The Writer's Block

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-   -   Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

BookKitty 01-25-2017 01:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by july3girl (Post 594025)
because society has this standard that to be strong and "manly" and not girly and weak we can't show people we love them (because we're not supposed to love anyone.), and we know that when we're drunk we're considered not responsible for our actions and as human beings we desire to be connected to others so if you can only get that through drinking that why wouldn't you?

or at least that's what this documentary i watched said.

you ok? like re said, make sure you're taking care of yourself. drink some water, eat some food, stay safe.

(also @re you're so lovely thanks for your words and i love your approach to cutting you are truly an inspiration)


thank u ur so sweet and kind. you got it pretty much exactly right.... i dont want 2 be responsible i want to let go and be stupid

BookKitty 01-25-2017 01:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 594032)
now THIS is what I call relatable content

Sooo it's my second day back at school, full-time boy lol. It was going great until this kid made fun of my voice when we introduced ourselves. I said my name and he laughed and I heard him say "it has a high pitched voice" and then this other kid laughed at that. Also, I hate school and if it weren't so important I would drop out. High school has been the worstyears of my life so far and I feel like it's only getting worse. No amount of medication can fix this. No amount of fuckin iron pills can fix my energy levels. Nothing can fix the fact that I think about skipping most of my lessons...

I feel broken and I can't stop thinking "school might be better if I turned up drunk or high or literally anything else"... I can't stop thinking about what could have been, maybe if my extreme fucking gender dysphoria didn't exist, maybe if people could take me seriously even with this fucking voice, maybe if I didn't spend all my money and time on video games, maybe if I was naturally talented...

Maybe if I was actually worth something, would life be better.

god im so sorry your dysphoria is so bad and that things r shitty rn. im srsly here for you-even if you think there's nothing i can do to help. i understand that mentality of wanting to show up drunk/high to school...,,, tbh i've shown up high everyday this week. but u have to stop comparing yourself to things so often and thinking about "what ifs". try to relax, talk to a counselor or a friend for even just a few minutes. i dont want to be hypocritical though bc i often don't take my own advice....but that's the best thing to do. just breathe please you're worth so much

BookKitty 01-25-2017 01:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SilverMoon (Post 594020)
why r u drinking???

also why do I lack so much empathy that I'm just like "if X experiences drugs, alcohol, smoking, sex, etc. I only care s I can get references fr write"



i'm drinkin cause im sad and i like kissing people lol

pluzzle 01-25-2017 04:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BookKitty (Post 594037)
god im so sorry your dysphoria is so bad and that things r shitty rn. im srsly here for you-even if you think there's nothing i can do to help. i understand that mentality of wanting to show up drunk/high to school...,,, tbh i've shown up high everyday this week. but u have to stop comparing yourself to things so often and thinking about "what ifs". try to relax, talk to a counselor or a friend for even just a few minutes. i dont want to be hypocritical though bc i often don't take my own advice....but that's the best thing to do. just breathe please you're worth so much

thank you livi <3 life's just hard ya feel..

edit: when ya mental illness makes you lose friends

Graystorm 01-25-2017 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Swallowtail (Post 593998)
i need to stop telling people not to cut if I can't even do that myself

Oh no, honey, I'm so sorry I wasn't here sooner. God I want to make it all better. I do. I really wish I do. Please please please text or call me if you need me or think I can help. I hope it gets better. I really do.

meerkat 01-25-2017 10:00 PM

happy vent time
 
i'M FOURTH CHAIR

Swallowtail 01-25-2017 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graystorm (Post 594075)
Oh no, honey, I'm so sorry I wasn't here sooner. God I want to make it all better. I do. I really wish I do. Please please please text or call me if you need me or think I can help. I hope it gets better. I really do.

Hey you can't blame yourself for me fucking up ok? It's ok and I'm going to be ok. Thank you though. You're so nice and wonderful

Gracithe1andonly 01-25-2017 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BookKitty (Post 594038)
i'm drinkin cause im sad and i like kissing people lol

hey I have seen what drinking too young can do to someone's life close up and man you do not deserve to go through what my sister did, livi. she's getting better but things are nowhere near 'normal' or even 'okay.'

I know you might feel like you have control- and maybe you do- but that is a slippery slope man and it is so easy to lose it all. it is so easy to lose it and think you still have it.

please stop and wait until you're legal because then your body will be a little more solid and less likely to adapt itself around the drink. and even then be careful. ten percent of people roughly are hardwired to be addicts. most people get drunk and have a hangover and don't ever wanna do it again. if you're in the ten percent you get drunk and have all the nasty experiences then come out of it asking "so when can I do that again?"

I am not an expert, but I've picked up a couple things, and having watched one addict jump off the metaphorical cliff and slowly start putting things back together, I can't watch someone else do it and say nothing.

love ya

Frostblaze 01-29-2017 08:58 PM

ok so I highkey wanna tell someone that I haven't really stopped cutting but
  • my parents have been no help
  • my grandma freaked out when i told her about the first time three years ago
  • i promised my sister i wouldnt so it again
  • but
  • I have a friend in college and I think I could call her like she's always been so nice and helpful and she is the kindest human being ever
  • but like
  • she's the kindest human being ever
  • I can't burden her with this like she's in college she doesn't need to worry about me anyway
  • but
  • I have cut more times in the past 8 months than I have in the past two years
  • that's bad
  • I'm not getting better
  • I wanna tell someone
  • I need someone to talk to I need someone to stop cutting for someone it'll be hard to lie to someone I won't want to hurt because that's just what I do best right
  • but
  • I can't hurt these people it's just better to let them think I'm fine that I've been clean for two years instead of two weeks

So yeah I'm just Really really really scared

Swallowtail 01-29-2017 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frostblaze (Post 594163)
ok so I highkey wanna tell someone that I haven't really stopped cutting but
  • my parents have been no help
  • my grandma freaked out when i told her about the first time three years ago
  • i promised my sister i wouldnt so it again
  • but
  • I have a friend in college and I think I could call her like she's always been so nice and helpful and she is the kindest human being ever
  • but like
  • she's the kindest human being ever
  • I can't burden her with this like she's in college she doesn't need to worry about me anyway
  • but
  • I have cut more times in the past 8 months than I have in the past two years
  • that's bad
  • I'm not getting better
  • I wanna tell someone
  • I need someone to talk to I need someone to stop cutting for someone it'll be hard to lie to someone I won't want to hurt because that's just what I do best right
  • but
  • I can't hurt these people it's just better to let them think I'm fine that I've been clean for two years instead of two weeks

So yeah I'm just Really really really scared

hey I know how you feel I guess. No one I've ever seen face to face knows I've ever cut and I am currently in a situation where I can't let them know. But please reach out to someone about this. Let them know first that you have something important you want to tell them but if they don't want to or don't feel comfortable with being a person you can confide in that's ok. that way you won't have to feel so guilty about it.
Also I know this is a short term solution but maybe try drawing where you cut in sharpie when you're feeling well. get a pack of the really skinny ones in many colors and draw a flower garden or something where you know you'd want to cut eventually. I know this only helps some people but tbh it's really helped me and even though I'm awful at advice I really want you to be ok


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