Originally Posted by cheezemziez (Post 392468)

Is this about your dad?

He should have apologised immediately, even if he thinks it helped you in the long run. Your behaviour in the next month is nothing to do with whatever you said. And what kind of a lesson is that to teach your children?
No matter how he treats you, you are expected to forgive him because he is only doing what he thinks is best for you. It's not fair. When our parents get older and we are to care for them, if we hit them then we would be arrested for assault, because they would be elderly and frail. But we're not as strong as they are now, but they can do this to us, because they are our parents and they are there to discipline us.
Parents from other cultures have different disciplinary methods. Apparently Asian parents' are the most effective, and command the most respect. Our parents are different people in our lives compared to what Western parents are in their children's lives.
When I was younger, I got lost when we were in China, and when my dad found me he slapped me seven times across the face. Passer-bys, including a police officer, didn't blink an eye. If he did that in London, he would have been arrested and I would probably be living away from him. He forgets stuff quite easily, and we haven't really spoken of it since. But it changed my view of him. I don't really like being near him any more. Of course, this particular instance didn't really stop me from doing it again, because I didn't mean to in the first place.

I'm not sure how this is supposed to help. But I advise you to remember how you feel about this. In case you decide to have children, or anyone of importance in your life does in future.

Originally Posted by rebecca (Post 392432)

Lauren, refusing to speak either worries people or infuriates them even more. It could be effective, or it could make things worse.

Am I the only one who has a good home life? I mean, my dad has hit me before, but we were doing boxing. We always used to. My mum gets a bit stressed, and antagonises me occasionally, but to be fair, I usually start it. So yes, my home life is perfect. I feel sorry for everyone here because I can't connect with their problems.

Originally Posted by Lily09 (Post 392442)

I know the feeling. My dad used to slap me repeatedly and sometimes throw me around and push me, sometimes a combination of them. Sometimes,it was reasonable, other times for the most idiotic things, such as saying, "I don't like this show." or asking him to have a book. Im not going to go into details since he doesn't do it anymore because I screamed at him, calling him an ignorant asshole and that physical punishment is useless since he's done it for so many things that I'm used to it.
My dad said, "Thats the Asian punishment." :/

Like Rebecca said, I don't know if that is an effective way or not. It might be, but it might just piss your dad/whoever off even more. I don't know, I guess the only thing here is to try your best not to say anything that could be considered offensive.

Originally Posted by bookworm1999 (Post 392443)

Wow.....um, guys Iam so sorry your dad wold o that to you. First off, it isn't okay he is doing that whether the Asians say it is or not. The bond there will be deeply damaged over time and that should be the strongest relationship you have. The dad must protect the daughter in any way he is responsible, such as their purity and inocence. My dad is nuts if he sees me with a boy, haha, I do have guy friends of course he just enjoys joking how he'll get out the shotgun or something. Fathers should talk to their daughters, help them work on their flaws and not literally fix it for them or they will learn nothing. He should give right punishment, not yell how stupid they are but tell them he loves them but is dissapointed to see them disobey. I am soooooo thankful for my dad, our relationship is stronger than ever. I pray the best for you girls.

Originally Posted by pluzzle (Post 392595)

Well, I have absolutely no idea what is going on...

Originally Posted by rebecca (Post 392467)

About what?

Originally Posted by rebecca (Post 392690)

We don't any more. It encouraged me to be violent. It was never proper boxing. He never did damage. No head injuries, nothing but the occasional dead arm. I usually got hyper and attacked him with pillows. Aside from those occasions, I learnt to fight.

I know it sounds bad over the internet, but trust me on this, it was a game. I am a violent little girl, and all it can be described as is entertainment. And on occasion, life lessons.

Seriously, my dad is amazing. He taught me to defend myself, he taught me about politics and he started my Tolkein obsession. He has made it clear that if I was ever abused by anyone, he would happily kill them, forget legalities.