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The Underlings Chapter Four *repost* ( read read read read read read read )

The Underlings Chapter Four *repost* ( read read read read read read read )

Posted June 12th, 2012 by gafreeman

by Ms.Ebony
in the observable universe


this is a very important chapter

EVERYTHING is revealed

plus i will post a new Underlings chapter every day this week

I couldn't yesterday Bcuz i was on vacation


I've been thinking about once i finish this story

gettin it published

my friends think i should

but i want the opinion of some REAL WRITERS

like the ones here on KIDS PUB!!!!!!!!!!!!

so leave me a comment

( and B.T.W, be on a look out for any new Backstage chapters! )

( -  _ )
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here's the chappie!!!!!!!!!!!


As Hunter entered the court her hands trembled with fear.

She and her family walked down a seemingly endless hallway. The walls were lined with portraits of lords and ladies in expensive garments surrounded by riches. They all had a stern and evil look in their eyes, as if they were alive and ready to kill. Hunter was so focused on the paintings she didn’t notice that the hallway ended until the handcrafted carpet stopped, causing her to trip over the fringe at the end. Hunter looked up, amazed at the vast door that stood in front of her. It was carved with exquisite detail, one side with riches and pleasures, and the other with the downfall of the Underlings. The guards opened the giant doors; once the family took one step in they were entranced and terrified.

The room was filled with powerful Overlords in long overcoats and ladies in poufy dresses. Gold and silver was visible on everything, boot buckles, buttons, cuffs, pins, even sewn into the garments themselves. The Overlords’ eyes locked on to Hunter as she wobbled in to her seat. Her sister, Hope sneered at the Overlords’ fancy getup, before being carefully scolded by her mother.

Silence rang through the court, only disturbed by everyone getting into their seats

They looked at Hunter’s clothing with tones of disgust, like the girl’s garments were goat liver. Everyone swallowed their discontent and stared rudely. Hunter felt very embarrassed. She wanted the bury herself under the earth and never come out. She could feel every Overlord’s breath brushing against her neck.

A large man in a red and blue coat covered in cufflinks and accents stood up, he cleared his throat and prepared to speak.

“Hunter Barlow” the man said, his deep voice bellowing through the room. “From the city Yon, in the Underlands. You have been summoned to the court of our King; do you know why you have been called here?”

“No I do not.” Hunter said, short and sweet. Her eyes started to water and Hope’s fists began to clench.

“Well then” The bellowing man’s short assistant said, “Let us enlighten you on the subject,” he giggled like a little child.

The small assistant searched through his leather bag, trying to find something. He pulled out a few loose papers colored tattered yellow. Endless words were scribbled on, with small markings to edit them.

They were titled “The small fish”, “A bird in the trees”, and “the ocean blue”. Below the titles were scribbles of words, oodles of letters, they were stories, something a little too creative for the Overlords’ taste.  It expressed imagination, if Hunter could imagine the ocean, then she could imagine a plan of rebellion.

The stories were magnificent, and at the bottom of every one they were signed “Written by Hunter Barlow”.

Hunter hung her head low and started crying as her family gasped and stared at Hunter. The Overlords raised their eyebrows and smirked at the poor Underling. Not wanting to waste any more time, the bellowing man continued.

“We found these on a midnight raid” the man said, “We believe that you know of our rules for punishing creativity, and this defies every one of them.”

Now everyone was crying. The mother, the sister, even some of the Overlords got emotional. Hunter was sobbing in dreaded tears, but the bellowing man never changed his expression.

“Yes, yes” the man said, “it's all very sad. But, let me finish me some other fate for her than punishment. We think that maybe, Hunter could stay at the castle and be the queen’s scribe, writing down her every word. She would compose letters, create speeches, and pamphlets for the pubic, doing this would let her escape punishment. Of course, she would forget all plans of rebellion and become perfectly behaved. She would need to clean up and become poised and perfect. We tolerate nothing bellow the best on the top of this mountain.”

I see what they’re doing here, thought Hope. All they want is to abolish rebellion, just like they abolished our rights. They can treat her the same way as in prison, and keep an eye one her!

Hunter’s face lightened and her smile warmed. It was chance, a chance to survive and live in the castle. Her sister and her mother got their confidence back and started whispering among themselves.

“Do you think I should take it? I’ll stay alive, right?” Hunter said

“I’m not sure I’d trust the Overlords to take care of my sister.” Hope said. “They could treat you just as bad or worse, it’s not like they’ve established child abuse laws. I want to know you are safe.”

“Look at it this way,” Lotus said, “If Hunter refuses, she dies. If she accepts and they still kill her, it’s not a different fate from the other option. This way she has a chance, no matter how slim that may be, it is a chance. ”

Even though this was simple logic, the debate over her death still made her shed some more tears. I don’t want to die! Though Hunter, I want to live a normal life! Not a normal life in the Underlands, a normal life in the Overlands. My family would be there and we would all be happy. We would make sure all the Underlings are happy too and…”

“Hunter?” asked Lotus, “what do you think?”

“Uh,” said Hunter as she settled back into reality “I don’t know.”

After a couple minutes of the same argument in a similar whisper, the family straightened their back and began to speak.

“I, Hunter Barlow, will accept your offer.” Hunter said, her voice shaking. “I will live in the castle and be the queen’s scribe; I will leave my family and use my skills to start anew.”

After a rather half-hearted applause Hunter was approached by the bellowing man in the red and blue coat. He cleared his throat once again and began to talk to Hunter.



See more stories by Ms.Ebony
That was really good!! I

That was really good!!

I like the publishing idea, actually. It's a really good story, only some proof errors in there. Remember, at the end of a dialogue, never just leave it blank. Put a question mark, a COMMA, a period, an exclamation, a dash...three dots...just to make sure the sentence isn't hanging in thin air.

This is the edge. :D

Posted by Laura on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 08:46
Looooovvvvveeee it!! I think

Looooovvvvveeee it!!

I think you should TOTALLY get it published! ^.^


Please read my story 'Dictionary of Thieves: Ami' (YES!!! I'm continuing this into a chapter book!): http://www.kidpub.com/book-page-or-chapter/dictionary-thieves-ami-prolog...

Posted by Claire on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 15:12
It's reeeaaallly great! I

It's reeeaaallly great! I think you SHOULD publish it! And write more! This story is sooo interesting! Love the way you write!

Even if the voices in my head aren't real, they still have some really good ideas!

Posted by Em on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 15:55
Thank you SO much for the

Thank you SO much for the amazing comments!!!


"I'm sorry!!! *SLAM SLAM* the door seems to be *SLAM* stuck!!

Posted by The Unpopped Wa... on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 16:38
I think that publishing this

I think that publishing this is a great idea- go for it!

Love isn't measured by how many breaths you take, but by how many times your breath is taken away<3

Posted by Isabelle on Sun, 07/28/2013 - 19:38

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