The Writer's Block - Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElizieAngelina (Post 604315)

im angry right now. angry at myself. I want to scream but my voice is still raw. I thought I had it all cleared out, but something awful began today. there are two scratches on my leg, and I caused this.
my life is still beginning, I think. I'm 12 years old, almost 13, and I don't know jack about reality. you're supposed to have a crisis at 20, for crying out loud. in the end, the internet is just a place where people talk smack about each other.
and it sucks that it has to be brought to reality. it sucks that I'm not the person I appear to be-this sweet and friendly writer that has NO PROBLEMS OF HER OWN AND THAT'S ALL JUST A FACADE AND I WANT TO BE SWEET AND FRIENDLY AND I WANT TO RIDE BIKES AND DRAW AND DRINK MANGO SMOOTHIES AGAIN PLAY SPLATOON WITH SO MANY AMAZING PEOPLE AND I WANT TO WATCH SPLATOON ANIMATICS BECAUSE I LOVE THEM. LAST BUT NOT LEAST, I WANT TO BE WITH YOU ALL FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, PLAYING SPLATOON AND BEING IN NEW YORK, TOKYO, OR ANYWHERE ELSE.
splatoon- and you guys- are the only reason I want to be here. I love you all.

disclaimer: not a licensed therapist

Sometimes for reasons beyond human comprehension, our emotions expand beyond what our bodies can safely hold. It's like steam in a teakettle or mentos in a shaken coca-cola. You need to find an outlet, a SAFE outlet, for your rage and pain, because it is normal, and while it usually becomes less intense as you get older, it never actually goes away.

Things that have helped me in the past:

-run. sprint around the block.
-scream into a pillow. or just actually scream.
-punch something and/or kick something. like a tree or a fence or a mattress.
-sing/write. put words to what's racing through your body at breakneck speed.
-listen to music that helps put what's inside you...outside you?? like, you don't want to listen to ONLY sad music if you're sad, because then you might just stay sad. I've found Twenty One Pilots helpful for processing feelings when it's all too much.
-distract yourself. we can't always run from our emotions, but sometimes delaying processing until we are safer is not a bad idea. TV, YouTube, read something.

Also, right now, I can really relate to feeling like the image you're putting out to the world doesn't match your experience within. (I am in college, and my Golden Child reputation/energy is becoming impossible to maintain!) It's especially hard when you, as a rule, don't want to be dishonest. But if there's one thing that's gotten better societally, it's realizing that The Kids Aren't Alright. Every single God-loved one of us has an issue of some kind. Every single one of us is struggling against ourselves every day. I know this to be true for myself.

Confiding about how dark you feel on the inside to people you can trust has, in my experience, been the best solution.

Because once you let the light shine into those parts of you that you are afraid of, they aren't as dark.

Kind of like how 'fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself'? All these terrifying thoughts and emotions that we experience cannot, by themselves, condemn us. They are part of being human. Shine a light on them, let the truth shine on them, and they become less powerful. They lose their hold on you.

Thus why I'm really glad you posted that, Elizabeth.

I assume you're already talking to somebody, but if you're hurting yourself, I highly recommend professional help.

Love you, kiddo. Stay safe out there.