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ugh well i'm pathetic. scared by a little needle. not wanting to listen to parents. parents who're strict. friends who're horrible. Giving up on things. Not fighting. Dealing with living. Pressure. I wish for the day I can take flight. I'm glad for this place to vent, really. ignore this. |
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your daily reminder to smile, have some water, and feel good! |
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Thanks. |
i dont know what to do anymore
like i would talk to people about this but i want them to talk to me first bc otherwise im just another needy little shit in their life and then theyll start to hate me and talk about me behind my back i know how taht ends i dont want to lose her i odnt want ot lose her but i dont know how i can keep thsi iup |
I put a book on my desk as a reminder...
So, i was considering going back to the terrible ballet class for the rest of the week and I wanted to find one of my favorite books to encourage me. It's called "The Silver Slippers" and it's about a young ballet dancer who gets a necklace with Silver Slippers to help her do well in her first recital. For some reason, I couldn't find it and that was extremely disappointing. But in the process, I found "Harold and the Purple Crayon". I knew that I had seen this several places before (the characters, the crayon, the book itself) but I could never remember the story. So I sat down and read it. I feel like I'm about to cry because all I could think was "this is what I want to do". I want to use my imagination to create something innocent and inspiring like this; I wanted to be as creative of an artist as this man was; I didn't want to dance anymore. So I'm overwhelmed with this happy realization that this is what I would rather do and it makes me very relieved to be able to find something like this when I needed it most. Of course, if you're reading this, then you're probably bored and there's a good reason for that. I'm writing this for me. I'm putting this "story" out there so that, next time I feel like forcing myself into something, I can clearly see what it is I really want to do. Of course, if you feel you want to read the book now, go right ahead; it's a lovely book. And so very, very inspiring. I've also been feeling really crappy lately (freakin' hormones) but "relief" cannot even begin to describe how good I feel right now.
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@blosom and Nikki
ehey thanks for the support guys I just wasn't having a great day I'll be fine tho c: |
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seventeen. just like ugh it sucks having to bottle it up. eh yeah i'm p sure i'm not going to and it def wouldn't be a regular thing. |
HAHAHAH Fuck my life so hard
i don't even know what i'm going to do if me and sam fall apart |
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i pretty much hate all my family except my brother and sister and cousins and i can't go back to my mum's. fuck ifeellikecuttingagain |
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