The Writer's Block

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-   -   Your emotional venting thread. I'll explain. (http://www.kidpub.com/forum3/showthread.php?t=2095)

bookworm1999 06-13-2013 07:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 467733)
Maybe someday...I don't know.

Even if I don't see you, i know you are beautiful :)

TheAshWolf 06-13-2013 07:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bookworm1999 (Post 467736)
Okay XD It doesn't really introduce anything further into the book that you haven't read. Just emotional rant of Samuel.

Iím not insane.
Every morning, when the sunís rays have collided with my lids, I tell myself this. I have to tell myself this. Itís the only thing holding me back from honestly believing it. Inclined to a habit, the habit then became a mandatory ritual. Now, I donít know what it is. A religion? A morality? Itís come to the point where I mumble the phrase repeatedly in my sleepóif I happen to sleep that night. I dream it, I think it, I doodle it. Not insane not insane not insane.
I feel that since half the majority of my town has caught the news of Sam Howardís chronic case of Lymphocytic Leukemia, Iím treated like a monster different. Itís similar that of a puppy with a cruel, malicious sickness. People pity it, fawn over the sad look in its tired, broken eyes; broken soul. But they donít touch it. Some donít even look at it, because they donít give a rip or the puppyís distress is too dreadful to glance at. I feel like that puppy. Some days, I get those dismal glances, and then others, I sense that I am surrounded by piercing, disgusted gazes. The sort of gazes that strip me clean, examine, and sniff me out like a dog.
The dread follows after.
Scuttling their children away like I am a disease walking, stifling gasps, hindering from within a few yards of me, whatever it is, my lungs slowly fill with liquid. The liquid thickens and I forget how to breathe. It cuts me off from my right mind, my right sense, and I want to wear a paper sack; hide myself from the world. Iím insane different, and apparently, no one likes different anymore. I donít know where my mind has been for that past decade, though I sense Iíve been missing a lot.
I mainly get the looks in school. Donít touch me, youíre crazy, watch out: the way I read them. Their pinched foreheads, wrinkled noses, diffident, fear-filled gazes with the lashes that touch the crest of their eyebrows. So wide, so terrified, even Iím scared of myself. I feel that I should be strapped down, locked up, put away. Iím a monster Iím not like them.
It also fuels my hate for cancer as well. Before, cancer was just a common, omnipresent problem. It was for every person enslaved to it and its effects. No one really thinks much of it. Itís sad, they understand that much. They want it gone, and thatís amazing. But did they ever sincerely care? No, and no one anticipated possessing it. I didnít.
Cancer is just a word. It means a lot more. Hate is just a word. It means a lot more.
Iíve been anticipating having an excuse to get out of my room all day. Now I have one. I glance at the clock, waiting waiting waiting. Staring at its two hands, they click by gradually, announcing each second. I sit in the corner of my room where I usually sit; where I usually wait. Iím not tempted to pass the time by watching the TV, checking my phone or dabbling over the Internet. Iím too paranoid, terrified Iíll miss the exact time I am supposed to head off. So far now, I am stuck in time. My head swarming in the pool of minutes and seconds. I wait wait wait.

*is stunned* How....do you DO that?!

TheAshWolf 06-13-2013 07:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bookworm1999 (Post 467737)
Even if I don't see you, i know you are beautiful :)

I have no words to describe how happy that made me.

TheAshWolf 06-13-2013 07:43 AM

Goodnight, Kenny! Err....morning....I dunno. XD *hugs you* Goodnight, everyone.

*drags self away so i can sleep*

bookworm1999 06-13-2013 07:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 467739)
*is stunned* How....do you DO that?!

Do what???

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 467740)
I have no words to describe how happy that made me.

XD *pats head*

bookworm1999 06-13-2013 07:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAshWolf (Post 467741)
Goodnight, Kenny! Err....morning....I dunno. XD *hugs you* Goodnight, everyone.

*drags self away so i can sleep*

Goodnight girly *fans away to sleep*

LaurenM 06-13-2013 06:29 PM

I couldn't sleep again. Twice this week. Exams week.
Dafudge. And it's Chinese History today, one of the hardest subjects!
I think it's anxiety, because I spent quite a long time speed-copying my notes, though I don't think I was scared last Monday. I looked up how to fall asleep, and it took a long time until it worked.

TheAshWolf 06-13-2013 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LaurenM (Post 467860)
I couldn't sleep again. Twice this week. Exams week.
Dafudge. And it's Chinese History today, one of the hardest subjects!
I think it's anxiety, because I spent quite a long time speed-copying my notes, though I don't think I was scared last Monday. I looked up how to fall asleep, and it took a long time until it worked.

D: I'm sorry, Lauren. You're probably right; it sounds like anxiety to me. What method did you use to try to fall asleep?

Confuzzled 06-13-2013 06:47 PM

Ok. So I was at a camp last year, and it was really fun. It was like three nights.. something like that. Anywho one night my cabin mates kept complaining that they didn';t feel good. I told them to stop complaining or else I would start thinking about it and get sick... you know how that is? Well, they didn't so I thought about it and... got sick. I was so embaressed and the helper peoples weren't being very nice about it, and niether were my cabin mates. So I am going to the same camp this year except it is like 5 or 6 nights and I am so worried the same thing is going to happen! Does anyone have tips on how to not think about throwing up?
So far I think I am going to bring a reading light and a good book and read, or stay up really late the night before I go to camp and then I will fall asleep right away... I don't know. No electronic games or stuff like that is allowed... HELP!

bookworm1999 06-14-2013 01:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Confuzzled (Post 467871)
Ok. So I was at a camp last year, and it was really fun. It was like three nights.. something like that. Anywho one night my cabin mates kept complaining that they didn';t feel good. I told them to stop complaining or else I would start thinking about it and get sick... you know how that is? Well, they didn't so I thought about it and... got sick. I was so embaressed and the helper peoples weren't being very nice about it, and niether were my cabin mates. So I am going to the same camp this year except it is like 5 or 6 nights and I am so worried the same thing is going to happen! Does anyone have tips on how to not think about throwing up?
So far I think I am going to bring a reading light and a good book and read, or stay up really late the night before I go to camp and then I will fall asleep right away... I don't know. No electronic games or stuff like that is allowed... HELP!

Try to go to bed earlier than the others. That might help you so you won't hear anything. Mention it before you go to sleep that night, it gives them fair warning. Also, I suggest bringing some sort of laxative like Tums or Pepto. I know what stomach pains are like, have survived with them most of my life. These are the only things I can think of. :/ Sorry if it didn't really help.


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