there are no rules here on what you have to vent about. go ahead.

at the same time, if you want others to listen, you should, too. you want people to listen to you? listen to them.

hey, stormy, i just wanted to tell you im sorry sy is being such a bitch over on your poll, okay? please, just ignore her, okay? whatever you do, don't let her ruin the website for you. just listen to the rest of us, all right? im so sorry you have to deal with morons like that.

shes like, fucking ten years old. What does the bitch think she knows about life other then being so devoted to her religion and whatever the hell else. I mean, I don't think I've ever met a muslim before, and I assumed that it's not a very common religion, so why the hell does she think i'll relate more to her preaching than to everyone elses general advice? I'm just really mad. But i'm touched that you care so much. I honestly don't know what I would do without you.

but realistically? I don't want to be alive. I don't want to live. plain and simple. I have no reason, personally, that I find worth it to keep going. except maybe you. but I procrastinate. I'm procrastinating my own death. but I guess that's good.

so it's 2:45 and I can't stop listening to feeling myself? not the original, but the one by scott and mitch and it's so addictive

also, for whatever reason, I got a new deviantart account and if any of you have one you should follow me (Graystormthetopnerd)

uh im not going to comment on this because like you said, she's nine.

(but lowkey on ur side, although there shouldnt even be sides)

i just wanted to pop in to say islam is the second biggest religion

(but that doesn't mean she was right or wrong)

(i hope u find reasons to stay alive)

Ahh shit. I don't know crap about religion, so sorry about that incorrect fact.

^this
(and also sorry for responding to sy b/c i feel like that spawned a lot of crap and i could have just ignored her. but anyways i hope you find your reason to live soon, Graystorm)

i'm so fucking tired of feeling bad for posting on here. i know a lot of people have it a lot worse then me and i shouldn't complain about my silly privileged white girl life. i know but i'm just so fucking tired.

i don’t know what’s up with me this year, because i just feel so rushed all the time and i feel like have no time to myself. every day is packed full with volleyball, babysitting, tutoring, homework, obligations to my family, obligations to friends and trying to strengthen and save those relationships, trying to read and write everyday to maintain some sort of identity, confirmation, and just everything. i'm so tired. i have no time to myself, and i feel like i'm being lost into all of these ideas of what i'm supposed to do.

i'm supposed to get good, high a's so i can have a good life. i'm doing it, but it's so hard. i'm supposed to write and read every day so i can be unique. so i can be a good writer. so i can have a good life. i'm trying. i'm supposed to know why the hell i like someone. i'm supposed to know how i feel for people. i'm supposed to know if i'm freaking bi. i'm really fucking trying on this one. i'm supposed to be certain of my best friend. i'm supposed to be certain that she loves me like i love her. that i love her the way i used to. it's hard. i'm not used to it being hard. it used to be easy. i'm supposed to know what to say to my friends. i'm supposed to know if we ARE friends. i'm trying. i really am.

i'm supposed to know what to say when i hear them talk about me behind my back. i'm supposed to scream and cry about it. i'm supposed to protest. but it's so fucking complicated. it's fucking complicated. i don't know i don't know. i'm supposed to tell my friends so that they can understand, but i TRIED and one of my best friends said that the main boy, the main whisperer, was just being grouped with the others. that he wasn't like that, because he is her friend. she's wrong. i don't know why they do it. i can't understand what is so wrong with me that i am the target. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME

i don't know who is being genuinly nice to me because i know they make fun of me and maybe it's all a big joke. "yeah be nice to stella, see how well she handles it? she's so fucking flustered because no one ever talks to her hahahha." i do think it's a joke sometimes. when the boys are nice to me. i used to think some of them were actually nice but now i hear... i don't even know what i hear. i don't understand i don't know

but i'm fucking trying. and i'm supposed to be trying harder and i'm not supposed to say fucking and my mom yells at me if i say 'god dang it' but it's so hard to care because i am fucking falling apart and i don't know. i love my friends and i love my family but i don't know. i need time and space but for what?

i don't know but i'm fucking trying. i'm fucking trying.

i have a reputation for smiling. i smile all of the time. when i don't hear someone i smile. i smile whenever i talk to someone. when the boys talk to me i smile. but lately it's been getting to hard because i'm too fucking tired and why do they deserve my fucking smiles?

I feel myself paling. like I'm just bleached out colors. there isn't any of myself left in here. I used to think beautifully. now I watch the night fall and think to myself how pleasant it is to fall away.
I can't speak right now I'm sorry nevermind.