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The Transparent Timepiece

The Transparent Timepiece

Posted January 3rd, 2013 by rebecca

A Book Review by Rebec
in Rivendell, the only place in Middle Earth that gets Wi-Fi

Author: 
Leloo
Rating: 
5

There is nothing majorly wrong in this picture. Only two things make me uncomfortable, and they are the amount of rewrites this has had. It has adapted, and I do not know if it is for the better. But as a story, isolated from previous memories, Leloo's work, as always is fantastic. It is unbeatable.

From the original, I know our protagonist is Cricket, but her metamorphisation is one of the aspects I do not like overmuch. It is just that the original had so much going for her, and this new Cricket is a lot quieter, very different. She also has some magic. Even if I am not fond of her, she was written brilliantly.

The story begins with a mysterious man, who is not dead, but he was. From reading plans, I know what this means, but I shall not mention it, other than to say he works perfectly, as he has done in all his previous incarnations. Of course, then, after a sutiably mysterious prologue, Cricket's abusive mentor Vanguard enters, and he perhaps is what detracts from her character, though he is awesome, with his cyborg dogs and general evilness. He forces her to use her visions to see her mother in her coffin, which is slightly on the cruel side. I don't know how the original Cricket would react to that.

Cricket, then, is the only character that needs a bit more work. The plot is fine, our mysterious friend from the prologue is sutiably unlike Sherlock Holmes, and Vanguard is brilliant, in a love-to-want-to-kill kind of way. All in all, I should wait to see the new story, assuming this is it's final evolution, before making jokes like that last one.

 

For the author:

What can I say, really? Characterise Cricket better. That's the problem. Her character does not interest me like the last Crickets (ah, another bad joke about this, nicely done). Having said that, I am not inside her head. You need to be. Sounds cheesy I know, but it works. It's like acting. This story needs to be believed, even whilst you are reminding yourself it's fiction. 


See more stories by Rebec
Oh, thank you so, so much,

Oh, thank you so, so much, Rebecca! This is truly going to help; and I'm glad you enjoyed it! :^D Mehehe, yes, this is going to be the final evolution (at least, I sincerely hope so). X^3

*bakes you a Thank You cake* *or cookies* *or pie* *whichever you prefer*

Faved! *for later reference of the critique, plus I just really love your reviews* ;^)

"They say you're the city's fearless bloodhound... but all I see is a lonely stray." ~The Transparent Timepiece

Posted by Lou Frost {Leloo} on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 07:08
*jaw drop* O.O You are an

*jaw drop* O.O You are an AWESOME reviewer!!!  Great job!

Heeeeey.... I don't want to sound pushy.... but could you maybe do a review for TLR? :D I mean, if you want to and have time and stufffff.....

The creatures of Half-tree Forest lived in fear, and for good reason... fearful of Them. -The Long Road

Posted by Dashlyn (Tarka) on Sat, 01/05/2013 - 21:14
Yes, of course I'll review

Yes, of course I'll review it, but it will mean finding problems I never knew existed...I love the Long Road.

 

I was going to do something humorous, thought-provoking and fascinating for my signature, but whyever would I do that when I can drive you all insane with something like this?

Posted by Quetzalcoatlus ... on Sun, 01/06/2013 - 02:47
Phhhhhh! *scoffs* I'm sure

Phhhhhh! *scoffs* I'm sure that you can find something wrong with it.... THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH! :D (For the review and loving TLR..... :P I felt the necessity to specify.)

The creatures of Half-tree Forest lived in fear, and for good reason... fearful of Them. -The Long Road

Posted by Dashlyn (Tarka) on Mon, 01/07/2013 - 17:11

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