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Your mom will chill eventually, plus getting back to school will get you away from that environment and summers almost over! oh btw how are the meds going if you don't mind me asking? Everything good? (You can email me if you don't want to talk about it here, or just ignore me if I'm prying lol ) |
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but also now I'm seeing a therapist and that's awful and I have to keep going because I really want to try and study abroad and I was going to start that this summer but my mom told me I wasn't pretty enough to get in to the program and that even if I did get in I wouldn't be allowed to go because I'm not mentally stable enough. so while theres nothing I can do about not being pretty enough if I want a chance at being allowed to try next summer (which will be a lot harder because i'll be older) I will have to meet her bullshit "mentally stable" guidelines which so far seem to be that I have to be on meds for a while, that I can't ever be sad, anxious, or "lazy", that I don't have any scars which is bullshit because I never told her about mine and she never confronted me about them besides from yelling over completely unrelated things, and that I have to be going to therapy for over a year. and I don't know if its even possible for me to continue therapy once I go back to school |
when you wake up and your throat feels so weird so you go back to sleep thinking it'd go away and you wake up with a deeper voice. help. I sound like Ty from Grossology now. (doesn't need advice for this I just wanted to let it out :C)
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O SNap IM A seniOR MEMBER NOw :oOooo |
My best internet friend started annoying me so much now.
After a fight with her friends that came out of no where because I thought they were acting drunk, she kept on trying to apologize and why does she need to, idk. The last time we spoke was today and rn. She started trying to apologize when I was in the middle of a roleplay. When I told her to go away she said "make me". I said the only thing I can do is block her for a while because I'm not in the mood. And she said "If you block me I'll unfriend you." I didn't respond. Since I wasn't in the mood and she already knew that she decided to make me even more angry and unfriend me. Idk why?? She's just being retarded for a minute because she wants to keep idiots on her friends list and never have someone just like her on there? I shouldn't call her my bff anymore smh her new friends have made her an idiot just like them. |
Waiting and possibly frustration
this is only because Luna is on but not posting on my nes... *hintity hint hint hint*
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On account of your frustrations... have you told her that she doesn't need to apologize? She might have thought you were still mad and was only trying to make up for it. Admittedly, her timing could've been better but sometimes inconvenient things happen. A calmer way to have dealt with the situation may have been to tell her that you're busy at the moment and that you can talk later rather than just 'go away'. Anyways, if you really value the friendship, try talking it out. It may not work out, unfortunately these things sometimes happen. But it's worth a shot, isn't it? Strong friendships are built off of mutual understanding, and it'll never get better if you don't talk it out and explain how you feel. Welp, that's my thoughts on the matter. I hope I helped some/wasn't being too terribly annoying. Have a nice day! |
my hands are shaking for no reason and also I have the random urge to self harm lol. Can't concentrate on the fanfic I'm reading but don't want to slep
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We soon became bffs again after this X). |
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Ena ena ena you're fab you're awesome why do you wanna self harm?? |
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well yup my mom woke me up by yelling about the scars???stretch marks??? on my back. 1) I have no fucking idea where these are from.
2) even if they were scars this is not something you yell at your child for I hate everything and I want to go back to school right now |
don't you just love???? when therapy was actually ok???? and then your dad decides to make you sit in the car for 40 minutes while he talks about how hard it is for him to have a child who doesn't fucking like to be touched???? and then he talks about how you should never have to hide anything but should be ok with being deeply uncomfortable and unhappy for the sake of your parents feelings???? and the big thing is I'm perfectly fine with being touched at least half of the time! like yeah I don't like it but its ok and then when I don't want to be touched and they yell and get angry and want to drug me up so that I do then I'm the one who has to convince them that I love them
also my therapist told me that maybe I should cut off all contact with my parents when I turn eighteen so therapy is not going the way they thought it would. |
its my birthday and I'm spending the day with my extended family (I love some of them but together its bad) my brother, and his racist and homophobic friends. also if I don't find a friend to have a sleepover with tomorrow night ill have to spend the day in our tiny apartment w/ my brother and even more of his racist, sexist, and homophobic friends.
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I'm not gonna tell you it's not gonna suck because I don't know that but it'll be over soon lol I'm bad at comfort |
i sometimes don't know what happened irl vs in dreams lmao
(also fucuk homeworkk I hate myself) |
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but good thing is I can go to a friend's house tomorrow night so that's a relief but I still have to spend the day w/ brother and his friends |
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also HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! (late?) I hope your bday doesn't suck super bad, but in case it does is there anything I could do to make it suck less? |
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Are you feeling mcfucking better? Would you like some fluffy kittens? ^^^ where did you get mcfucking from btw? I'm curious. (Ironic use i am not stealing it) |
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probably tumblr?? although i like to imagine it as the embodiment of my son and favorite bakugou katsuki TBH uh lol idk what better is, what are emotions, however fluffy kittens are always welcome |
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this post pisses my off so much fuck off @13yo me ur an INTJ and he's probably most likely an ENTJ and he's literally you and your fave and you hate them folks you used to root for (because he's better and more relatable of course) "you confuse me" JOKES ON YOU BITCH SIX MONTHS LATER AND YOULL LITERALLY BE HIM EXCEPT WITH NO FRIENDS LMAO what am I doing? distracting myself from literally everything else |
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1) he doesn't get to have the title of kouhai (he also doesn't deserve to breathe so easy but ay lmao) 2) congrats ur bakugouness continues to get better and worse after this and so do your oikawaisms lmao |
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ha |
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lol who cares all you neurotypical cishet losers can fucking fuck off and die, you don't understand what it's like to have a thirst for greatness ya useless fucking extras |
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I think tooru and seijuurou came into my being through emulation and admiration and intensifying traits that lay beneath the surface + changes in environment
but I've been 100% katsuki and saruhiko 100% the entire time |
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Hm hm, 'bakugou' makes me think of bakugon. Ah, right in the childhood. Lel fluffy kittens coming right up |
great I have to go spend 3 days at the shore in a shitty motel w/ my mom, brother, two family friends who are awful and racist/sexist/homophobic/anti Semitic and I want to die. last year they got so angry at me for taking a video of them I had to lock myself in the bathroom after my brother scratched me up and shit and then my mom was angry that I used so many bandaids. also last year their mom brought her friend from Germany and her son and they were really nice but my brother and his friend kept yelling at them when they spoke german and kept calling them Nazis (um you're Austrian how is that any better than german fucking hitler was Austrian) even though they are the ones who make holocaust jokes and then yell at me when I explain why they can't do that and that its fucked up
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it wasn't great but not awful and my aunts girlfriend put my brothers friend in handcuffs briefly and that was great |
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oh and for your trip to the shore maybe you could get your therapist's number so you can call him/her if things get really uncomfortable? Also if you have internet there you know you can always come and vent on here which won't help much but it might make you feel better ^^^sorry that's the best I can offer ono |
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thanks for your help though! |
fuck so my brother is having a sleepover with all his asshole friends here and my phone is dead and I lost the charger (probably at my friend's house) and theres no other charger for it here and my parents wont buy another one and so theres no way for me to get out of here before they come and I'm going to have to sleep in my parents room but id literally rather wander around this sketchy af city alone (but of course I'm not allowed to do that) than be anywhere near any of the people that are going to be in this house tonight.
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just got blood on my white shorts. what's more. my white rakuzan shorts. I hate myself.
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I feel like everyone is getting asked to homecoming except me. Scratch that. Everyone higher on the social hierarchy is getting asked, which feels almost worse. It is not hard to be higher up on the social hierarchy than me. What am I doing wrong?
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