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The Silhouette

The Silhouette

Posted January 4th, 2013 by rebecca

A Book Review by Rebec
in Rivendell, the only place in Middle Earth that gets Wi-Fi

Author: 
Jesse
Rating: 
4

When people write, children especially, a common mistake can be using brackets in a third person narrative, where they are superflous, and a subordinate clause would work quite nicely. Perhaps another error could be cliche, but in this case, it can be ignored. I just love the storyline for some inexplicable reason. It's dark, yes, and there are some problems, but who really cares?

As the author rightly says, the name Kenny is a little childish, but unlike him, I believe it works. Kenny is a typical boy, who true, occasionally has nightmares, but otherwise is pretty normal and never does his homework. Except he is not normal. which has led to demonic things who might actually be demons, trying to kill him in order to escape into the real worl. Did I mention cliche? Scratch that, it's awesome.

The demons were bound in the lake, I think anyway, and are trying to escape. A little girl, Neon, is one of their most terrible agents, and she comes with free psychopathy and an army of vultures. She tries to kill Kenny twice, but he escapes, aided by a mysterious male voice. Then, when he is vaguely safe, a weird girl from his maths class appears with no explanation. This is one of the weaker sections, and is unexplained and rather pointless. I would add this part in sometime later. Kenny is first punished for not having a science project, which does bias the teacher's mind against him, so when Neon turns up and wrecks the class, he is expelled for it, even though everyone knows it was not him and the teacher/bovine lies about it. Neon goes about her job somewhere else, and we meet the Silhouette, who has ordered Kenny's death. We also learn Neon has cursed him. Our final piece of education so far, is that Kenny is unconscious in a car, and the Silhouette, or some other mysterious shadowy man is causing trouble. 

I rated it four out of five because of the errors in it, and occasional lack of description. With editing, this would most definitely be a five. Most definitely.

 

For the author:

Use subordinate clauses instead as brackets, brackets are on of my pet peeves, check for grammar and spelling errors, change Mercedes' presence and finally finish the book. 


See more stories by Rebec
I should read it.    By

I should read it. 

 

By the way, Rebecca, I use brackets a lot in AP but you didn't mention it.  I feel personally it goes with the style of the writing and A.P's personality, but I'm just curious what you think.

 

Posted by Esther (Algebra... on Fri, 01/04/2013 - 15:03
It's a first person

It's a first person narrative. It works. It's just in third person that it's a problem.

 

I was going to do something humorous, thought-provoking and fascinating for my signature, but whyever would I do that when I can drive you all insane with something like this?

Posted by Quetzalcoatlus ... on Fri, 01/04/2013 - 16:29

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