oops so a kid at my school somehow found out about my scars and shit and she talked to me and I was so rattled that I didn't realize that she said she noticed them on my arms before there were any on my arms?? so she must be mixing me up with another freshman girl but it's too late to back out now and I'm scared she'll tell faculty even though she probably won't but if she does I'm fucked

Thanks Re for the encouragement. (By the way, sometimes I really want to clean my room too (it's usually a wreck), so you're not alone there! :) )

Random room cleaning buddies, yay *internet high five*

(@Re) Yaaay! *after the virtual high five dances around a little*
(@Swallowtail) I'm sorry to hear that! I hope she doesn't tell...
(@Owen) Don't worry, I care :)

(wow I'm never on) I do this too haha I just cleaned my room/wardrobe/bathroom in two hours to distract myself and I find it helps a lot when you're stressed, makes your space calmer.

I can see not everyone is doing well but I hope everyone has something good happen to them this week!

"it gets better"
okay but t's been like 4 years and it's just ?????? one problem after another

So it doesn't get better, but you learn to adapt better, i guess?

I noticed you don't seem to get replies much, and i don't know you well, but do you prefer it that way? not having replies, i mean.
Idon'tknowhowtophrasethatlessawkwardlysorry
ijustknowthatsomepeopledon'talwayswantresponses.

i feel like i have adapted, but every so often it just becomes too much to bear.

im not particularly lookking for responses. im just using this place as a sort of diary i guess lmao. but ill be grateful if someone does reply,

Lost. Depressed. Alone. Ashamed. Possibly addicted to Cutting. Messed up. Done.
 

Well, I don't know. I really don't. Cutting is just how it is now. It's a relief. I try to stop. I really do. But I can't. IT just feels so good to strike it against my skin, and watching the blood burble up is like "Ha, you deserved it". I found a sharper weapon, and*I'm better at hiding them now. And I try to do things that will make me happy and stop when I'm at my limit, but when I do, people attack me for it. I just don't know anymore.

happy vent: i love my girlfriend

Hello, lovely one, I'm rooting for you.

This is hard. This is very, very hard. I can't teach you what you need to know to get past this, because I don't know.
I offer you this- I know someone that's fighting a battle like yours and she's still alive and fighting.
I think you may need to ask for in-real-life attention and help at this point, because all I can do is offer encouraging words. As for what KidPub can do to help, I think that AlgebraAddict, Esther, will probably have some very good ideas for coping strategies.

From what I know, have been taught, have seen, you are not deserving of suffering. You are made beautiful and unique. I've been taught that every person in this world is here to fulfil a mission. Do not destroy yourself, Rainbow, because if you do, there will not be another Rainbow to replace you. Everything you are and might have been will be lost. You are necessary.

Even though I don't know you very well, we've met a few times in KidMUD. I'm growing fond of you.

I love you. I wish you great joy.

My whole family wants me to change my name for the 1000th time cause there's a distant relative w/ the name Theo. I've met him once and he's 3/4... I'm not sure whether they're right lmao, it's making me upset bc they said I'm causing grief in the family and they support me but not my name lol. Some people on reddit suggested that I use a middle name w/ them instead, but if I'm sure on Theo then that's what my legal first name could be. Only trouble is I need a good MN... aghhghffjfgh why is life tough.

well I couldn't go on a day trip to go pet baby animals because I was crying in the gatehouse basement, then had to go see my family so yeah. good day.

don't provoke me and I'm harmless,,, ,,,, , it ain't my fault it yours

it's been really scary lately.

i just found out that my best friend is cutting herself.
my friends from choir is very emotionally unstable and has tried to commit suicide.
there have been so many suicides in my area recently, including a freshman from a local private school.
many of my friends are really struggling with depression and they don't know what to do.

I am lost. How do I help? I feel so helpless, so sad for them. My heart is broken for them and I have no clue to help. do you guys have any suggestions? ik most of you have been through this stuff/have friends who have and I never even guessed that so many of my friends were going through this and i want to say the right things and help effectively. I cannot stand on the sidelines any more. anything that would help, please please let me know.

Helpful advice - Life is worth living
 

Hey! In case you get around to reading this, I'm here to offer a little bit of guidance if you'd like.

While I've never had friends who considered self harm seriously, I knew this one person who mentioned suicide as a thought nonchalantly.

Story time: This person got me alarmed. Like, right off the bat, I began to ask her questions so I could find a reason. She had spoken about it to a group of others I knew and didn't bother to fill me in. After understanding her personal cause of behavior, I deduced that she was just throwing the word "suicide" around.

Although upset, I took that moment to teach her: She just shouldn't speak of suicide so lightly. That stuff is heavy and has consequences! I made sure that I was there for her as a friend whether if she meant it or not.

So, the point of that story is to connect it to yours. If YOUR friend/friends are actually serious about self harm and are looking for a way out, remind them of the aftermath. You'd be sad and I'm sure their families would be sad. The community would be sad. Show them the things life is worth living for. Just when you think you aren't being helpful, you truly are by caring.

The title "friend" isn't there for nothing. Real friends lift each other up and encourage one another to keep going. They should be able to listen to your words as you tell them suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Convince them with the powerful words of a writer. Compose an individual speech for each and every one of your friends who may be suicidal. Do whatever it takes to make them open their eyes. It gets better.

Good luck. I was passionate about this post, so I hope you can see how these tips may be useful. :)

hey thanks a lot :) that means a ton and it does help! i appreciate how much thought you put into it!!

@autumn yoo my dude u should respond to my email

as someone who was highkey suicidal but is now only lowkey suicidal tbh i never really thought people would care. like if i killed myself, i'd be doing myself and everyone else a favor. and sure, in the beginning, when my friends told me positive things and validated me, it helped. but now, it feels sappy and cheesy and insincere. i hate it when people tell me that things will get better, because for some people, it doesnt. you just have to find a way to cope. and i hate when people tell me how worthy and good i am, it makes me feel sick and i hate it. after dealing with mental illness and suicidal ideation for like 6 years, people telling me how much they care about me just sounds like noise. doesnt mean shit.

tbh this past winter the only thing that kept me alive was the knowledge that my cats would be thrown outside and fed crappy food if i werent around. i stuck around for the cats.

that being said, superj's advice might still work confuzzled. i was just sharing my perspective bc what might work for some might not work for others

oh my gosh i thought you stopped responding lol i've been refreshing like every hour the past couple of days but it must not have gone through!! do you mind sending again? THANK YOU

do you mind if i ask you what would help now? like if there's even small things like bringing food or watching a movie with you or something?

good question! i didnt even think abt that.

so usually if im feeling like people are better off without me, i tend to self isolate. however, if i'm just feeling really bad and anxious , sometimes ill reach out to my friends and ask them to distract me. it helps both online and/or in real life for them to just talk to me about anything thats not particularly negative or overly positive. just neutral stuff. like talk to me about a movie or a tv show you recently saw, your newest project, what youre reading, something cute or funny that your pets did, even just describing what you did today. literally anything to distract me and calm me down.

as always, ask your friend if that kind of stuff would help bc although it might help me it might not help them. hope this is helpful to u

Maybe someone can answer this question:

What should you do if someone you know is talking about killing themself
and everyone else you know is making fun and not realizing that they have feelings too? idk. Because, it could be serious, or it could not be so serious.
Maybe i'm over reacting.

okay, no one cares, that's totally fine! :(

@sally just tell them that they're loved and you'd miss them if they weren't there, even if it sounds like a joke it would still help.

thanks. I just need support. U know what I mean?

tell your friend that you are not going to judge them and that you are there to listen if they ever need to talk to someone. even if everyone else makes fun of your friend, you can still be there for your friend and your friend may be grateful to have someone who takes them seriously.

I HATE BEING THE WORST I HATE BEInG BEHIND WHY CANT I EVER WIN LIKE I NEED TO

i'm the opposite, but i see where you're coming from.
If you wanted you could try telling your friends something like 'hey thanks for trying but that doesn't really help.'
^
That's probably not a good way to phrase it, but do you know what i mean? Like maybe just mention to them you feel criticized by their advice and they'll hopefully adjust their advice-giving.

you know when a friend is actively trying to help you and get you to bed but all you can do is sit on the stairs and stare blankly at the wall for a few minutes and then you feel awful because yes

hahahaha I need to do my English hw but........ ,,,,,,

It's okay to be that way sometimes, no one's gonna begrudge you for it. It happens.

Saint Paul said something to one of his jailors once that I think is very relevant to life

"Do no harm to yourself; we are all here." (Acts 16:28)

Ask Them Whats Wronggggggggggg Chiald And Ask Them Politely Why They Are Cutting.

why do my best friendships always end up turning to shit

that's vague and unfortunate sounding.
if you want to vent more about it you can always email me (zelda1gypsy@hotmail.com)

no thanks. it's fine.

I don't know what to say other than "ugh that's awful" but that's not... all that helpful?

man my parents don't yell at each other but my little brother occasionally blows his top so cheers to sitting and doing something else and trying to stay out of the way of angry siblings


in other news
I never freaking agreed to this and now I have more life than I know what to do with *thumbs up lol*