when ur teach is like you need to start paying attention and listening and doing ur hw and ur like. im gonna kill myself so why does it matter... fuck off.... i hate school

(if u dont want me 2 quote thts fine)
bro. what the fuck bro. i know this exact feeling so i really wish you werent feeling it rn. my entire seventh grade consisted of "ill be dead soon enough so why does it matter." it was awful. hell, most of my current school year consists of that. so i mean if u wanna kno ur not alone, u got me. i hope u start feeling better and i know how hard it can be to pay attention. i'm not saying either of those things lightly, i genuinely hope you dont kill yourself because i need you here. i would be devastated if something happened and so would so many other people. also i can't concentrate for shit and you know that so yeah ur not alone man. im sorry this is happening to u u dont deserve it at all!!!

mmmm thnk u ;; id b devastatatedif anything happened to u too :'( honestly its just little things like people being patronising that set me off and im like lol oh well im gonna be FUCKING DEAD.. hienstly

ugh im tired and sad and empty and i'm so mad at myself for being a disappointment and everything is pointless nothing feels right and i'm so scared and i don't even know why

lol literally what is this i'm just so angry at myself bec i want to be happy i should be happy everyone wants me to be happy but i can't it doesn't work i'm so angry at me and the universe and everything but mostly im just sad for no reason whatsoever and just idek

also i keep shakign whenever i get nervous/very upset/idk and what's up with that lmao

i no longer have any ambition. it's left me and i'm afraid it won't come back. i can't write anymore and all i want to do is read and watch supernatural and i honestly don't care anymore about my future or anything else and i can't even muster the energy to do my homework and why should i i will never use algebra in my life i will never care about the literacy rates of cameroon frick why is this so difficult i just want it all to end or slow down for a little while just slow down so i can figure this out. i don't want to grow up i don't want to stay where i am i'm afraid i'm so goshdang afraid and i don't know if i care that much anymore because even while i'm writing this i know i don't feel afraid i don't feel anything but tired.

omg i know how that is and lemme tell you something
it's just a phase. it comes and goes. i used to want to be depressed all the time and sometimes still do although when it actually happens its horrible and all i want is for it to leave but at the same time i dont ?? idk its very confusing
but hey. dont feel bad for not being depressed. dont think that its normal to be depressed. its not. if youre not depressed then feel good about it bc theres no other time to :))))))) i know its hard when you already have a mentality that wont go away but give it time. it will eventually fade
just focus on what you think is important in life and dont care about whether people think youre a hormonal teenager bc honestly thats not exactly a good label xD you have an awesome future planned and you will get there and everything will fall into place in the end
it may sound cliche, but it happens. it will. just hang on and try to wait that icky phase out <33333333333 /eternal glomp/

idek it's just that i want to be able to relate to these vents and stuff but i simply can't because everything fits in so well now and i feel bad that i can't help people other than say things like "idk do your homework" or something similar and i feel guilty for having a normal life and being a normal person and i honestly don't even know why i am on the emotional venting thread when emotions and venting are my two least favorite things in the world (other than broken arpeggios of course, i had to mention that) so i will fall in a random void ok bye

/reaches floofyfingers up out of void and pokes your face/

dude its rly awesome you are doing well at school and are reasonably happy!!! i would do anything to be getting a 4.0 honestly you are doing such a good job and i used to get that too until it. happened. but yeah.

apologies for the terrible "advice" TT-TT
 

hey, no, this is totally okay. i felt like this a few years back and i finally figured out why I wanted to have a feeling of depression or something like that. it was so if I was sad, there would be a quick fix. so i wouldn't have to wonder why i cried myself to sleep or lost my temper sometimes. of course, now it's just hormones, but hey, if you feel like you're doing alright, go ahead and keep being you

for me, knowing that someone out there is happy and content with their life and not having super huge struggles is a good thing. not to say you don't have struggles and not to say your worries are any less than someone else's. but keeping up a 4.0 gpa is super impressive and if that's a big stressor in your life, then it stresses you out a lot simple as that! You don't have to have depression or death in the family or a friend with cancer to have serious feelings, but if you're good with where you're at, you're actually making people like me feel a little better about the world around us and our future.

idk if this makes sense, but it's totally okay to feel this way and it's totally okay to have troubles/triumphs that seem different than others'