I think I just lost my best friend.

what happened? are you okay? *hugs* *gives cookies* ily :(

I dunno...we've been best friends for about 13 years now and this year we're going to different schools so we haven't been able to talk much or hang out. I got a message from her saying that "i guess we're going our separate ways although i didn't think it would happen this soon. See you around." I don't want to lose her as a friend. We've been through literally everything together. I want to hang out with her but there's no time. I don't even know what to talk to her about anymore :(

This again.

*points* You're a dickhead.
*points* You're a dickhead.
*points* You're a dickhead! EVERYONE IS A DICKHEAD! YAYYYYYY!

it's 7:18 and 2014 is drawing to a close.
i dunno what to say.
it was a really emotional year for me. i started it off with terrible social anxiety and minor depression, decided i needed to "fix myself" over summer break, and then kind of went through a shitton of ups and downs.
i want to be happy all year this time around, so here's to hoping i won't pull myself down again.
happy new year's, guys.

shh no (*hugs and pets hair*) we all have bad years but that doesn't mean this one can be as hella as you are okay so have some ice cream or something because yOU DESERVE IT

@lena (forgot to quote XD) thanks. c:
idek I used to be optimistic but I can't do that anymore and I'm trying to work on it so thanks :3

i made it
for a while i didn't think i would
happy 2015 guys

guys idek how to say this at all and im not going to bother explaining in detail because i just can't
i honestly hated myself for a while today morning
(morning being 2:30am)
and not even the old 'ugh im such an idiot no one likes me no one cares' way that i occasionally do
i really couldn't even stand the thought of myself at all i was just disgusted and ashamed and i didn't know what to do with my life or anything at all
i honestly thought i would lose everything i ever cared about and it killed me all at once i couldn't sleep and my heart was pounding and i was shivering and it had nothing to do with the cold i just couldn't
part of it was just my overreaction at something i can't say and another was my imagination just causing up possible scenarios that were driving me insane and i honestly thought i was despicable and i never actually felt that way about myself
guys i was actually contemplating hurting myself and just shutting everything and everyone out and i was full on panicking that if anyone found out they'd hate me for life
i thought my parents would disown me and id be alone and i wasn't even just thinking of the prospect of it, i was sure they would and i can't tell you how terrifying that is
it was then that i actually started praying in my mind trying to pretend that that would make it better i was more than desperate for something to pull me out of that feeling bc i couldn't take it and just
it was the worst night of my life, hands down. the morning of jan 1st 2015. it feels like a sick joke now
im completely fine, my parents do not despise me, i am not hurting myself, but i feel indescribably guilty and im sorry i can't further elaborate on why idek why im typing this i thought maybe i shouldn't but i can't really tell anyone else (more like i have no one else to tell) so here you go
at least this year taught me something

it's okay to feel sad, but don't take it out on yourself. just don't. you will regret it later, trust me.
you know what? i felt that way too, secretly. i didn't even know why, but i felt sick to the stomach nearly all night long. i started to regret every little thing i did for the past few years, and all for no apparent reason. that's actually why i was up until 4 in the morning "randomly walking around the house".
if you need someone to talk to, i'm here. stay safe :)