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I can't believe that you're proud of me. It seems like no one is. I actually got a D in one of my classes. Actually, not one, two. Ugh it sucks, but I can't tell you how grateful I am that you're are here. so thank you. |
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Graystorm, I want you to know something.
I've been sort of stalking this thread; I stalk WB a lot. I haven't known what to say because I really am terrible at saying things. Really, I can't say I know what you're going through, but I can tell you that I really do appreciate and love you. I don't know you well and yet I think you're amazing. Your writing is great, your music taste is great. I've always wanted to talk to you. The fact that you're hurting hurts me. What you're going through is everyone's worst nightmare. I can't tell you that I've felt what you've felt because I haven't. But you will get through this because you're so much more powerful than you know. Just because your friends are shitty doesn't mean you're shitty too. Sit at a new table at lunch if you want. It might just change your life. I want you to know that if you feel like nobody cares, if you think you're unloved, there's a random girl in Ohio who loves you. I mean that with all of my heart. Treat yourself and be selfish and ask for help because in this time you deserve love more than anyone else. I love you. Stay safe. |
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woooow my mom is great at pointlessly ruining my mood. i was in a good mood for once and could actually absorb what i was reading and was actually interested and i ask my mom if i can take breaks in between with Internet stuff and she starts yelling how me almost failing all my classes and almost not being eligible was my fault and had nothing to do with my depression and how i was "fine" and wow ggreat job now im in a shitty mood again and i ccant concentrate and i already cried thrice today great good thanks thanks pls let me get hit by a bus
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Today, I cried. A lot. Not because anything bad happened, but because I legitimately just had the best three days of my life. Now, I know what I want to do with my life.
If you ever have the experience to do the business program "ECOMAN", I don't know if they do it in non-european/australian countries, please do it if you hav the chance. For me at least, it gave me a lot more knowledge and allowed me to meet someone I really enjoy being around (yes, I cried because I'm probably never going to see him again). I feel so fuckin lucky that I had this experience |
Ahahaha so today is mountain day which means the whole school goes hiking all day and first I was left behind by everyone so I was waking alone with my knees hurting a ton and then there's some seniors who give out apple cider at the lookout and then tell you how to get to midpoint which is where everyone eats lunch and they told me to walk ten minutes down the highway. So I walked ten minutes down the highway and there was absolutely nothing that seemed remotely like a midpoint so I texted someone and asked her where midpoint was. It was right across the parking lot from the apple cider kids. Maybe one hundred feet. Not even on the highway. So I walked back and I was the last person to midpoint and by then everyone was already leaving so lol no lunch for me! And I've been left behind again haha
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tomorrow is the moment of truth. tomorrow i take the map test, which will pretty much determine my future.
because if i don't get a near perfect score on this test, they won't even let me try for selective enrollment, and if i don't get into a selective enrollment school, then i'll have to go to a neighborhood school or a private school and i'd feel bad about the latter because my current private school is SO expensive but the options for private high school are even more expensive, plus my eldest sister is going to college in two years and my mom is switching jobs so we might not have much money to spare. not to mention that private/neighborhood schools aren't as prestigious as a selective enrollment public one and it's harder to get into college because they're unrecognizable. the test is tomorrow and i am so not ready. i was doing the practice test today and i got like SO MANY questions wrong on the math because math freaking sucks and i didn't do THAT well on the reading even though it's my strongest subject. i don't know. i'm really scared. |
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darlin, i am...a D's not so bad, all right? and your grades will never represent your intelligence or anything about you. they really don't matter. what matters is that you've stayed alive and you've stayed as strong as you can through this. that's why i'm proud of you. |
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