Book Excerpt Review
Posted June 30th, 2013 by Read_Write
A Book Review by feysand (lydia)
in love with tom holland
An eight-year-old girl was killed, possibly by murder, possibly by accident. But her journal seems to give the message that some fairies are after her...
We have not met any characters yet in this excerpt, therefore I cannot review the characters at this point in time.
In this tiny bit of excerpt, I think that this plot may have a good chance at becoming something pretty good. Alas, I do not have enough information to fully review here, either.
Overall, I think this excerpt might need a bit of work. There are some grammatical problems, and I think there should be a short sentence before the article, like, "Lying in the attic of the old house, lay an abandoned newspaper." Or, if there is a person reading it (which the last sentence does not indicate), maybe, " He picked up the ____ news and gasped at what had happened." I don't know, it just seemed wrong starting the way it did.
Also, I think you should tell the story of her death before saying what her mom said, etc. But otherwise, I really liked it! It was very intriguing!
This has very good potential, so I shall see what become of it. :)
See more stories by feysand (lydia)