No No No D: D: D:
LST you are amazingly awesome and epictastical!!!!! Of course all of the people from your school like you, how can they not? From your personality you are an awesome person :3
I don't know what I can say to help you, but just stay strong, keep eating, and push all of the bad thoughts to the back of your mind and keep all of the good ones at the front. I know way easier said then done, but it will help :3
~glomps you~ If you ever need help or . . . well anything, just email me :3

Okay, so... for the record, I listened to those songs. Unlike probably most of the people on here who come across a link to a song, I actually listened read the lyrics AND listened the music all the way through instead of skimming through the lyrics and moving on. You know why I did that? Because, I want to know exactly what you're trying to convey through that link. I'm putting actual effort and patience into this. Why is this so important? WELLLL, considering I think my heart rate just doubled since I read your post, and my hands are shaking, I think me sitting through and actually comprehending two songs and a quote is pretty good. XD XD DX DX ._.

Anyway.

I totally know how you feel about wanting to just kill off your current self and just make another, better you. I've actually done that many, MANY times. Sometimes I think I'm a flipping Time Lord from all the times I've died and totally completely reinvented my personality. But, the thing is, I'm still just a teen, so, I'm hardly ever satisfied with who I am, and that seems to be the trend with all teens. What you need to do is this: If you want to reinvent yourself, I say, go ahead. In fact, I want you to do that, because I can't stand to see you look at yourself like this. O_e But, when/if you accomplish that, don't be surprised if your newish self isn't 100% perfect in your eyes. The point of remaking yourself is making yourself into someone who you can at least tolerate--maybe even have some respect for, NOT to be all ZOMG-I'm-Eclipse-Silver-and-Evil-Kineval-combined-I'm-100%-awesome! *sincerely hopes you remember Vaaren Salvation enough to know who Eclipse is* <:^J You know? Just...just...jkabskjfbakjbf. Okay.

Start with your viewpoint, if you want to burn yourself down and start again. Take the Lorelai approach (*isn't expecting you to understand that reference*)! If something someone does to you that's a bit petty but still upsets you, don't get angry. Be amused. Laugh at the person! Don't let their actions govern your mood. Or, if you just want to feel again, take the time to slow down. On a non-busy day (winter break is coming up, you should have plenty), just go for a walk or something. Eat a candy bar and take ten minutes to do it. Or, if you want a different approach, do something TOTALLY DIFFERENT. Take another route to get to somewhere! Walk backwards over the course of one day! Go to a totally different library or park or whatever! Say hello to every freaking person you see and say "screw it" to anyone that thinks you're insane! Jump in a freezing pool of water! ANYTHING you've never done before, or haven't done many times. Anything to get your mind to pay attention and FEEL SOMETHING.

...And that concludes Part Two of mah lecture. owo Please allow me to write Part THREEEEE. *flies away*

Amber: :^| I just wanted to come on here really quick to say something. Tredom? Yeah. I think you broke Ash. XD XD DX DX She's officially stuck in caring-friend mode. If she's smothering you with advice or getting too emotional or talking too much, just know that she'll stop eventually. o_e And she doesn't mean to make you uncomfortable or bored. So...yeah. >_>

At first, they used to make me even madder when I listen to them, but it always helps nowadays and makes me feel nice. I listened to them once when I had a mood swing of sullen-ness and recovered soon.


That tumblr thing 'alternatives to cutting' or whatever it's called has stabbing an orange in it. I really considered trying it.

But I think you're really pretty...I saw your deviantID.
You aren't horrible, though that might be the first impression. Does he like you?
My friend has your exact same problem. I'm not in the same school as her any more, and my other friend in primary school is being a right bitch, she says.

Tell her why. Like how talking to people face to face is much more awkward and self-conscious than typing it out to people on the Internet who don't know you personally and can't really judge you.

I'm 100% sure that everyone at school is NOT getting together to play some sort of elaborate joke on you, Tredom. <:^J I mean, seriously. >_> Kids can barely get together and cooperate long enough to do a stupid short science experiment and glue some paper and crude drawings and charts to a piece of cardboard for a silly science fair, LET ALONE collectively decide to "humor the homeschooled kid". O_O *le fail attempt at humor/lightening up the situation* <:^D

But, seriously, now. ._. I don't see a single thing about you that would make people not like you. I'm dead freaking serious, here. Usually everyone has some kind of quirk or habit or whatever that most people don't like, but if you have one, man, you've hidden it well, 'cuz I don't see it. If you're thinking about your shyness, then, calm down. I think it's safe to say that most people would chose to hang out with a shy person compared to an overbearing person. SO. ^_^ Yeah.

And please don't get me started on the eating thing again, buddy. ;w; This is coming from the girl who practically gave teenagers the title of "bottomless pits," so, that COULD be why I can't understand how you're going so long without eating. I can't think about ANYTHING but food when I'm hungry. And, (this is just a theory, here, buddy, but), maybe part of why you feel so bad is because you physically aren't getting what you need to be happy and healthy? As corny as it sounds--healthy goes hand-in-hand with happy, even if you have depression or any number of mental issues. And, if anything, eating would at least take that one small thing off your list of things that's wrong. I know you're probably feeling to ill to eat, but at least choke down a cracker or something ever couple hours. Something is better than nothing. <:^J

And I'm sure that deep down, your father DOES care about you. But, sometimes, people are just too messed up to show it, and sometimes don't even know HOW. Just keep in mind that he hasn't abandoned your family, he at least acknowledges your existence and that yes, you are his son. Because if he REALLY didn't give a ****, he would have shown it and left a long time ago. AND he DID care enough to ask you about your eating habits, even if it was brief and didn't seem like much. <:^) This is coming from a person who HAS actually been totally abandoned by multiple family members, so, please don't try to question my credibility on this one. XD

Point is, Tredom, I care. x_x I'm sorry I went flying off the handle like that. (I'd give anything to go back to being numb like you are--because, once you get so numb that think pain and anger is better than feeling nothing at all...after you feel that relentless pain and anger for a while, you miss being numb...but it IS a bit of a springboard for happiness if you're sane enough to know what pain is acceptable and what isn't [i.e. physical harm VS facing someone who's been treating you like dirt for years]. <:^J)

Just...kjsbfjkbsfkjb. Oh gosh. x_X Where did the last hour ago?

Just feel better, okay? Don't make me go crazy like this again...XD XD DX DX

._. I wish I wasnt so shy.

Shy people are like the kind of chocolate candy with tinfoil wrappers. At a glance, they may seem dull, simple, and tasteless, but once you git rid of the wrapper (their initial shy nature), you realize their beauty and sweetness isn't skin-deep--it starts just beneath the surface and then goes all the way to their hearts. ^_^

*is now a bit insane, so don't be surprised of that blurb right there made no sense at all! 8D*

*also would prefer if no one quoted this post just in case I want to delete it later when I'm sane again... ._.*

But, Ash, I'm a different shy person and when I am shy, I never want to be around any of my friends ever again. ._. I hate how people think I am the off one out because I am the odd one out but...I hate myself for not contributing to things that I should be contributing to. >_< I hate it so much how stupid I am and how stupid I am to myself for being so immature...I'm not a sweet person; I'm not a nerd; I'm not violent...I don't know what I am...people don't know what I am, either.

Don't hate yourself. D: You're an awesome person and everyone on this site cares about you even though it's through the internet; that's how great you are!

Don't get pissed about school - it's only a short time in your life, and soon enough, you'll be out of it. :P

If your dad doesn't care about you, why care about him, or even bother to listen to what he says?

Soon enough, things'll be better. :p

Ugh. I'm no good at advice, but I hope I helped. >.<