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Outcast (book 1) Many Minds, prologue

Outcast (book 1) Many Minds, prologue

Posted August 3rd, 2011 by rebecca

by Rebec
in Rivendell, the only place in Middle Earth that gets Wi-Fi

Outcast – Many Minds

Prologue

 

This is not Now. This is the Time Before. In those weeks, months, millennia resided relative peace. This is before the Drought began. This is before He takes this place by force. It will not be long until He does.

The true ruler is dead, murdered by his own cub – no, not murdered. Lured away. The lions have a legend which describes this.

The one who took the savannah – or is yet to take it, is a Pale. He loved the lioness of the Night, and this is how another legend starts.

And on the savannah, in the darkness of that night, a large cat leaped down from a tree. He looked up at the crescent moon. Beautiful, at least to this cat. The Pale, the red-eyed white furred lion could not stand that light. This cat could. This cat was to be destroyed, when his power failed. No star can burn forever.

This is something the Usurper forgot. He believed himself all-powerful, but in fact, only five things had to happen for him to fall. They were impossible tasks. Only five cats could ever complete them – should they fail, the savannah falls. On the savannah, there are five strong, - well not strong, only chosen. Cats. If that strange, disjointed, broken creature who fell was restored, if a cat made himself bigger than he was, if a cat made himself bigger than he was, if a structure was destroyed, if a sad beast rose up, if a battle was won.

There were so many ‘if’s. The one who fell, the one with many bodies, yet only one mind, When those bodies  came together, in the shape of a cat, he was strong. Only in this Now he had been broken.

The first blow would fall when the caracal with many minds freed this broken warrior. 


See more stories by Rebec
Write more! Good job!

Write more! Good job!

Posted by Jesse on Wed, 08/03/2011 - 07:23
This one's proving really

This one's proving really hard to write. I'm stuck already

 

'Tyger tyger burning bright, in the forests of the night. What immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetry?' - The Tyger, by William Blake

Posted by Rebecca on Wed, 08/03/2011 - 07:49
Wow this so

Wow this so cool!!!

 

 

 

{-Melody-}

Posted by Melody on Wed, 08/03/2011 - 07:53
This is so cool! But so

This is so cool! But so confusing... I love it! I hope you get over your writer's block soon, 'cause I want to read more! :D

Just a bit of CC:

It got a little jumbled up near the end, around here: 

On the savannah, there are five strong, well not strong, only chosen. Cats. If that strange, disjointed, broken creature who fell was restored, if a cat made himself bigger than he was, if a cat made himself bigger than he was, if a structure was destroyed, if a sad beast rose up, if a battle was won.

When I say "jumbled up", I mean it sounds a little rushed and confusing. A little editing could clear it up. :) 

This is a fantastic prologue! Definitely write more of this soon! :D

Into the Rush Until Forever Dies... ~Saber of the Guard

Posted by Leloo on Wed, 08/03/2011 - 09:08
Again, I meant for it to

Again, I meant for it to sound like that. Confusing.

 

'Tyger tyger burning bright, in the forests of the night. What immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetry?' - The Tyger, by William Blake

Posted by Rebecca on Wed, 08/03/2011 - 11:11
OH HOW I LOVE

OH HOW I LOVE ANTHROPORMORPHIC FICTION!!! Bless you for writing this. IT IS GONNA BE AWESOME!!!! It's so epically confusing. I LOVE IT!!! I'm guessing that the Pale is bad..... but is the caracal bad too? ARGH, so many questions..... I'd need many minds to answer them all! (haha, stinky awful pun.)

Wait, *has just realized something* the Pale killed his dad? Or lured him away? :( BAD PALE!!!!

God is good ALL THE TIME!! (Even when life just plain stinks...) SMEAGOL!!!! O_O

Posted by Tarka on Sun, 10/02/2011 - 13:24
Pale is going to be the

Pale is going to be the lion's word for albino. Leopards say: 'who the hell even cares' , servals probably say 'one who has been cursed with a genetic condition'...

 

You write awesome animal stories! The Long Road is one of my favourite wolf stories!

'Tyger tyger burning bright, in the forests of the night. What immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetry?' - The Tyger, by William Blake

Posted by Tygress on Sun, 10/02/2011 - 13:48
Haha, so I'm guessing that

Haha, so I'm guessing that servals have proper English..... Felis..... whatever the language that they speak is called. :D

Thanks! SO GLAD THAT YOU LIKE IT!!!! But I lurve big cats. :D EPICAL!!!

God is good ALL THE TIME!! (Even when life just plain stinks...) SMEAGOL!!!! O_O

Posted by Tarka on Sun, 10/02/2011 - 17:28
O.o You officially have

O.o You officially have caught my attention. :D Wonderful job on this! *claps*

There aren't many stories out ther about African cats for some reason....mainly just Lion King fanfictions. XD

On the savannah, there are five strong, well not strong, only chosen. Cats.

Eh, this sentence could be made just a little better. Try,

On the savannah, there are five strong--well not strong, only chosen--cats.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here your dreams are sweet,
And tomorrow brings them true,
Here is the place where I love you…

-Rue's Lullaby

Posted by TheAshWolf on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 16:15
Thanks...I wrote that in a

Thanks...I wrote that in a notebook for once, so didn't notice it for ages. Then I typed it up, put in on kp, spotted it and was way, way to lazy to update it.

 

'Tyger tyger burning bright, in the forests of the night. What immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetry?' - The Tyger, by William Blake

Posted by Tygress on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 11:35
I've never read a big cats

I've never read a big cats book... or even a Lion King fan ficiton, so I'm really excited. I like the way you wrote it, all confusing-like. :3 Someone had a word for that... I'll have to look again later...

but yeah, really cool. :D

This is short-sh comment cuz I just wann go to the next cahpter. ^_^

 

To see, first you must look.

~amy

Posted by Celest~*Amy on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 08:25

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