ok but schools will care less about your grades and more about what makes you happy, even if you have interests in voodoo-badminton as long as you show that you're passionate about that you can get into your dream school
and one B on your transcript isn't gonna hurt you, even if you're aiming for Ivy League
I KNOW YOU HAVE REDEEMING QUALITIES so just stop being so hard on yourself ;-; you paid $15 to get a KP account meaning that at some point in your life you were ambitious enough about writing to be here today and if that's not an example of passion idk what is

idk dude
i havent written in ages
i'm really into music + performing arts but i'm shit at that and i'm surrounded by prodigies in a world that seems to hate me

thanks dear it means so much to have your support. i think i'm going to go with my friends, but i know i'll feel regret either way. i think i'm going to try and see her again later, though. in the next four years, hopefully, and i've also dreamed of going back after college for a gap year writing articles about the whole organization of orphanages and seeing my goddaughter be in college and her smile and seeing my friend who's fluent in english and whom we all suspected was gay comfortable in himself and happy, also in university. i know they all come from rough backgrounds, but pero espero con EVERYTHING that el malo es gone for good.

sí, es muy dificil para ellos, pero creo ellos están feliz cuando ven tú...
tbh i would go with the same thing :) it sounds like you have a pretty good plan there. (also sorry about my spanish it's pretty bad isn't it)

aww quierida, gracias, es de mucho importante para me. y no, quierida, tu español es perfecto. no puedo leer un poquito de que escribiste. MI español es malo.

(about 95% sure i messed up half of those sentences)

lol es no malo, yo creo. posible. yo no se, porque yo no leo español. (yo tengo español dos este semestre, y no es facil para mi a hablo español. o leo. o escribo. o comprendo.)

yeah that was pretty bad :P

sorry i only post negative things but i just i feel like i need to separate. i'm just dead weight to my friends i feel like i just make things less fun and always say the wrong thing and my relationships have become more obligatory for my friends just because we've known each other for so long. i'm sick of weighing people down and i just feel like i need to cut myself off. i feel like it's time. i don't want to be what holds people back.

no first of all don't apologize for having sadness in your life and needing to talk about it bc we're all here to listen ALSO you are amazing ok don't you dare believe anything less of yourself. even if you aren't feeling it atm, you are really fuggin loved by everyone around you and if you were gone, there are dozens of people who would be walking around with a hole in their heart, so please try and hold on and it will get better and someday I promise you will see how much you mean to people

ahaha. It's 12:21 in the morning and I'm not tired so i decided to read while listening to music and I just really want to die and I don't want to fight anymore I just want it all to end and I'm crying and crying and im so tired of pretending I'm fine but I don't understand why people think I'm fine because I'm clearly NOT fine but no one notices so maybe its not real?

its 1:03 now. my chest hurts so damn much a searing pain that wont go away my sides hurt to this has happened before but never this bad I'm so scared ive been breathing in funny patterns too I just cant control help me help help help please help

ive got two faces

blurrys the one I'm not

i need your help to take him out

/hugs/// can u email me?? (i won't go to bed until u respond btw) my email is XxXx

haha my dad checks all of my emails that's why I'm on here in the first place

oh goodness ok
anyways i really want you to feel better ;-; please take care of yourself and eventually get some sleep ok

Hey, thanks for caring, but i just cant live anymore i don't think ill kill myself but i sure as hell wont take care of myself at least I'm not dead at least I'm not dead

i know its hard its very hard and it's very tough to see that there's any way out except dying but there rly is
so please hang in there

dammit why wasn't i here sooner, gods, stormy, i'm so so sorry i wasn't here please tell me you're okay i'm praying so hard for you just breathe okay hang in there it's going to be okay please don't do anything you'll regret just hold on please

Oh shit I'm so sorry I didn't see this but please please please take care of yourself ok? But I'm so relieved you're not planning on killing yourself ok? Please keep on drinking water and eating food and taking showers and general self care ok? It's super important and it's been proven that talk g care of yourself and making sure you're clean and full and hydrated actually helps your mental health and your mood in general. Please keep on caring for yourself and surviving ok? I know we've never met but you mean a lot to me, ok? You're a great person and I really hope you start being happier, even if it takes a very long time.

It's okay it okay I'm okay right now. I'm alive but ya know, not good. Actually just kidding I want to die people are talking about their mothers and they're trying to involve me in the conversation and I keep talking about her in passed tense and they don't notice and I miss her and I want to die but I can't kill myself it maybe I can who know I'm sorry for worrying you I'm so sorry because I'm not worth your time or anyone's time.

First of all you are 100% worth people's time. I promise. Also, I'm so sorry about those people. If they don't notice you could (if you feel okay with this) tell them upfront that your mom is dead and if they continue, tell them they're being assholes and don't apologize. If you don't feel comfortable with that though, that's ok. That's perfectly ok.

the only good to come out of these whole kp political / kp trump vs. hillary / kp debates is i know who really respects my identity and who really doesnt care abt human rights LOL

if there was a block button some of yall woulda been BLOCKDT lmao

just sayin

YES AND A BUNCH OF KIDS AT MY SCHOOL LIKE TRUMP AND IM JUSR LIKE FUCKKKK YOUUUUU

There actually is a block button though I just never used it except when I was mad at someone like in the sixth grade

/edit/ ye I just checked it's called ur ignore list and yo can hide messages from people you hate

WOAH hold up this exists brb

man oh man I am the epitome of shaky and awful today my dudes

Negative body image creeping in yikes. But like no I'm a beautiful lil bee with more to contribute than my level of attractiveness to others. I've got a few tummy rolls but they're just the canyons in my skin. There are constellations on my chest.
Praying for a soft day for all of you.

Thank you, love. You're such a beautiful inspiration I really appreciate this.

You're worth our time. You're worth everything. I don't have advice but I'm sending you love if that means anything. It might not but I just hope you know how many people care about you just on this site alone. There isn't anything I can give to you but love, sorry if that isn't enough right now but stay strong, love.

Freakoutwhydoialwaysfreakout? WHYCANTIBELIKEANORMALPERSONWHOHASREALLIFEFRIENDSWH OACTUALLYCAREABOUTMEINSTEADOFSAYINGOHWHENITELLTHEM THATTHESCARONMYHANDISSELFINFLICTED. GONEGONEGONEIMGONE
IMGOINGTOCUTAGIANANDIHATEITBUTIMTOOFULLRIGHTNOW
NOONECANHELPMEIDONTEVENDESERETOGETHELP

Stormy, I'm not Madie. I haven't fought the battle you're fighting. I can't pretend to understand, but I can't pretend to not care, either. Apparently, your friends can, and that makes me sad and angry. I think they're like me, I don't think they understand. That's not your fault.

All I know is that you are a human being and human beings suffer, and that you need help right here and right now. I hope you didn't cut, but I'm hours late, I might be too late, and if you did, then it will be okay. It's not the end of it. You'll get back up.

Madie is better than me at helping you get through this, but she's not here at this moment of this day, so here I am. I might not be able to help, but I hope it means something that I care, and I will swear to you in the name of YAHWEH ELOHIM- and I don't do that lightly- that you do deserve to get help. You are worth it.

You might think I'm just spouting lies to try to call myself a good person, but I'm not, I swear I'm not. I don't know what your beliefs are, but I believe in a God, and I believe that all humans are his children. Therefore, even though I don't know you very well, I know your life is precious, because if I know one thing in this world, it's that God loves us. It's that God loves you. You are worth loving.

are you really? let me know if you aren't, and that's all right. i won't say i know what you're going through, but i know you miss her. i've lost someone dear to me, too, but not like you have. it's hard enough. things still remind me of her. things have changed. but it gets better. well, not better, but easier.

i wonder how you've stayed strong through all this. i know i couldn't. stormy you are my inspiration. i am so damn proud of you for staying alive. it hurts to see you like this when i remember how happy you used to be. but someday you are going to be an inspiration to countless people, i know it. someday you'll be able to help people who are going through what you did once. i'm so proud of you. keep it up. you're doing great, fren. stay alive for me.

now, stop that. don't even say that, okay? you are worth my time. you do deserve me. you are valid. you are enough. i love you and i want to help you in any way i can.

listen to me, stormy, some people aren't meant to understand and you have no idea, maybe they hurt themselves too and they can't think of anything else to say because they hate that you're going through this. that's exactly how i feel. and stop that. you do deserve help. never ever blame yourself. it's perfectly okay to want help. it's perfectly okay to ask for help. it's perfectly okay to help yourself. it's perfectly okay to not know where to start. if i may, i would start by trying hard not to cut. you don't deserve those scars. you're too beautiful and incredible to do that to yourself, do you hear me? just stay strong. i'm praying for you.

I find it so ironic really. I was happy today. I smiled during French and I meant it. It wasn't pulling of my fake smile like I normally do. I don't know. It just makes me feel better. Even if its a temporary high. Even if it's bad for me.

I can't believe that you're proud of me. It seems like no one is. I actually got a D in one of my classes. Actually, not one, two. Ugh it sucks, but I can't tell you how grateful I am that you're are here. so thank you.

Thank you. thank you for trying. you don't know how much I appreciate it. I'll be happy for a few day. Then i'll get sad. It might take a month, or maybe only a week, but I'll cut again. It's a circle of pain, but it works for now.

Graystorm, I want you to know something.

I've been sort of stalking this thread; I stalk WB a lot. I haven't known what to say because I really am terrible at saying things. Really, I can't say I know what you're going through, but I can tell you that I really do appreciate and love you. I don't know you well and yet I think you're amazing. Your writing is great, your music taste is great. I've always wanted to talk to you.

The fact that you're hurting hurts me. What you're going through is everyone's worst nightmare. I can't tell you that I've felt what you've felt because I haven't. But you will get through this because you're so much more powerful than you know. Just because your friends are shitty doesn't mean you're shitty too. Sit at a new table at lunch if you want. It might just change your life.

I want you to know that if you feel like nobody cares, if you think you're unloved, there's a random girl in Ohio who loves you. I mean that with all of my heart. Treat yourself and be selfish and ask for help because in this time you deserve love more than anyone else.

I love you. Stay safe.

Hey did you know that forcing yourself to smile for sixty seconds actually helps improve your mood? It's good to smile and force yourself to even if you're sad. You're helping yourself out. Don't ever blame yourself for that

Today, I cried. A lot. Not because anything bad happened, but because I legitimately just had the best three days of my life. Now, I know what I want to do with my life.
If you ever have the experience to do the business program "ECOMAN", I don't know if they do it in non-european/australian countries, please do it if you hav the chance. For me at least, it gave me a lot more knowledge and allowed me to meet someone I really enjoy being around (yes, I cried because I'm probably never going to see him again). I feel so fuckin lucky that I had this experience

Ahahaha so today is mountain day which means the whole school goes hiking all day and first I was left behind by everyone so I was waking alone with my knees hurting a ton and then there's some seniors who give out apple cider at the lookout and then tell you how to get to midpoint which is where everyone eats lunch and they told me to walk ten minutes down the highway. So I walked ten minutes down the highway and there was absolutely nothing that seemed remotely like a midpoint so I texted someone and asked her where midpoint was. It was right across the parking lot from the apple cider kids. Maybe one hundred feet. Not even on the highway. So I walked back and I was the last person to midpoint and by then everyone was already leaving so lol no lunch for me! And I've been left behind again haha

tomorrow is the moment of truth. tomorrow i take the map test, which will pretty much determine my future.

because if i don't get a near perfect score on this test, they won't even let me try for selective enrollment, and if i don't get into a selective enrollment school, then i'll have to go to a neighborhood school or a private school and i'd feel bad about the latter because my current private school is SO expensive but the options for private high school are even more expensive, plus my eldest sister is going to college in two years and my mom is switching jobs so we might not have much money to spare. not to mention that private/neighborhood schools aren't as prestigious as a selective enrollment public one and it's harder to get into college because they're unrecognizable.

the test is tomorrow and i am so not ready. i was doing the practice test today and i got like SO MANY questions wrong on the math because math freaking sucks and i didn't do THAT well on the reading even though it's my strongest subject.

i don't know. i'm really scared.

i almost cut myself yesterday, and over algebra. i just got so powerless and exhausted with the damn thing. how stupid is that. the thing that stopped me was gerard way's quote, "nothing is worth hurting yourself over" and i wrote that on my leg instead of cutting it up. try to find something that makes you not want to cut. punish yourself by not cutting, if that's what you're looking for.

darlin, i am...a D's not so bad, all right? and your grades will never represent your intelligence or anything about you. they really don't matter. what matters is that you've stayed alive and you've stayed as strong as you can through this. that's why i'm proud of you.