The Writer's Block - Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain.

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- - Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

Current mood: Torn between hating therapy and needing therapy

Quote:

Originally Posted by july3girl (Post 590731)

ok ok someone needs to find out someone who can help you in real life because you are worth helping. you are worth it. you deserve to live and i know you don't think that but we all know. a whole lot of a people know that. please do not kill yourself. you need to live so that you can see the seasons change and the colors move and you need to live so that you can live on this earth that somehow got things just right that we could live on it. you need to live because there are amazing things in your future that i believe you can do if you just make it through. there is a reason that you are still here. there is a reason you ran out of water. there is a reason and you need to remember that.

i cannot express the importance of this enough.

please let yourself get help, stormy

Quote:

Originally Posted by july3girl (Post 590722)

i honestly don't know what to say. like you actually acknowledging me is just so effing lovely. i'm sorry you ever felt like i did cause i mean it's pretty effing bad lol and i'm sorry that that happened to you. thank you for acknowledging me.

everyone deserves to be acknowledged

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gracithe1andonly (Post 590725)

I've noticed that Ena isn't a nice person, and I also know that Ena might not approve of this relation, but Jesus wasn't a "nice" person either. He was downright rude and made all the higher-ups suspicious and angry. He got killed for it. But he also did so much good and I can see so much good in Ena's hands. Ena can set this world on fire, which will be uncomfortable for the world. But then, don't you know how a forest grows after a fire? I guess my point is that Ena isn't nice, but Ena is good. I've wanted to talk to Ena about Ena for a while, but I've kept my mouth shut out of fear. I'm something of a coward at the best of times. I'm working on it.

Thank you.

i know nobody's gonna love me cause im trans

and i know some of yall dont think sex is a big deal but my thoughts are frequently hypersexual and

i'm so so so scared i'm never gonna find anyone that i'm both sexually attracted to and romantically attracted to and they are attracted to me both ways as well

idk if i'm still demiromantic

but i'm so scared nobody i'm attracted to will find me attractive just because i'm trans. and also because i'm trans but i don't fit expectations. i'm a trans guy who also happens to be feminine and i'm so scared nobody will find me attractive because of that .

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graystorm (Post 590713)

I tried to kill myself. I didn't get far. I didn't end up in the hospital. No one found out. But I did try. I just ran out of water.

Listen.

I don't know you, and don't particularly like you (because it's hard to like someone you know nothing about), but no one deserves to die. I mean, hell, it's gonna happen to all of us someday, but no one deserves to die.

Why do you want to die? I'm not up to date with your situation. When I wanted to die, better, they never will.
If you don't try, you won't get-- life isn't a Good Samaritan.

Yeah, life sucks sometimes, but I swear to God that it doesn't always.

I hope things get better for you, although I don't know how to help.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 590738)

I know a little bit about this so I'll do my best to answer
Honestly, I sometimes feel like I'm never going to get married. I know I'll never have kids. There are lots of times when I think that I'm too socially anxious to ever meet a soulmate, especially among gay guys. Obviously, your situation seems harder, but nothing should stop you from finding a partner if you surround yourself in the right environment. Will it be difficult? Sure, but it's doable.

Since you're trans with some feminine characteristics, pansexuals would make a perfect fit. The door is actually open to straight guys, gay guys, straight girls, bi people, etc; and even if you *still* can't find a match, there's plenty who would be happy to be in a platonic relationship.

If it's still an issue, you could consider gender reassignment surgery when you're older, but even if you don't want to there's still lots of options. Maybe you could join some LGBT groups or a dating app?

Sorry if this wasn't helpful :/ I'm not good at advice. but good luck!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 590738)

I don't experience sexual attraction, but plenty of people do.
Sure, I'm so so scared that I'll never find a 'soulmate', be it platonic, romantic, whatever. But there are 7 billion people on this planet-- some might say too many-- and let's say only 0.05% of the population are people you could be both sexually and romantically attracted to. That's still 3.5 million people. So maybe that's less than the total population of Puerto Rico, but it's still a damn lot of people.

ALL PEOPLE ARE BEAUTIFUL. Yeah, sure, humans are ugly-- especially inside. But they're also FUCKING BEAUTIFUL, and that includes ALL trans people. Just because you're trans doesn't mean you're any less valid. If a cis guy who's 'feminine' can have someone attracted to them-- and I personally know occasions like this-- then so can you. I know (not 'am friends with' because I don't do that, but know) a good chunk of "feminine" guys, and I think I know two trans guys who would be considered "feminine", and one of them has a boyfriend and one of them's not looking for a partner, if that means anything.

I fear not being able to find the person whom I would consider my "soulmate". But I believe that there is someone out there who is just right for you, be it in a familial sense, a platonic sense, a romantic sense, whatever. You CAN find that person. They're out there somewhere.

(there may be multiple soulmates, too. if there are 1750 people (0.0025% of the population) who could be your soulmate, you can find one of them. If they're your soulmate, they'll be easier to find, because you'll have common ground. )

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ember (Post 590687)

I feel myself paling. like I'm just bleached out colors. there isn't any of myself left in here. I used to think beautifully. now I watch the night fall and think to myself how pleasant it is to fall away.
I can't speak right now I'm sorry nevermind.

hey this might be a little late but i hope you feel more colorful soon b/c your a lovely person and you deserve to have lovely thoughts.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 590738)

I know exactly how you feel. I don't know how to fix it other than to tell you what I think - I genuinely think there is someone, or multiple people, out there destined to fall in love with another. No matter gender identity, sexual orientation or gender expression, there is someone out there. I know you're a great person, you're cute too - there is going to be someone out there that loves you for who you are. And even if you never find them, it's not the end of the world.