is such a good finishing line

can't wait for our baes 8)

{i want to prove that we aren't smoldering in this small world.}

Posted by puppetmaster on Mon, 05/07/2018 - 09:37
Yoooo thank u friend

Yoooo thank u friend ilysm!!!
I can't wait for our baes too! They are the best! Thing! About this story imo.
I'm putting out more but the next chapter is gonna just be a slightly revised version of the suuuuper boring first parts of the original (I mean.. Still gotta have that background) and then chapter 3 is going to be a mix of the Toshinn Fluff™ document and iso, chap 4 is gonna be Kerry and Hayleigh going to the other world, then chap 5 is stark (who I haven't decided what to rename yet) and u know who dies and maybe the toshinn mission if there's not enough words to make it an individual chapter lol

ANYWAYS thanks, ily, I'll send whatever new shit I have to u if I remember

Posted by VI (*Jill*) on Mon, 05/07/2018 - 12:35
hey this is so good i can't

hey this is so good i can't wait for more.  i haven't read any of the previous verisions of Hayleigh so I'm excited to be able to start now.

just a few cc things and other stuff,

besides its’ captivating beauty, was its’ complete

its' should be its because you are referring to the flower, so " it " is a singular pronoun, making " its " a singular possesive pronoun like " he" or "she". IF you are using the contraction form " it's" then that literally means " it is."  idk this was probably just an error you didn't even notice so idk why i explained it all. sorry lmao.

bringing a world-worn weariness to her young face

love this line.

so i'm assuming the magical flower she's looking at is the Monarch Flower, which means that Perseus is the current king, but he's in some state of peril since the flower is slowly dying.

 

Posted by garrett on Mon, 05/07/2018 - 14:13
Thanks so much Garrett! Then

Thanks so much Garrett! Then next chapter is probably going to be really boring but I know you'll love Iso when you see more of her later :D

Posted by VI (*Jill*) on Mon, 05/07/2018 - 20:41
woahhhh dude that was so

woahhhh dude that was so good!!!! please tell me you're working on more. I don't think I read the original version but I definitely want to know more about this world already!!!!

---
"To the stars who listen - and the dreams that are answered." -- acomaf

Posted by feysand (lydia) on Thu, 05/10/2018 - 00:55
Your writing is so

Your writing is so beautiful!

Can't wait for chapter one

/and here you are living despite it all/

Posted by Sachi on Sat, 05/12/2018 - 15:39

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