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Untitled Story *Part 1 of Chapter 1* (CC Please!!!!!!!)

Untitled Story *Part 1 of Chapter 1* (CC Please!!!!!!!)

Posted January 21st, 2014 by Arthurboulos

Arthurboulos's picture
by ilvermorny (sam)
in the false nirvana


The planet of Eron wasn’t like our old one. Even though, I have never been to Earth, just heard stories about it, I knew it was better than this. Sometimes, I can see it in the sky, except it’s not the same. Earth used to be filled with luscious green trees, and roaring white, foamy waterfalls. It was created by God. Sometimes, I wonder if God regrets making the human race. We destroyed his biggest beauty of Earth, with our bombs and wars and conflicts. 


Eron is an ugly, artificial planet without any trees or waterfalls. During World War III, President Challenor ordered a new planet to be built, as a black replica of ours. He abandoned the soldiers, who were fighting to the death and everyone evacuated the planet of Earth. Everyone assumes that the soldiers starved, or killed each other. Instead of having jail, President Caro Coulter, has the patrollers send the prisoners to Earth, and die. 


My mother named me, and my sister after small parts of what Earth used to be. My sister is called Rain, and I am called Bay. She tells me about how my descendants, from Earth, loved to swim and sing and chase butterflies. 


I laid in bed, thinking about Earth, when Rain stormed in. “Bay Winfred! We’re late for Patrollers Practice!”


“I don’t even want to be a patroller.” I rolled my eyes. Rain was a year younger than me, but she still liked to take charge. “Really, Bay. Why do we have to go through this routine every day, and more importantly; when will it stop?” Rain asked impatiently.


I got out of my bed and changed into my black uniform. The entire planet was black, except for the Core. The Core is a place where Rain and I sneak to after Patrollers' Practice. It was underground and about 300 miles from the surface of the planet. It was colorful and happy. We could dip our fingers in yellow and blue paint and smear it against the walls. The one place where we were happy.


Rain wore an identical black uniform, except for girls. Her black hair was pulled back into a tight bun, so it wouldn’t get in the way when she was fighting. Her icy blue eyes were like a wolf’s. 


Mom had an exception not to work. She was 8 months pregnant and throwing up all the time. Pregnant women were supposed to work until they were 7 months pregnant. We left our one story house and to Patrollers Practice. Patrollers were the police of the planet. There are at least 1000 in every one of the 5 cities in Eron. Valmont, Colton, Goin, Blacken and Marble. Every city is giant. I live in Blacken, probably the most controlled city, because the president lives there. The president. The wicked president who killed my father. Nobody votes on the president. Since he was a descendant of President Challenor, he stayed in charge. Nobody can change that, unless they kill him, then the president's killer is the new one. 


My father tried to murder the president because, he didn’t want his children growing up in this dark, artificial world. When, I was probably  9 months old, on a dark cold night, he attacked the president and was sent to Earth, to rot away. 


Rain and I walked to Patrollers Practice, which was right down the street, taught by the president’s main patroller, Weston Callan. 


See more stories by ilvermorny (sam)
"She tells be about how my

"She tells be about how my descendants..."-change be to me

"Rain wore an identical black uniform, except for girls."-don't really understand, should change structure

...otherwise I love it. Your story is really cool and I love sci-fi.

Posted by Jared on Fri, 02/28/2014 - 18:02

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