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Venom and Medicine-Prologue

Venom and Medicine-Prologue

Posted August 11th, 2012 by Lena

by Lena
in the stars

A/N: I'm sorry this is so short. But, anyway, I hope you like it! And even if you don't...please CC. It really means a lot. Of course, I should probably shut up now and get on with the story...so, uh, yeah. Here you go!

 

Prologue

            The wind whispered in my ears, gentle and calming, yet I knew exactly what was coming. I leaned against the birch tree and closed my eyes, trying to imagine what it would be like to live a perfect life. A life where my only sister wouldn’t be taken away. A life where my story actually ended with and they lived happily ever after.

            “Ah, Kathryn,” a man’s voice cooed. I opened my eyes and looked for the speaker. My eyes landed on him—his revolting face, dark clothing, wide, evil beam. “You showed up. I had my doubts about you but—”

            “Just take her and leave, you sick creature,” I growled, holding out the sleeping baby girl. My enemy laughed—playful and joyful. Like he was enjoying watching the silent battle rage in my mind.

            “Well, fine. But I must say, you’re not any fun!” he teased. I was so tempted to slap him. To kick him where it hurts and just run away.

            Tears stung in my eyes, and I choked the words out: “Leave me alone! Go away!”  My enemy laughed again and he took the baby from my hands, bundled her up in his own. I forced myself to stand, to say goodbye. I gingerly kissed my sister’s forehead, and whispered, “This is for the best. I’m sorry.”

            “I’ll be leaving now, Kathryn,” my enemy said. A burning pain flickered through my body as he pushed me away.

            “Don’t hurt her!” I pleaded. “Please don’t hurt her!”

            He smiled cruelly, and in a flash of smoky black, was gone.


See more stories by Lena
Intriguing! I like it ^O^

Intriguing! I like it ^O^ Please continue it soon!

GREAT JOB!!!!

 

~~Calla~~ Writing is the best way to talk without being interrupted.

Posted by The Marked (Calla) on Sat, 08/11/2012 - 22:35
Thanks! I will:D When your

Thanks! I will:D

When your imaginary friends start talking to your Hallucintions, that's when you know something's wrong....

Posted by Lena on Sat, 08/11/2012 - 22:41
Wow! Okay, first off! This

Wow! Okay, first off! This is really good! I can really feel all the hate the narator feels, and I can sense the cruelty of the "enemy

You are really good at letting emotions flow in writing! There are however a few typos, but nothing that cant be fixed! ;) Too improve....well I mean all writing can always be bettered, but I would say this is a pretty solid piece of literature. Do however try to show more than tell...

ie: Telling: I hated the man Showing: As the man approached, a deep burning filled my core. My eyes glistened for ways to avenge the ones he had done wrong.

So as you can see showing can really add length and improvment to any writing! Good luck! ;)

"Three rings for the Elven-kings under the sky, Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone, Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die, One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne In the land of Mordor where Shadows lie ~LOTR

Posted by Nyteris-Spirit on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 01:52
Thanks for the CC. I'll work

Thanks for the CC. I'll work on that:)

When your imaginary friends start talking to your Hallucintions, that's when you know something's wrong....

Posted by Lena on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 10:50
:O Nice! This was really

:O Nice! This was really cool, i'll be watching for chapter one!

 

The fire was casting an orange glow on the trees, making them light up in a weird yet awe-inspiring kind of way. It reflected and shown on our faces as well, making us look like little orange people. I almost laughed. ~ Adelaide's Description of the night

Posted by Tess on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 08:38
Very good!!!!  That is a

Very good!!!!  That is a verrrrry interstesting story!!  Can't wait to see what happens next!!"It takes a greater amount of courage to stand up to your friends than your enemies"-JK Rowling, Author of the Harry Potter Series

Posted by Lexi on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 09:06
That sounded really

That sounded really awesome!!!! I like it so much! Please continue soon!

This is the edge. :D

Posted by Epicness (Laura) on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 10:49
Thanks to all of you! :D

Thanks to all of you! :D I'll have the first chapter up as soon as I can.
When your imaginary friends start talking to your Hallucintions, that's when you know something's wrong....

Posted by Lena on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 10:51
wow, great description! one

wow, great description! one of my teachers always told me that in writing, you need SAT, speaking,action, thinking.

However, I think you might want to put a little bit more light on the subject, and to make it a little bit longer.

I can't wait for this book to start! consider publishing it!

 

I wrote this last night at the kitchen table with a 5 and a 3 year old climbing on me, 2 dogs barking, and 24 students in the forefront of my mind ~ Mr. McCrory, my 5th grade teacher. GO MC!!!!! :)

Posted by Scripta on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 12:01
Thanks:) I'll work on stuff

Thanks:) I'll work on stuff like that. Right now, I'm mostly trying to get my ideas out.

When your imaginary friends start talking to your Hallucintions, that's when you know something's wrong....

Posted by Lena on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 18:23
 This is really really

 This is really really intrigiung! I can't wait to read more!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   I was gonna write something awesome, but I got lazy.

Posted by ShadowThief (Alex) on Tue, 12/25/2012 - 11:42
o_o Okay so I am starting to

o_o Okay so I am starting to read the series again and this prologue is amazing! It looks like a nice playful start to the book and I just love it that way! 8D

(Sorry for bad comment...I am on the phone...)

~Only Australians make the best pavlovas--that is because that is the only place where they make it.~

Posted by Quealser Errato... on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 01:23
That was amazing. The

That was amazing. The description, the pleas of Kaythrn, it was awesome.

 

I am following the whole story. :)
Th5 teenagers, 1 bad guy, countless souls stolen.- Read Stolen Souls- http://www.kidpub.com/book-page-or-chapter/untitled-prologue-please-comment-i-am-really-proud-22281

Posted by ConfuzzlingConf... on Fri, 06/14/2013 - 19:41
Aw, thankie! I edited this

Aw, thankie! I edited this though: http://www.kidpub.com/book-page-or-chapter/venom-and-medicine-prologue-h...

 

~*~I used up all my sick days, so I called in dead.~*~

Posted by Winry Rockbell ... on Sat, 06/15/2013 - 09:39
I have decided to

I have decided to comment on all I haven't already commented on. I can really feel Kathryn's emotion in this chapter, the way she cares about her baby sister. :D I love this prologue. It would hook any reader. It sure hooks me. :D                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    "I had a nighmare, too." "What was yours about, Merc?" Ethan asks, accidently knocking over Ella's cup of coffee. "That I was at a boring meeting and there was coffee all over the table. Oh, I guess it came true."-Ethan and Mercy, Witchcraft

Posted by Bookworm (Grace) on Mon, 07/08/2013 - 15:29

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